• don't challenge yourself too much and end up regretting it. some challenges are good, but some can make your anxiety worse.
  • there are certain kind of love that lasts forever but it's not so often, don't expect love from simple I love yous and kind gestures from people. it doesn't assure you anything. in a snap of a finger, they can forget who you are, the effort you gave for them- it's all useless. nothing remains the same- people change. so don't cry over this kind of shit- everybody changes.
  • one thing i learned from being a rebel against people's wrongdoings-- it's not wrong, but sometimes it's best to shut up. they can bring you down or hinder a good promotion- and you can't do anything about it- these sons of bitches
  • it's best not to do any sort of gossiping...
aug 6 2015 ∞
aug 31 2015 +
  • how can a person get attached with someone who is emotionally and personally distant?
  • is marriage really for companionship's sake? how can two people be with each other forever without even a slight decrease in feelings? (i have asked myself that before, it's a forever question)
  • how can others play with somebody and not get any (even a tiny amount of) feelings involved?
  • when you avoid certain situations yet it comes running after you and you can never escape from it- is this kind of inevitability called 'fate'?
jan 25 2015 ∞
jan 26 2015 +

2015

  • planner
  • running shoes
  • snapback (dc+h&m)
  • travel bag
  • walking/hiking shoes
  • digi & analog watch
  • wheeled luggage
dec 21 2014 ∞
apr 14 2015 +
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  • skinny/ slender
  • effeminate-looking
  • one-woman man
  • thoughtful and sweet (but not so obvious)
  • EDIT: thoughtful. very.
  • not the preppy kind of guy
  • more of ragged jeans-shirts-trainers
  • music slave (still)
  • learn to drive at an early age
  • hates school and stays as a deviant(still)
  • piercings
  • be a guitar pro
  • artist
  • bboying would be nice
mar 8 2012 ∞
may 5 2015 +

Relatable lines from the book

  • "For a certain kind of person, love begins from something tiny or silly. From something like that or it doesn’t begin at all."
  • "I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once."
  • "It’s because I hated the place so much. I wasn’t going to let it beat me. If I’d let it get to me once I’d be finished."
  • "What’s that thing that guys have for girls with long hair? Fascists, the whole bunch of them! Why do you guys all think girls with long hair are the classiest, the sweetest, the most feminine? I mean, I myself know at least two hundred and fifty unclassy girls with long hair. Really."
feb 20 2013 ∞
may 14 2013 +
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that I would like to do, if I have all the time in the world plus total freedom (plus money)

  • Learn a specific sport/martial arts (i.e. Wushu)
  • Enroll in a sign language class
  • Study Japanese and Chinese intensively so I can be fluent
  • Read books most of the time
  • Do art stuffs every now and then. Explore different art materials one at a time and master how to use them.
  • Get to travel to different countries and buy lots of stuffs
  • Raise my own pet. Prolly a cat or turtle or a fluffy dog
  • Be with my guitaro forever, and we'll sing songs and be happy.
  • Eat samgyupsal and drink soju on rooftop with a close friend
  • Learn and play a musical instrument like ...
jun 3 2011 ∞
jul 9 2015 +
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  • Get another job that I would really like
  • Fucking peace of mind
  • A special relationship -that will last forever
  • Get to work in UHI and converse with Nihonjins
  • More sleep
  • Quality time with loved ones
  • Graduate (with honors)
  • Get a JOB
  • Be really good at something/ have that "talent" like a pro
nov 3 2010 ∞
may 30 2013 +
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  • Child-like yet open-minded
  • Punctual -my best asset; but I tend to procrastinate
  • Time-conscious
  • Altruist (most of the times)

Should change ---

  • My attitude of being an asocial
  • Being too nice. People take advantage of you in whatever way they like.
  • Being too much of a pessimist
  • My liberated choice of words (which surprises some)
  • The drama inside me
nov 1 2010 ∞
mar 13 2013 +
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Source of enjoyment -

  • Having coffee/ milktea breaks
  • Cold weather
  • Doing random unusual stuff
  • Going to various new places wherever, whenever
  • Taking pictures of random things
  • Shopping
  • Stargazing
  • Producing nice drawings during (boring) class hours
  • Reading interesting articles/essays/fics
  • Talking to unpretentious people about weird and liberated things (which is really rare)
  • Trying good restaus
  • Interaction with animals (cats & turtles in particular but I love all sorts of animals anyway)
nov 3 2010 ∞
mar 10 2012 +

