Why they/them?

I'm a nonbinary individual, which means I'm not a (girl) man, [not yet] neither a woman (yes this was a Britney Spears' reference to break the ice... gettt ittt. Ok I'll stop now). However, I'm also a demigender individual, which means I kinda identify with some aspects commonly associated to the female gender.

So, (very) occasionally, I won't mind she/her pronouns - my main pronouns still remain as they/them, though, and, as long as you respect that, we'll get along fine.

In which situations are we ok to use she/her pronouns with you? Or overall female oriented titles as Miss, lady, girl, woman, etc?

First and foremost, If you can avoid, do it. But these are the situations in which I find the use of she/her pronouns quite aceptable:

• If you didn't know - it's ok, you can do better next time and no one is gonna blame you for that.
• If we're talking in my mother tongue - portuguese is such a tricky language when it comes to neutral pronouns still! So, it's fine if you use she/her and the likes as in queridA/obrigadA/cuidadA etc, etc - but if you start using queridE/obrigadE/cuidadE I won't complain in the slightest!!!
• If we're really really close friends and I gave you permission and if I am in a really good day.
• If we're total strangers or if we have just a professional relationship - I am seriously afraid to talk about my gender to most people still, so I kinda go with it. Sad, but true.
• Regarding the second part: Please avoid the most you can calling me a girl, lady, woman and the likes, it really itches me all the wrong ways and I don't like it. When refering to me, do as an individual, a human being, a person, a friend etc, etc, etc. Never these quite specific gendered stuff. I seriously hate it and, by this post, I hope yall stop calling me these things. Except for "miga". "Miga" is universal and "miga" is beatiful and I love "miga". Without an 'a'.
• As I don't know of any neutral "miss" counterparts, as long as it's used professionally I won't mind it (much) until we come up with something else.

And what are the situations we cannot, in any way, call you by she/her?

I feel super dysphoric while on my period so P L E A S E refrain the most you can using any female related words to me whenever I mention cramps or pms or period shit near you. I'll appretiate it A WHOLE LOT.

So, these are the main points I can think of as in right now. Anything else I find usefull I'll add on later. What you can't really figure out by reading this essay alone, don't be shy in asking me and, to quote the grand Alex Fierro, "you don't need to understand, just, you know, a little respect". This is a serious matter to me and I'd really appreciate if you could take this as seriously as I do from now on.

I wish you my best regards. x

King.