• if i could go back in time and relive any part of our times together, i would simply replay the beginnings. we share icecream like children, i tease and poke you while you roll your eyes and pretend to dislike me. when i kissed you and you would still rip yourself away in a sad attempt at distaste. onlookers may shame me but i know you were lonely, i know you had endless thoughts running through your steel-plated mind. how i miss those days of childlike exploration, and yet it was only some small time ago.

• what happened to my taking man? my selfish, authoritative man? you now grovel below me like one of my followers. what has come over you? could you not keep your gruff voice and timid features, could you not contain your power? instead of equality you have put me on the pedestal i have already sat on, and while i should be grateful... i simply miss when we sat on equal ground.

• i've found him. it seems impossible but i have. my stunning man, the one i love. perhaps it's more like i've found many of him, shattered pieces across space and time. my empty heart is swelling with new life, new hope for the future. all i have to do is collect the pieces... and all i need to do is apologize.

• despite the shattering, everything starts to feel normal. i am close to him again, even if it's just pieces of him, and i begin to feel content. all we needed, perhaps, was to talk one-on-one with every individual part of himself. he needs love. i'm here to give it to him. no matter what...

• "i always loved it. even when i was suspicious of you, i did. it was a game... or a dance... you knew the steps as well as i did, steps we'd never performed before."
  • him.

• "someday, we'll live together. i’ll claw your guts every day, the neighbors will be jealous. so pretty beneath me, with your hair splayed out like rivers. so truly the lady of the lakes."
  • him.

✿ .. things i do love about him.

• his tender touch.
• the way he tries to hide his smile.
• how he meets me on my level.
• how much he's grown since his troubled past.
• the way he loves me against all odds.
• his handsome soul.