[He is a young Bulgarian man with a heavy accent who likes talking about alcohol, cigarettes and adultery.]

• "Let's say I want to rape my neighbor's wife." - on adultery
• "You gonna be Spiderwoman scaling buildings to clean people's windows?" - on excess community service
• "..dreaming of being a rocket scientist but becoming a store clerk at Target instead." - on crushing childhood dreams
• "Guess what, we're all fighting together against rats and we're losing the fight." - on NYC being infested with rats
• "It was a smashing operation!" - on how his surgery went
• "You could be eating Polish people for breakfast!" - on Nazi Germany
• "I don't want my pleasure to be organized. I don't want it to be sequestered on a vessel in the middle of lake." - on organized pleasure cruises
• "I usually read these stuffs on the train or inebriated at home." - on grading our papers
• "I was passing by and there were some 13 year old kids outside the liquor store asking for my services." - on underage drinking
• "I'm in the jungle and I'm a peacock and I'm gonna show you my Alexander McQueen peacockness." - on survival of the fittest
• "Is any stone I sit on anatomically shaped for my ass?" - on Foot's theory of secondary goodness
• "Imagine reading Kate Moss for Dummies...which is the only Kate Moss we know." - on Kate Moss
• "It's a mess of hormones that thinks it's a person." - on 16 year olds
• "I hear a little twinkling." - on a cell phone ringing in class
• "I was brushing them so hard and fast and happily that I tore my gums." - on brushing his teeth as a child
• "That's the most peculiar garbage bin I've seen." - on the trash can in the corner of the room
• "Ideally I would like the cheaters and plagerizers to die." - on his belief in honesty
• "I will personally slaughter the person who cheats on me." - on if his spouse was to ever cheat on him (after he spent the entire semester talking about the joys of adultery and having sex with his neighbor's wife)