- I know i have the raw ability to obliterate my friendships right now
- ooooohhhhhhhh!!!! no!
- i keep forgetting to check in with my other friends
- im trying to learn how to post my art without getting anxiety from sharing it
- it feels selfish sharing my art like a "hey everyone look at me"
- i dont like it when people look at me..
- need to make a diagram explaining my mentality,,
- task paralysis!
- draw > acceptance
- play pizza tower > avoidance
- wait > contemplate
- i wanna know what's fake and real
- i still don't believe im schizophrenic, it's stupid i don't even think that's a thing that could happen
- i gaslit myself into feeling special because william wants to be stalked
- & when people stop to take a good look i regret it but i cant stop it
- theres no point in wanting to change the past, steven just should have known better
- verge of crying but i know better
- gaslighting myself to be sad
- thought controlled by the negative aura accumulated by other 'people' to make me think that there could be something wrong with me.
- i need to be stronger than that
- im not sad right now i dont feel anything
- wake up the next day and see myself out as a fool
- stop fucking acting like this
- william you're being stupid again
- stop it
- you're bringing attention to yourself again that's why they watch you like that
- i need to figure out how to not force myself to feel sad; right now i just feel empty and unmoved
- if i took my own life (not right now but as a possibility) it was because i was bored and didn't know what else i should do
- i cant feel tonight
- & i don't want to talk it out with friends they already have themselves to worry about
- im trying to vent less to my friends because i know there's nothing they can do to help
- im going to be sad on main; still secretive but vaguely open enough to sound like a human person
- [:0^> they dont like my funny pizzahead doodle
- i titled it parmesan cheese; i thibk its really silly
- i have things to work on today
- .^o^.
- i had a dream last night but i cant remember any of it
- i was screaming about a 'pizza tower' sample (it was only popularized by pizza tower but when i make music that's exactly the shit im gonna do
- update couldn't work on the things cause i was playing board games lol
apr 12 2023 ∞
apr 13 2023 +