when i was a child, i would go under my white sheets and try to pretend that is what nonexistence looked like, i imagined the colour of suffocating, billowing white all around me to be the colour of nothing.
in class, i can barely hold my laughter when i look under the desks and see everyone's legs tapping.
i'm usually nervous or anxious when i'm around people, even friends. i am so scared of being ...
balboa pier: take polaroids of the beach, grab a cheap, sort of gross icecream cone/frozen banana from ridiculously californian tourist-trap shop, write obscure or soul-freeing messages in the wet sand only to have your words trampled on by a stranger, swept away and forgotten by the ocean, or destroyed by your own unforgiving self, or better yet- leaving it so someone can read it and think about ...