- If you're funny, we will sleep with you.
- The best parts of your body don't even know they are attractive. So don't get too knocked out about your six-pack because it's really your earlobes that make us hear the wokka wokka music.
- Wedding rings need to be sparkly to remind us not to have sex with other people.
- When you call us a bitch, we take it to mean strong, opinionated, and sassy. When you call us the c-word, you better cross the street.
- Yes, we want to change how you dress, but it doesn't mean that we're trying to change you. You have the soul of a poet and a really hot ass, but those pleated khakis make you look like our tenth-grade chemistry teacher.
- Women love to be referred to as "m'lady." As in, "Would you like another beer, m'lady?
- It's the circumference, stupid! The numerical measurement of the bra has nothing to do with the size of our boobs.
- You say: "I'm intense." We hear: "I'm a psycho."
- We shave our toes
- It's sexy when you cook for us. Unless you're wearing an apron. Then it's just weird.
- We hate the smell of Axe
- When we say, "Just tell me the truth. I won't get mad," we're totally lying.
- Our crush on the "bad boy" - the emotionally unavailable commitment-phobe who looks cute on his motorcycle - is fleeting and superficial. We really want the guy who will play Scrabble, hold our hair when we vomit, and love us when we're in our third trimester and weigh a buck ninety.
aug 1 2010 ∞
feb 25 2012 +