so i have a gift for saying the darndest things

• oh m y god what is the moe antropomorphisation of a nonexistent structure held together by the determination of a frail species floating through nothing doing Now
• like…. i Need more creepy ass dark’ness dementia raven way vashta serenadas….
• how is the mermaid walking
• #im so confused #like i know everything but im still confused #u feel
• also im salty af abt the time-and-space buttcrack.
• some bitch at homestuck headquarters
• (friend: "what did you kinkshame?") God, probably?
• i tried to type omfg and ended up with ofmg (oh fucking my god). i proceeded to say “oooooh~”. that ‘nuff for you?
• didn’t knew the plural of uterus was uteri. always assumed it was uteruses. hm interesting
• is there a remix slav squat / nightcore slav squat / or do u just say classic for it to sound fancier
• ah / i understand / a ritual of white, presumably slavic men / sitting like they’re gonna shit in a dirty place
• at least i can send a metaphysical .gif of fixit felix from my soul and the power of love
• (suggestive quiche eyebrows)
• RICHARD NIXON IS NOT BEST DAD
• anal beads was me thank you
• JUST COUPLE THINGS: BREAKING INTO AREA 51 TO GET FUCKING MEWTWO
• bruce wayne is a kinky man
• (holy fuck @talonVEVO
• frecklepink banjo, creator and coproductor of the united states along with Uncle Sam
• i saw him looking at Takasemp while he wrecked the houseplant he is #Gaye
• but jona’s dead so it’s just necrophilia phew
• sparkly anime salad tit
• banana dominatrix is pretty gay
• “–jonathan’s full of butterflies (insert “jonathan feels full” nsfw joke here) but he’s also…pretty scared”
• your new dad is a zombie it’s really easy dude have you never watched a single movie in your life?
• I CAN’T BELIEVE (CHARACTER) HAS TURNED ME, A HUMBLE FARMER FROM ARGENTINA, INTO A HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA
• morty is a family friendly crab, a crustacean for all ages, loves children
• the pokemon go au already has a Mr President turtle equivalent in the pokestop avdol made of a graffiti of a turtle that polnareff made
• it’s the really upbeat “i-am-better-than-you” song with a rollerskating catgirl
• usa’s capitalism is a streaker
• mid-air pissing !
• i can’t believe i’m quoting monster factory about how a guy reacts to having wet dreams
• sexy turf mix-n-matchin'
• TIM IS FUCKING JESUS