so, if i ever change my mind and decide to have children (and by have i mean ADOPT) there are a few things i want to remember. mostly, these are things i remember thinking when i was a child and wishing my parents and adults understood.

• kids understand what your talking about more than you think. even when you're being vague or think you're talking in code
• instead of yelling at kids and getting angry at them - reason with them! novel concept, i know. i always remember that problems were solved much faster when my father took me aside, calmly explained that i was being a brat/difficult/an asshole and that it was upsetting my mother. he would ask me what the problem was and then try to explain to me how if i stopped doing whatever it was, how things could go so much easier. it always worked.
• as parents, just b/c it is your job to make major decisions for your children, this does not mean you should not consulte them! they are people, too. if you control your childs life in this way they will resent you. they will also never learn how to make good decision on their own.
• if a kid asks you what a word means don't say "well look it up!" b/c they won't. and then they'll just never know. so explain it to them and it will stay with them forever
• if you're a doctor we all know that in the end the parents will be making the decisions. but it's the kid who's your patient - so talk to THEM! the parents are in the room, they can hear what you're saying, they're following you. so talk TO the kid, look AT the kid.
• you do not teach a child that hitting another child is wrong by hitting them.
• never hit your child. not once. not ever. your children should respect you, not be afraid of you!