Random musings on the upcoming GDP movie (not in chronological order; ongoing)

  • More intense PUNYETA than the previous 'Punyeta asan na ang mga dagdag na kawal?' line
  • Some Luna and Goyong talk
  • Tita and Deodato Arellano
  • Poor little Goyong eating meat pies (I want to see this)
  • Goyong namimigay ng pamphlets sa simbahan
  • Selling kakanin as a young boy
  • Houseboy
  • Young Goyong vs Tito Marcelo duel – arnis
  • Goyong in Ateneo -mathinik
  • Poleng
  • Tips ni Poleng kung paano iwasang mahulog sa bitag ng karisma ng Heneral
  • Maiinggit kami sa lakas ni Poleng
  • Yung nanay ni Poleng na susulatan niya ng...
oct 31 2015 ∞
dec 22 2015 +
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when you fall in the deepest shit called love -

  • always remember:
    • he might not love you as much as you will love him
    • he won't give you "everything" as much as you plan to give him your "everything"
    • one day, he might fall out of love
    • and you too, can fall out of love and find all of your stupidity the most disgusting thing ever

-

so you should ⇣

  • try not to:
    • dedicate a letter for him
    • write wonderful thoughts about him (diary is the only exception)
    • think he rules your world and he is the c...
jul 14 2015 ∞
aug 13 2015 +
  • Review
    • Japanese
    • Chinese
  • Explore new hobbies
  • Draw
  • Memorize a new song
  • Play the guitar
  • Read a book
  • Write thoughts
  • Create a novel
  • Practice dance/ Look for a new dance choreo

※Time is precious- don't spend your energy on things which are not important/people who doesn't know your worth

dec 14 2014 ∞
dec 28 2014 +

I should

  • live with more optimism, less drama
  • enjoy the little things- i'm turning [*] soon, so yeah, fuck i might have only a little time left
    • live my life everyday as if i'm gonna die soon
  • travel -hopefully
  • buy useful things- only useful things
  • never waste my time in being idle
  • try my best to avoid attachment -or better yet, choose wisely
  • take care of my health
dec 15 2014 ∞
dec 21 2014 +
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  • Putonghua!
  • Learn how to play the guitar
  • Not to cut my hair short (x 2015)
  • Avoid hazardous food temptations
  • Lose weight (I did)
  • Sabotage love dammit
  • Play the piano as often as possible
  • Do good in Japanese studies
  • Have a job that I really like; huge salary - so I can get my tangible wants
  • Practice watercolor and be good at it (optimistic)
  • Practice (anime) anatomy and produce better drawings
  • Learn how to drive
nov 3 2010 ∞
jul 9 2015 +
  • "Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"
mar 5 2013 ∞
mar 13 2013 +
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2013年

  • jibaku/ shibari
  • aesthetic nude/semi-nude photos
  • very simple/minimalistic drawings
  • black and white photos and drawings
  • drawing on flesh (please make me stop)
  • traditional japanese art

2014年

  • breaking

2015年

  • nude art
feb 13 2013 ∞
aug 12 2015 +
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Things that keep me sane -

  • Arts, Aesthetics, Literature and Music
  • Shounen-ai, Yaoi, June or whatever you want to call it
  • Anything Japanese -- Music, Anime, Manga, Food, etc.
  • To-dos and planning things (and actually accomplishing them)

+

People -

  • Who likes the same interests
  • Open-minded individuals
  • Who are considerate and caring
nov 3 2010 ∞
jan 20 2014 +
  • Imperfect skin
  • Disproportional hands/feet to body ratio
  • Drawing skills
  • Amateur guitar skills
  • My bad memory
  • Slowness in taking directions
jan 6 2012 ∞
feb 10 2012 +
  • Don't start working an hour & 30mins before your shift
  • Get an hourly 5min break at work
  • A new beginning
    • Get ready for rejections
      • Once rejected, move on
  • spend more time reviewing daily
  • write more-- this year
  • finish at least 3books in your pending list
  • cook more
  • eat healthier
  • set time for drawing
sep 15 2015 ∞
dec 14 2015 +
  • i have a dream, but it's vague and nearly impossible
    • ladies at this age should have a more precise (realistic) goal, i think
  • haven't met that person yet
  • i feel like i'm stuck at 15 (or 16 or 17)
jul 29 2015 ∞
aug 30 2015 +

