• How it seems like everything you own smells like him.
• Having to change your relationship status on your various social networking sites.
• Having to pack up anything that he left at your place.
• Not being able to listen to certain music because it reminds you of him.
• Having to take down pictures of him.
• Feeling like your bed is much too big instead of the perfect size.
• Crying at the drop of a hat.
• Crying yo...

• I have free membership to a small, shitty gym within walking distance but I choose to drive out of my way to a bigger, better gym.
• Instead of checking out books from the library, borrowing from friends or reading e-books, I still can't give up buying my own copies of books.
• I leave my car windows open while still blasting the air, wasting energy.
• Traveling by airplane. I just can't give up long-dista...

• Your SAT score is nothing to stress over.
• He'll be your best friend after your heart heals.
• Your parents will catch you in your lies 9 times out of 10.
• Going to community college first is actually going to be better in the long run.
• You're going to lose most of your friends if you don't learn to communicate better.
• Your parents are alot easier to talk to than you think.
• Don't speed in the rain. You're g...

• Getting facial hair.
• Not being able to drive myself around.
• Having someone bathe me.
• Being fragile and slow.
• Having someone help me use the bathroom.
• Being put in a nursing home.
• Not being able to have and take care of pets.
• Having my significant other die before me.
• Losing my teeth.
• Wearing pastel jumpsuits and orthropedic shoes.
• My hair turning blue.
• Becoming senile and ornery.
• Losing my eyesight and/or hea...

Yet, we never gave up on her.

• Thrown an unopened soda can at my father.
• Thrown a light bulb at my mother.
• Thrown a rock at and broke a window.
• Smoked pot in her bedroom.
• Snuck strange boys into the basement.
• Used and broke my laptop without my permission.
• Skipped school.
• Thrown a bar stool.
• Threatened to kill her sister.
• Flooded the bathroom.
• Deleted our internet.
• Permanently stained the carpet countless time...

• Melons
• Jugs
• Tatas
• Funbags
• Rack
• Honkers
• Hooters
• The girls
• The twins
• Tits
• Titties
• Hoohas
• Dirty pillows
• Mosquito bites (for all the small breasted women of the world!)
• Knockers
• Boobs
• Headlights

• Riding a segway.
• Wearing a bicycle helmet.
• Riding a moped.
• Bowling shoes.
• Bluetooth headsets.
• Socks with sandals.
• Fisherman's/bucket hats.
• Voting Republican.
• Skorts.
• Popped collars.
• Hawaiin shirts.
• Rolling backpacks.
• Jnco jeans. (Oh, middle school, you cruel mistress.)
• Jeans with no back pockets.
• Goatees.

• Age 7: Peeing my pants during jumping jacks in 2nd grade P.E. and subsequently spending the rest of the day in the nurse trying to dry my pants with paper towels.
• Age 6: Gripping the bars of the balcony of my apartment and pretending I was the daughter in the movie "Hook" on the ship and belting out the song she sings. Then turning around and finding my sister and her friends all watching and laugh...

• My left brake light is out.
• I have an ever-growing crack across my windshield.
• I'm missing a hub-cap.
• My oil light doesn't turn off.
• My floor mats mysteriously disappeared.
• It's just plain dirty.
• Reading 100,000 miles on the odometer is a distant memory.
• My windshield wipers no longer wipe, they just kind of slosh the water from side to side.
• There's anonymous chocolate fingerprints on the roof.
• I have jun...

• Smiling more.
• Saying yes to social invititations.
• Answering my phone.
• Procrastinating school work.
• Being paranoid.
• Worrying about what people think of me.
• Worrying, in general.
• Being more approachable.
• Relating to people my age.
• Doing things that scare me.
• Being a better friend.
• Staying in contact with my grandparents.
• Taking my own advice.
• Letting people get close to me.
• Not expecting the kindness I show other...

• Kissing him at night in my driveway and then looking up and seeing a shooting star, the first shooting star I had ever seen.
• Being told I was the "one who got away."
• Opening my locker in highschool to find a bouquet of roses from him.
• Having homemade mashed potatoes, my favorite food, delivered to me in the middle of the night when I was sick.
• Being told "I love you." for the first time while we were ...

