• 01 — anais nin the diary of anais nin, vol 2: 1934-1939
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

"you are one who knows neither death nor finished things. your discontent is creative restlessness, and not a grouch, it is curiosity. you still expect miracles."

people around me do not change as i do, do not sprout new branches. to come back was like being caught in a circle. i struggle against monotony and repetition.

what i call heaven is when none are suffering. if one suffers, my joy is spoiled.

i get deeply tired because everything touches me, i am never indifferent. indifference or passivity are impossible to me.

we are not yet condemned to live in the subway, but it will come. for the moment we only take it to visit friends. the assaults of reality are more and more violent. it becomes more and more difficult to maintain an individually beautiful or integrated world. i have to kill one dragon a day, to maintain my small world from destruction. unfortunately the dragon of reality is too tough to eat, or we would be saving money spent on steak.

the paradise of my childhood was an invented one, because my childhood was unhappy. it was by acting, pretending, inventing, that i enjoyed myself. reality gave me no joy. gonzalo had no need to invent. there was a mountain of legendary magnificence, lakes of fantastic proportions and depths, extraordinary animals, tales of witchcraft of the indians, drama, and color and excitement, and romance.

in proust himself there was an activity which constantly created unreality: one was hyperanalysis, the other self-doubt. so he spins the unreality from which he suffers. he dissolves life.

i cannot do this. i cannot spend a day with empty friends without a sense of waste. i can't give myself to ordinary people.

"you see, other people are sewn naturally, loosely, with a space between the stitches to breathe. i am sewn so tightly, with so many stitches overlapping, that i suffocate. i think of not one but a million things at once."

"you walk over water. others will be afraid. if they follow you they might drown."

  • 02 — robert musil the confessions of young törless
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

you see, they say the universe is governed by mechanical laws that are unshakable. that's all wrong! that's only what the school-books say! the external world is stubborn, i dare say, and to some extent its so-called laws stand firm, but there have been people who succeeded in bending them to their will.

"everything was all so clear and plain in my head before. but now it's as if my thoughts were like clouds, and when i come to these particular things, it's like a sort of gap you look through into an infinite, indefinable distance. mathematics is probably right. but what is this thing in my head, and what about all the others? don't they feel it at all? how does it look to all of them? or doesn't it look like anything?"

for me the world is full of soundless voices.

'because i was interested in something going on in my own mind, something i don't know much about even now, in spite of everything-something that makes all that i think about the whole thing seem quite unimportant.'

  • 03 — jennifer lynn barnes the inheritance games
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 04 — hannah grace icebreaker
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 05 — tahereh mafi shatter me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 06 — aleksandr solzhenitsyn one day in the life of ivan denisovich
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

“where i come from, they used to say god breaks up the old moon to make stars.” the captain laughed. “what savages! i never heard anything like it! so you believe in god, do you, shukhov?” now shukhov was surprised. “of course i do. how can anybody not believe in god when it thunders?”

  • 07 — jeff kinney diary of a wimpy kid: dog days
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 08 — virginia woolf the waves
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

i do not want, as jinny wants, to be admired. i do not want people, when i come in, to look up with admiration. i want to give, to be given, and solitude in which to unfold my possessions.

what am i? i ask. this? no, i am that. especially now, when i have left a room, and people talking, and the stone flags ring out with my solitary footsteps, and i behold the moon rising, sublimely, indifferently, over the ancient chapel—then it becomes clear that i am not one and simple, but complex and many.

i love with such ferocity that it kills me when the object of my love shows by a phrase that he can escape. he escapes, and i am left clutching at a string that slips in and out among the leaves on the tree-tops. i do not understand phrases.’

i am alone in a hostile world. the human face is hideous. this is to my liking. i want publicity and violence and to be dashed like a stone on the rocks. i like factory chimneys and cranes and lorries. i like the passing of face and face and face, deformed, indifferent. i am sick of prettiness; i am sick of privacy. i ride rough waters and shall sink with no one to save me.

it would have been happier to have been born without a destiny, like susan, like percival, whom i most admire.

i reflect now that the earth is only a pebble flicked off accidentally from the face of the sun and that there is no life anywhere in the abysses of space.

some people go to priests; others to poetry; i to my friends, i to my own heart, i to seek among phrases and fragments something unbroken—i to whom there is not beauty enough in moon or tree; to whom the touch of one person with another is all, yet who cannot grasp even that, who am so imperfect, so weak, so unspeakably lonely.

