Warning: death themes like ghosts and suicide

I was a ghost, a black teen boy with thick dyed wool clothes. I lived my afterlife in this big mansion with another few ghosts and an old lady we all called grandma.

The old lady and her husband were rich travelers who went all around the world and built this mansion to celebrate their travels and expose every souvenir and treasure they brought back from their adventures. There was a big library at the center of the house, with thousands of books filling the walls from floor to ceiling and all the labyrinthic shelves in the middle. Hanging over the rows of books there were bigger treasures like skeletons of dinosaurs and animals, flags and other similar things. This room had a smaller, round room as its entrance: this had a map of the world drawn on the marble pavement, a giant globe settled between the curved stairs that lead to this room, and rows and rows of curved shelves full of small trinkets and souvenirs hoarded in a lifetime of travels.

Nana was old, but she was so loving. I don't know how long we were haunting her home, but we all loved her and for some reason she loved us. Her husband died years ago, but we took care of her in his absence.

One night afer wandering in the library, i went to look for the other ghosts to chat or to play together with the big globe between the stairs, but i found no one. I did find a guy, silent type, he didn't really like me but we got along, but he disappeared as soon as we locked eyes. I thought it weird, why was everyone avoiding me? So i went to the master bedroom (now nana's room) , small compared to the grandeur of the library, and i found her there, almost done securing a long rope to the end of her bed, making sure it reached and went over the window. She was going to hang herself. I flew to her in a panic, she didn't have to go like this! We could take care of her until her last breath, we wouldn't let her down, never! But she said, smiling a tired and sad smile, that she didn't want to die from old age, she didn't want her corpse lying on that bed until someone found her, if they found her. She couldn't make us look at her, rotting away for who knows how long. It was better like this, dying outside where someone could see her and take her away.

I will myself to become corporeal, as muchas a ghost could get, just so i could hug her and keep her close to me as if this would prevent her from leaving us behind when the time came. She patted my back and walked with wobbly steps down the stairs to the library. I remember putting my hand to her grey hair to feel the thick whooly braids wrapped around her head, i remember thinking 'hold her close now and burn in your mind how she feels in your arms and under your hands so you won't forget her once she's gone. Take it all in now when you can. Burn her in your mind before it's too late.'

As she held me close as we got in the library, i saw one of the other ghosts, a black kid like me but older, maybe in his early 20's, playing with a big reduction compass on the world map on the floor. I told her that in her next life i will teach her how to read maps and use compasses to find her place in the world and know how to move around in it, all the other ghosts will help too! We'll find her and tell her all about the adventures she and her husband went on and she will see how fun it had been and maybe she would travel the world again, but with new eyes and a whole new life ahead of her.

Nana chuckled at my words, i don't know if she did so because she agreed with me or because she wanted me to feel better or find something to look forward to in my afterlife, but i never got to find out as i woke up as i was about to ask.