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“my god, my god, whose performance am I watching? how many people am I? who am I? what is this space between myself and myself?” — fernando pessoa, from the book of disquiet

bookmarks:
a ~ books (braindump)
travel (current daydreams)
notes (favourites 2024)
notes (to craft & create)
moony films (2024)

when the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king what he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he’ll win the whole thing ’fore he enters the ring there’s no body to batter when your mind is your might so when you go solo, you hold you

  • 1. on the bound

all my life is on me now hail the pages turning and the future's on the bound hell don't know my fury

  • 3. limp

you wanna make me sick, you wanna lick my wounds, don't you, baby? you want the badge of honour when you save my hide but you're the one in the way of the day of doom, baby if you need my shame to reclaim your pride

and when i think of it, my fingers turn to fists i never did anything to you, man but no matter what i try, you'll beat me with your bitter lies

  • 4. love ridden

love ridden, i've looked at you with the focus i gave to my birthday candles i've wished on the lidded blue flames under your brow and, baby, i wished for you

nobody sees when you are lyin' in your bed and i wanna crawl in with you but i cry instead i want your warm but it will only make me colder when it's over

no, not "baby" anymore if i need you, i'll just use your simple name only kisses on the cheek from now on and in a little while we'll only have to wave

  • 5. paper bag

i was staring at the sky, just looking for a star to pray on, or wish on, or something like that i was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy whose reality i knew, was a-hopeless to be had

i want him so bad, oh, it kills 'cause i know i'm a mess he don't wanna clean up

hunger hurts, but starving works when it costs too much to love

he said "it's all in your head," and i said, "so's everything" but he didn't get it i thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

  • 7. fast as you can

i let the beast in too soon i don't know how to live without my hand on his throat i fight him always and still oh darling, it's so sweet

i may be soft in your palm but i'll soon grow hungry for a fight and i will not let you win my pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will disprove your faith in man so if you catch me trying to find my way into your heart from under your skin

and i'll be your girl, if you say it's a gift and you give me some more of your drugs yeah, i'll be your pet, if you just tell me it's a gift cause i'm tired of whys, choking on whys just need a little because

  • 8. the way things are

i wouldn't know what to do with another chance if you gave it to me i couldn't take the embrace of a real romance it'd race right through me

i wouldn't know what to say to a gentle voice it'd roll right past me

how can i fight, when we're on the same side? how can i fight beside you?

apr 12 2024 ∞
apr 16 2024 +