paid jobs only, mind. oldest first.

• telesales officer for ADT. I lasted 2 hours. I called 50 people.
• servant in the foodcourt at Jimmy the Greek. I got through 3 weeks.
• runner at a Lord of the Rings convention. I wore an Eowyn costume. I was powerful.
• kids entertainer. Bouncy castle woo woo woo wwooo... woo. um.... woo. oo
• serving wench at The Wheatsheaf in Tooting Bec. it was a front for an IRA den i wager.
• nanny in south west London. Lord Snowden was her grandmother's lover. I managed two months.
• only english-speaking barperson at The Prince of Wales in Wimbledon. I lived above the pub, there were mice and pigeons and little heating.
• cheery soho coffee maker. that was great, everything was a yellow theme. I was allowed to count the money and everything.
• sad soho coffee maker, Zili coffee bar. Got fired after a week. they made me climb in the fridges to scrub off the milk stains.
• banana. BEST JOB EVER.
• nanny for the Assembly Rooms at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Weird but great.
• flyerer for different people at the Fringe. It meant free shows. many a paper cut, dry mouth.. 2 for 1 comedy? how bout some 2 for 1 comedy? up for it? weyhey i'm a bit of a drama student!!
• receptionist at Riverside Studios. Beautiful but boring. celebrities are good, 6.45am is less good.
• stressed-out real office woman doing the brochure for Assembly for the 07' Ed Fringe, though i cocked up a lot i felt very sophistique.
• poster-putter-upper at Assembly, working on ladders outside in the wind and the rain and the paste and the cold to stick up lots and lots and lots of posters in a way that was beautiful.
• info desk lady at the Fringe. the supper room: turn right, go across the stairs, out the door and right. It's on your left hand side. box office is outside turn right and down the lane. Still, free shows. and i met Kristen Schaal, my confusing crush.
• intern at William Morris. HOLY CRAP champagne at 11am on the 23rd floor.
• crime-fighting cage-wrestling open-heart surgeoning data input clerk at Hall's Bakery near Nailsworth. Please be here for me in my time of need.