Thirteen Reasons Why

  • The thing about thirteen reasons is that it depends on the mindset. In the perspective of a healthy mind, the series is a gateways that introduces new dialogue about issues on mental health, suicide, and bullying. In the perspective of an unhealthy that is not stable and contemplating suicide or on that track, they could see the series as a "testimony" in a sense. Through seeing Hannah's action and seeing the series, they could believe as suicide is the the only way to go and that suicide is the best option. This series, however, also have the issue of possible glamorizing suicide as a revenge as well as incorrect thoughts, per se, about how to help. Here Clay believes that because he was not brave enough to tell Hannah that he loves her, she killed herself. He believes that his love could have saved her. That is not necessarily true, although his love could have given her some support, it could not have helped her. The reason why is because the issue is not Clay's lack of love or any love of any kind but her mentality and mental health.

That one feeling

  • Do you know that feeling? The need to die. The want to harm yourself. To be in pain. To be numb. To stop being numb. All I can think right now is "you don't know me. you don't know anything about me." I feel disgusting. I want to rip this layers upon layers of skin away off. At this moment right now, I feel constricted in my own body, my own skin. And I want that feeling to be gone. I don't need the feeling of constriction. I most certainly do not need this feeling of being numb, but that is want I want. I don't want to sound like one of those people who is ungrateful and self centered, but why do I feel so numb and lost when it appears that everyone else is not. Why am I lost? And why is it so hard for me to keep friends?

What I am Not

  • It is not that I am afraid to be alone. I am afraid of being abandoned.It is not that I am shy. I am afraid of social and human interaction. It simply makes me uncomfortable. It is not that I am reckless. I am self destructive in a self harming way. You are so focused on what you think I am that you never bothered to actually realize that they are exactly what I am not. If you truly care enough about me, you would see the truths in my lies. But you did not care enough to try. Because everyone is so nice until you die.

Suicide Room

  • How dark is it when your favorite movie is about suicide. If I were to say that I have watched Phantom of the Opera 5 time, I have watched a movie about suicide about 20. I was going to say 50 or 30 but was not sure if that would be too much. You see, suicide room is about a boy who is just trying to live. He was introduced into the world of suicide, particular the glamorized part of it. He was suffering and lost. Amidst his despair, he found out about the suicide room. From there on, he spiraled down the rabbit hole until his very own death.

You.

  • I would never compare you to the sun, but instead the moon. Everyone compares the one they love with the sun because the sun is so big and the saying is so common. I would rather compare you to the moon because the moon is the perfect representation of your beauty, a beauty that shines in the darkness. I choose the moon because like the moon, your resilience in the hard and dark times show how wonderful and strong you are. The moon may relies on the sun to be seen, but it doesn't need the sun to exist. Just like how people are attracted to you for your beauty and shine, you do not need them to define who you are or make you who you are; you are you and you exist for you.You argue that you are not beautiful or deserving of our love, but you deserve not only that but so, so much more. You've been hurt, broken, and lost. Now it's time for you to be happy as well. Don't worry, you are more than deserving of our love and you are completely beautiful inside and out.So I would never say my world was dull before I met you and that you are the light that shined into my life. That would be an exaggeration and kinda cheesy. I would much rather say you're the catalyst that speed up my slow moving world and help me to where I am now.

To think:

  • you know there is a saying that it's because you spend so much time with yourself that you are able to see your flaws more than others. but i don't think that is necessarily true. i think that it's because we spend so much time with ourselves that we become paranoid and insecure about our mistakes and flaws. it is not that you don't have good quality hunbun, you spend so much time with yourself that your vision is skewed and you see your insecurities and flaws more. in the perspective of others, you're a lovely being that is wonderful and sweet. so please keep that in mind as well when you look at yourself. while you think is you are as boring and empty as a blank canvas, i don't see that at all. well a blank canvas is beautiful in it's own way. blank canvas is not just a boring piece of blank space, i see a beautiful masterpiece waiting to be found. i see a clean slate that could get better from here. i see a beauty of potential. and if i may, you are a beauty with so much more.

Just one of THOSE days

  • I know most days I am bright and happy. It looks as if nothing can bother me and I'm just enjoying life as I spend hours and hours in front of the computer either getting drawn into this one anime or an Asian drama that is just so, so interesting for me. While those days do certainly exist, there will be days on that I let the negative thoughts enter my mind. Those are the days that I will not be motivated to do anything other than wallowing in the comfort of my bed, even days where I might decided eating and going to class is too much of a hassle. There will be days where I will be filled with negatively degree of sadness and unmotivation for days, even weeks at a time. Those are the day you probably want to help me, but feel hopeless at the same time because you don't know how, and that's okay. There will be nights where I am just angry for no reason and take it out on you, or even nights where I'm crying and can't seem to stop. It's okay and I'm okay, or at least that is what I will be telling you. Because despite the lack of control on my emotions, I will still try to hide the fact that I am indeed not okay. Those are the days I ask you to be patience with me and try to be understanding even when you have no idea what is going on or what you can do. Those are the days I ask you to just bare with me and just be there by my side as I continue on this roller coaster that is my emotions, even though it sucks to. Because despite the constant pounding thoughts of just wanting to die, your company and comfort makes it seem okay even though I never voice it aloud.

Maybe

  • Maybe right now all he can think about is the hate between him and her. Maybe all that exist in his head about her is how toxic she was, how manipulative she was, how undeniably controlling she was. Maybe all that goes on in his head is how negative she was and how glad he is to never see her again. But maybe that wasn't all. Maybe she wasn't as bad as he thought she was. Maybe one day down the road, he think back and remember the time that they spent together was actually okay. Maybe he'll remember that despite all the bad she did, she was trying. Maybe he'll remember the day he finally sat down and think about not only how much she changed him, but how much he changed her. Because maybe there isn't just one side to every story. Maybe, just maybe.
jun 7 2017 ∞
may 25 2018 +