s01, e01 cartman gets an anal probe, ★★★☆☆

• summary: kyle's brother ike gets abducted by these alien mfs and they need to get him back, also title. kinda meh, but it's the first episode of south park, was kind of expecting something more interesting (i dunno why anyways) but hey, it was kind of entertaining to watch
  • THIS IS WHERE THAT DAMN I LIKE TO SINGA PART IS FROM?!?
  • and btw sorry for the lesser notes for like the first and second episode of this, i didn't open listography so you wouldn't get the trademark first reaction notes lawl

s01, e02 weight gain 2000, ★★★☆☆

• summary: cartman makes a """essay""" abt some shit and is awarded the winner, and the person to give cartman his award is a girl from mr. garrison's childhood who beat him in a talent show (i forgot her name), however he plans to kill her, and after circumstances regarding eric and his weight, and how wendy found out he faked it, and also her failed assassination, mr. garrison is put in a mental hospital.
  • also kinda meh, but kind of entertaining too

s01, e03 volcano, ★★☆☆☆

• summary: literally title, but also that the gang go camping and they get caught up with mt. evanson erupting...
  • this episode was kind of mid but hey, there's randyyyyyy... hehhehe he makes me giggle
  • im sorry but why does ned's voicebox sound like that jesus christ IM BURSTING OUT LAUGHING THEY NEED TO GET HIM A BETTER BOX...
    • bro sound like a microwaved version of a rusted robot lmfao
  • RANDY?!?!?!?! anywyas srry im a randy marsh meatrider for lyfe
  • this damn mindblown music when randy shows them the graph sound like its a someone was mashing the buttons on a soundboard

s01, e04 big gay al's big gay boat ride, ★★★☆☆

• summary: the gang have to do a football game but however, stan dog's sparky becomes gay, after some instances of stan being not accepting of his dog, big gay al shows him that being gay is okay, also at the time when his team needed him the most, after he left to find sparky.
  • fuck this british mf i HATE PIP UGLY ASS KID
  • "gay people are violent" homophobic dog meme quite literally
  • "don't be gay spark"
  • gaiety

s01, e05 an elephant makes love to a pig, ★★★★☆

• summary: the gang have to make a genetically engineering animal for class, while stan has to deal with his sister shelly. the boys choose to make a small elephant and go to the genetic engineering ranch to splice kyle's elephant and cartman's pig, however it is not capable, so they go to chef and the.... title happens also the same dude behind the ranch BLOODNAPPED STAN AND MAKE SOME UGLY KING KONG TROGLODYTIAN VERSION OF HIM. that's all
  • bro these bullies got the WORST drip imaginable, also why does one of the children look like pig pen from peanuts? lawl
  • it's time for shelly's slayful era
    • all she had to do was throw clone stan around bro
    • shelly powerscales and solos goku, naruto, ichigo, and SO MUCH MORE
  • he really bloodnapped stan and made that terrifying ass clone bro
  • stan really made a disney princess ass conclusion sentence for him to get thrown around by shelly again... society
  • also sharon

s01, e06 death, ★★★★☆/★★★☆☆ (idk)

• summary: grandpa marsh wants to really fucking die but stan won't kill him, also, after watching kyle along with ike watch terrance and phillip, sheila and the parents of south park go to new york to protest and rally against the airing of it.
  • i too think my grandpa is silly af
  • what did he say
    • WHAT WHAT WHAT
  • he farted right on his head
  • ok sorry for quoting shit from the episode
  • bro grandpa marsh wanna die so badly holy shit
    • just kill him at this point hide the body LEAVE NO traces

s01, e07 pinkeye, ★★★☆☆

• summary: kenny fucking dies by a satellite on halloween and becomes a zombie after worcestershire sauce is used as embalming fluid and infects the whole town. also i didn't open up listography for ep's 7-12 again lal so there's no comments

s01, e08 starvin marvin, N/A

• summary: i couldn't fucking watch this episode because 123movies was acting up srry

s01, e09 mr hankey, the christmas poo, ★★★★☆

• summary: it's christmas day on south park and since kyle is jewish, he feels left out since he can't celebrate it, however he is reminded of mr hankey, which at first everyone calls him crazy but after how boring the christmas show at the elementary due to how "offensive" christmas was, and how chef also knows who mr hankey is, mr hankey makes christmas fun again.

s01, e10 damien, ★★★★☆

• summary: a new kid, damien comes to town and is revealed to be the son of satan. after the boys tell jesus about him being the son of satan, jesus and satan fight to see who wins.

s01, e11 tom's rhinoplasty, ★★★☆☆

• summary: mr garrison gets a rhinoplasty and quits teaching but the substitute teacher, now actual teacher after he quits ms. ellen grabs the eye of the boys, especially stan, wendy attempts to win stan's love back. holy shit wendy is actually batshit insane

s01, e12 mecha-streisand, ★★★★★

• summary: the boys and the class goes arrowhead digging and cartman discovers a mysterious triangle buried there, however tosses it away and kyle picks it up. after hearing about this it is discovered to be the diamond, and sidney poiter, the robert smith(if i can remember), and some other dude fight off mecha-streisand in a kaiju-esque way after barbra steals the triangle from the boys.
  • this is the most stupidest episode... i was so happy that i understood the godzilla reference since my little brother eats UP THOSE stupid godzilla fan comics some furry reads, and also wikizilla. hurrah.

s01, e13 cartman's mom is a dirty slut, ★★★☆☆

• summary: kyle and stan film cartman for mr. mackey, while however cartman tries to figure out his father. the submit it for a home video competition, after cartman tells them he can get the money to do the dna test to find his father, however he loses to a video of kenny being killed.