  • 09 — tahereh mafi destroy me
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 10 — jeff kinney diary of a wimpy kid: the ugly truth
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 11 — jeff kinney diary of a wimpy kid: cabin fever
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 12 — tahereh mafi unravel me
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

"books are easily destroyed. but words will live as long as people can remember them."

"something about the way you hope for things." he shakes his head. "it's so naive that it's oddly endearing. you like to believe people when they speak," he says. "you prefer kindness."

  • 13 — tahereh mafi fracture me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 14 — milan kundera life is elsewhere
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

"we've been neglecting draftsmanship, and that's a mistake. we need to start by getting to know the world as it is before we can go about radically transforming it."

"yes, it's crazy. love is either crazy or it's nothing at all."

a single line of verse or a single paragraph of prose was enough to make him happy, not only because of their beauty but above all because they provided entry into the realm of the elect who knew how to perceive what for others remained hidden.

the more i make love, the more i want to make a revolution. the more i make a revolution, the more i want to make love.

the world of his feelings and dreams, materialized in his poems, often looks turbulent and replaces the actions and adventures that are denied him.

that in the previous society love had been so deformed by concern for money, by social considerations, by prejudices that it could really not be itself but rather a shadow of itself. only the new era, by sweeping away the power of money and the influence of prejudice, would make man fully human and love greater than it had ever been in the past. socialist love poetry is thus the expression of great, liberated emotion.

all revolutionaries love fire.

  • 15 — tahereh mafi ignite me
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

all i can think is how horrible and beautiful it is, that our eyes blur the truth when we can't bear to see it.

and if i do something incredible, he's not even surprised. he expects it.

"water that never moves," i say to him. "it's fine for a little while. you can drink from it and it'll sustain you. but if it sits too long it goes bad. it grows stale. it becomes toxic." i shake my head. "i need waves. i need waterfalls. i want rushing currents."

"there is nothing to fear. nothing to worry about. grieve nothing in this transitory world."

  • 16 — jennifer lynn barnes the hawthorne legacy
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

"i don't know how to ski." grayson appeared in the doorway behind alise. "i'll teach you."

  • 17 — jeffrey eugenides the virgin suicides
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

"obviously, doctor," she said, "you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl."

we felt the imprisonment of being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together ... we knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them.

  • 18 — jennifer lynn barnes the final gambit
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

better is being my friend and my partner and realizing that you don't get to make decisions for me. better is the way you make me see myself as a person who's capable of anything.

"it's times like this, heiress, that i wish i'd fallen in love with a girl who wasn't quite so good at bluffing."

  • 19 — nicholas sparks the notebook
    • ⤹ ★☆☆☆☆
  • 20 — harry potter and the sorcerer's stone
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 21 — m. l. rio if we were villains
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

shakespeare is real, but his characters live in a world of real extremes. they swing from ecstasy to anguish, love to hate, wonder to terror. it's not melodrama, though, they're not exaggerating. every moment is crucial.

  • 22 — tahereh mafi restore me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

i have great fear of drowning in the ocean of my own silence. in the steady thrum that accompanies quiet, my mind is unkind to me. i think too much. i feel, perhaps, far more than i should. it would be only a slight exaggeration to say that my goal in life is to outrun my mind.

it took me a month to read war and peace. in english.

he was sitting very still, looking only at the wall, and listening to what i later discovered was a bob dylan record.

  • 23 — jennifer lynn barnes the brothers hawthorne
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

december 2.

  • 24 — tahereh mafi shadow me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 25 — tahereh mafi defy me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 26 — tahereh mafi reveal me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 27 — tahereh mafi imagine me
    • ⤹ ★☆☆☆☆
  • 28 — tahereh mafi believe me
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

we've been growing toward each other from the opposite sides of the same path since the beginning, haven't we?

  • 29 — paula pimenta a estreia de fani
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

(e olha que estava passando a reprise do último capítulo da primeira temporada de the o.c.)

cd - internacionais atemporais 1. enjoy the silence - depeche mode.

paixões da minha vida (ordem cronológica) andré.

  • 30 — lynn painter better than the movies
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

i think the proper line is 'what are you wearing?'

i grabbed his hand and climbed to my feet, and oh sweet lord, it felt like a mr.-darcy-hand-flex-from-the-best-version-of-pride-&-prejudice moment.