• Astrology & horoscopes.
• Love at first sight.
• Dream analysis.
• Handwriting analysis.
• The products on infomercials.
• Soulmates.
• The Bermuda Triangle.
• Stigmata.
• Tarot cards & palm reading.
• Psychics.
• Miracles.
• That I'm not going to hell because I'm not a Christian.
• Crop circles being made by other worldy beings.
• The paranormal in general.
• Dreamcatchers.
• Karma.
• That an egalitarian society is possible.
• That there is somet...

• Mole on right cheek.
• Red birthmark on upper lip.
• Red heart-shaped birthmark on left forearm (It turns purple when I'm cold, therefore it will probably turn purple when I'm dead).
• Cow-lick on right side of hair part.
• Freckle on left breast.
• Free-hanging earlobes.
• Cherry blossom tree tattoo on right side of back/hip.
• "So it goes." tattoo on left wrist.
• Mole on upper left torso.
• Small indent above left eyebro...

• James Dean.
• Sid Vicious.
• Christopher McCandless.
• Buddy Holly.
• Selena.
• Alexander the Great.
• King Tut.
• Ian Curtis.
• Jean Harlow.
• Jimi Hendrix.
• Tupac.
• Nick Drake.

If I get married, that is.

• Shoes. I plan on being barefooted.
• A veil. I plan on being bareheaded.
• Expensive jewelry. I plan on having a pretty natural look and bodily canvas.
• A pastor. I plan on a non-denominational wedding.
• A church. See above. And also, I plan on an outdoor wedding.
• A cheesy DJ. I plan on a live band.
• Multiple bridesmaids. Less people, less dresses, less money.
• Traditional vows. I plan ...

• An antique lighter from 1948.
• A Pepsi bottle from 1967.
• An amber necklace with a scorpion embedded in it.
• A matchbook from Iraq with pictures of Sadaam Hussein's sons on it.
• A copy of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" well over 100 years old.
• Clarissa Explains It All on DVD.
• A subscription to Archaeology magazine.
• A jar of black sand from Iwo Jima.
• The tooth of a Carcharodon Megalodon (giant prehistoric shark).
• A worry ...

Things that awaken my lazy side:

• Cold, rainy days.
• Movies I haven't seen in ages on television.
• Slow, ambient music.
• Post-holiday dinners.
• My favorite blanket warm from the dryer.
• A significant other that I just want to lay in bed with all day.
• Completion of a mid-term or final exam.
• Completion of a race or particularly hard workout.
• That monthly visit from the scarlet P.

• Poodles don't have fur. They have hair. Which means they don't shed and it continuously grows.
• French bulldogs are a man-made breed. Therefore, they cannot reproduce on their own. They have to be artificially inseminated and often have to have cesarian sections because their hips are not wide enough.
• Poodles were originally bred to be water retrievers. Those funny poof-ball haircuts were actually de...

• Joan of Arc
• Leonardo Da Vinci
• Amelia Earhart
• Hatshepsut
• Christopher McCandless
• Caligula
• Charles Darwin
• J.R.R. Tolkien
• Timothy Treadwell
• Ludwig van Beethoven
• Harry Houdini
• Albert Einstein
• Thomas Jefferson
• Alexander the Great
• Anne Frank
• Adolf Hitler
• Homer

• I'm only speeding because I have to POOP.
• Evolve, damnit!
• My other car is...also a piece of shit.
• Real Men Love Cats.
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
• Pro child, pro family, PRO CHOICE
• Are you having phone sex or do you always drive that way?
• 49% bitch, 51% sweetheart, DON'T PUSH IT.
• Don't make me call my flying monkeys.
• Dissent is the highest form of patriotism.
• Jesus is coming, everybody lo...

• A glass rose accompanied by a letter bashing an ex-boyfriend: in a creek on a golf course near my house.
• A 20 dollar bill: in a bathroom stall at the Hardrock Cafe Orlando.
• A laminated four leaf clover: inside the pages of a library book.
• A turtle shell: on the shore of the Rappahannock River.
• A 1985 Warren Moon Houston Oilers Card: in the middle of the road.
• An antique jade ring: on a playground at th...

Father:

• A temper.
• Impatient.
• Athletic.
• An inexplicable loyalty to the Minnesota Vikings.
• Extremely forgetful.
• Competitive.
• Physically affectionate.
• Compulsive list maker.
• Crude sense of humor.
• The ability to block out physical pain to the point of bodily detriment.
• Hard-worker.
• Determined.
• The desire to eat the entire apple, core and all.
• The inability to remember street names and directions in an area I've liv...