i feel like a stranger to myself
- typology + resources + lots of personal stuff
❀ Sexual 4 description according to Haiki : “This subtype is different from its fellow Fours because they are able to take their Anger on a walk and do so with a strong vehemence and righteousness. We could say that the Four’s normal behavior, crying, is substituted with shouting and violent criticism. While we see the Social Four’s constant shame, we see the Sexual Four as a shameless character. They are very loud and insistent on their demands. »
❀ sx4 from naranjos book : Despite being very creative and talented people, they often fail to carry out their projects. The self-ideal is very strong and low self-esteem is often hidden. They have many dreams and aspire to occupy special places and their thirst to be admired is so great that it is difficult for them to sustain the slightest failure or any obstacle. The difficulty in maintaining discipline and tolerating the necessary path can cause disappointment and feelings of incapacity that are suddenly masked with anger or devaluation also outwardly.
- about jo (from little woman) i relate to her a lot in some aspects
- I think this is the reason why Jo is mistyped as an E8. There is a misconception that anger is a feeling mostly known to enneagram eight, but it is also felt strongly by the sexual four. The difference is that the sexual four will be more connected to suffering, to envy of others, which is why they are so angry, and not out of a sense of injustice. It is a biting anger mixed with a strong emotionality, artistic interests and a need for approval. On the other hand, E8 are angry out of vengeance, and they harshly go after whatever they want at the moment. As a gut type, they follow their instinct in the moment. Sexual four, as a heart type, follow their emotions, and it is a strong sense of shame that bring such emotions.
⁎ “I care more to be loved. I want to be loved.”
Now which type suits more Jo? She is not the vengeful troublemaker. What she looks for most and for all is recognition. She wants to be approved as a great writer; she wants to be remembered and appreciated.
⁎ “No one will forget Jo March.”
This all feels very heart triad, the need to be remembered, to be loved, to be recognized for the self. Her whole arc is centered around love and how she manages it, whether it is with Laurie, her sisters, her mother or even society as a whole. (someones comment from pdb, idk the op)
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The safest thing for 3L is to have a leisurely conversation rather than a debate, where they don't need to strain themselves and therefore there is no reason to hear the offensive "You are a fool, you do not understand anything and cannot explain."
3L are bad speakers. For them, transforming thoughts into words is a double stress: first, it is difficult for them to think clearly, and second, the connection between thought and speech is also somewhat broken for them. Often 3L move away from the main thought, lose it and can no longer return. And all this is accompanied by a painful feeling of failure.
Well developed 3L are wonderful, very interesting interlocutors who are able to consider each phenomenon from a myriad of different sides, find flaws in other people's statements and ask questions that expand the frame of the world of others.
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- sx9
Their anger can be easily sparked if their relationship with the other is threatened, and when this happens they can become surprisingly sassy and outspoken or passive-aggressive. They merge inside relationships They can lack a sense of self May be so focused on meeting the needs of others that they lose track of their own needs Empathetic and emotionally aware Can physically sense what others are going through
feb 1 2025 +