I believe in a few more steps, I am going to walk the path of a hikikomori if not for:

  • the need to earn money or else-
  • my dream of taking lots of pictures outdoor and appreciating some things around me
  • the very few people that I want to talk to
    • I enjoy their company and they like to spend their precious time with me
    • people who have accepted me and my weaknesses
jun 5 2013 ∞
sep 15 2015 +

"It's just not possible for one person to watch over another person for ever and ever. I mean, say we got married. You'd have to go to work during the day. Who's going to watch over me while you're away? Or say you have to go on a business trip, who's going to watch over me then? Can I be glued to you every minute of our lives What kind of relationship would that be? Sooner or later you'd get sick of me." -Naoko (Noruwei no Mori p.8)

mar 27 2013 ∞
mar 27 2013 +
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  • People will die, if not because of accidents, then it's because of health problems. Is almost everything good in this planet harmful to our systems? This is kind of creepy, thinking about the ways of death and how it will eat you and suck your bones until you'll die in pain. Do other people think that "One day, surely I'll die if not in a painful and depressing manner, then it would be tragic but I won't feel the pain because I'll be dead in a matter of seconds."?--Because I do, and I feel horrible about this.
  • How do people resist the urge of overthinking? Overthinking itself is inevitable for me. I can't help but think a lot and I know this will kill me gradually but it seems that this is out of my control.
  • How is it possible not to get tired of people you currently like? How could you always not get bored with each other's comp...
jan 1 2013 ∞
feb 20 2013 +
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  • Looks doesn't matter too much
  • Mature but also child-like in some ways
  • Someone who can really take good care of me
  • Treats me as an imouto and best friend
  • Very thoughtful- both in words and actions
    • doing/giving small things to make me smile
  • Knows how to handle situations whenever I am very emotional and depressive (because I know it is challenging)
  • Understands me no matter how unreasonable and childish I am
  • Still loves me despite of my weaknesses (i.e. jealousy, full of loathe)
  • Accepts my weirdness and tells me how much he likes it
  • Someone who would never cheat on me/like other girls
feb 18 2013 ∞
mar 3 2013 +
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Don't like -

  • application forms
  • sunny weather after a rain
  • waiting for a long response regarding something urgent
  • telephone calls
  • wearing girly clothes when not in the mood
  • discontinued plans
  • dishonesty

People -

  • who fake accents
  • proud rich bastards
  • ultra-girly, flirty bitches
  • perv guys
  • habitual late people with fail alibis
  • pretentious sons of bitches who act really good and sweet in front of you
  • demanding and know-it-all
  • who like to please everybody (being too n...
nov 5 2010 ∞
aug 13 2015 +
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Thumbs-up

  • clean, grassy parks
  • random (non-congested) malls
  • top of a building
  • beach
  • random streets where I can shop for Asian groceries
  • library

Thumbs-down

  • bars
  • random congested areas
  • stuffy room
nov 3 2010 ∞
jan 6 2012 +
  • serendipitous meetings
  • knowing what the other person is thinking without the need for him to say it
  • mutual feelings in a certain situation without the both of you knowing this at that time
  • saying liberated/vulgar things without the need to say sorry to your friend
  • getting what you exactly wished for
  • planning things and perfectly accomplishing them the way that you want them to happen
mar 13 2013 ∞
mar 14 2013 +
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That means a lot to me.

  • Endured impacted tooth operation #1
  • Endured impacted tooth operation #2. Which is a bit painful compared to the first.
  • Joined a mini-drawing contest in school
  • Graduated CL
  • Matured.. a bit. Like 5% increase in maturity. IDK (but still childish in a lot of ways)
  • Passed that freakin hard pre-employment exam.
  • Won a thousand bucks from that open house drawing contest. Not bad.
  • Not a bum anymore.
jun 1 2011 ∞
mar 10 2012 +