3:33 ish

• I feel like I;m not a person a lot of the time
• because of everything I've gone through I see myself as sex only or a tool for it and I hate anything that suggests that I am that way
• I feel no connection to sex even though I determine my worth by use
• i dont feel worthy unless im being used whatever
• i dont want to be seen as sexual almsot at all. I dont hate sex I'm just so absurdly indifferent to it that I just dont care
• except for when Im being used or whateverr thats fine I dont care at htis point
• Im like the yesman onf all time Im so good at following that I forget that when im home I have to have an actual personality outside of whoeverIm talking ith
• the only things I know about my personality are based on things that havehappened to me and I hate it but I dont know how to be a person ebcause people hate when I talk or at leasttone operson did so I need to expect the worst all the time because Im so dependent on people who hate me that I am literallly no one at the same time
• I dont care though yeah

3:39