- Beat up a hipster the other day
- Illegally downloading music so I can stimulate the economy in different ways
- Deleted ghetto people on facebook so I didn't get frustrated with their lack of common sense which then meant that I didn't have to piss somebody else off with my frustration
- Sent 8,000 texts last month so I didn't use up minutes that my dad would later have to pay for
- Didn't buy a Louisville Slugger to beat people with. Countless lives saved
- Didn't flush for a month, saved 1,000 gallons of water
- Started composting the dead bodies. The flowers are bloomin' this year!
- Ate my dog. Less demand for dog food means less packaging
- Stole people's cars and crashed them, their insurance goes up, economy stimulated.
- Shaved my head, one less angry black chick complaining about how the stylist screwed up her hair.
- All of the above things are fictional, so you can't arrest me.
jun 19 2012 ∞
jun 19 2012 +