"she's pretty, but her face doesn't transform into sunlight when she talks about music."

  • 31 — paramahansa yogananda scientific healing affirmations
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

it is better to die (if death has to come) with the conviction of being cured than with the consciousness of a mental or bodily ailment being incurable.

  • 32 — barbara pym quartet in autumn
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

but at least it made one realize that life still held infinite possibilities for change.

  • 33 — gaston leroux the phantom of the opera
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

we must get used to everything in this life, even eternity.

  • 34 — william shakespeare a midsummer night's dream
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

love takes the meaning in love's conference.

  • 35 — mona awad all's well
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆
  • 36 — frank wedekind spring's awakening
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

melchior, do you agree that a human being's sense of shame is just a product of his education?

  • 37 — anne carson the beauty of the husband
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

"desire doubled is love and love doubled is madness."

what makes you so strong. he thought about it. lust he said. you mean like vincent van gogh. lust for life. no he said. like a bee.

  • 38 — raymond carver what we talk about when we talk about love
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 39 — kathleen glasgow girl in pieces
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 40 — stephanie garber caraval
    • ⤹ ★★☆☆☆

it is not fate, it is simply the future observing that which we crave the most. every person has the power to change their fate if they are brave enough to fight for what they desire more than anything.

"you're so dramatic, you would have made a fantastic performer."

  • 41 — jane austen northanger abbey
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

the person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

  • 42 — rick riordan the lightning thief
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 43 — clarice lispector a hora da estrela
    • ⤹ ★★★★★

enquanto eu tiver perguntas e não houve resposta continuarei a escrever.

em todo caso o futuro parecia via a ser muito melhor. pelo menos o futuro tinha a vantagem de não ser o presente.

é que só sei ser impossível, não sei mais nada. que é que eu faço para conseguir ser possível?

não esquecer que por enquanto é tempo de morangos.

  • 44 — james baldwin giovanni's room
    • ⤹ ★★★★★

perhaps everybody has a garden of eden, i don't know; but they have scarcely seen their garden before they see the flaming sword. then, perhaps, life only offers the choice of remembering the garden or forgetting it. either, or: it takes strength to remember, it takes another kind of strength to forget, it takes a hero to do both. people who remember court madness through pain, the pain of the perpetually recurring death of their innocence; people who forget court another kind of madness, the madness of the denial of pain and the hatred of innocence; and the world is mostly divided between madmen who remember and madmen who forget. heroes are rare.

"no city is more beautiful than paris."

"if you cannot love me, i will die. before you came i wanted to die, i have told you many times. it is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody."

"fighting will not make you stay. in french we have what is called une séparation de corps, not a divorce, you understand, just a separation. well. we will separate. but i know you belong with me. i believe, i must believe that you will come back."

  • 45 — haruki murakami what i talk about when i talk about running
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

pain is inevitable. suffering is optional.

  • 46 — machado de assis dom casmurro
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆
  • 47 — william shakespeare macbeth
    • ⤹ ★★★★★

angels are bright still, though the brightest fell. though all things foul would wear the brows of grace, yet grace must still look so.

life's but a walking shadow.

  • 48 — anne sexton transformations
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

a woman who loves a woman is forever young.

one-eye, two-eyes, three-eyes.

i write for you. i entertain. but frogs come out of the sky like rain.

  • 49 — lynn painter the do-over
    • ⤹ ★★★★☆

"tell me. what epic ferris bueller shit are we doing first?"

"i remember everything about you, em."

"any girl willing to rip off austen to express her happiness is totally my kind of creeper."

  • 50 — lynn painter betting on you
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

"i eat it all. i just like to eat the cheese and toppings first, then the crust."

i made it about an hour after that, but as soon as they playes "the last time", i had to leave. the entire red release reminded me of charlie, and just hearing it made me think of pine trees and tree-climbing boys.

  • 51 — machado de assis memórias póstumas de brás cubas
    • ⤹ ★☆☆☆☆
  • 52 — marguerite duras hiroshima mon amour
    • ⤹ ★★★☆☆

chance meetings occur everywhere in the world. what is important is what these ordinary meetings lead to.

like you, i too have tried with all my might not to forget. like you, i forgot. like you, i wanted to have an inconsolable memory, a memory of shadows and stone.

i loved blood since i tasted yours.

jan 1 2024 ∞
apr 16 2024 +