• deeyah
• 20s
• she/her
• i like anime, korean variety/reality shows and sticker journaling

• yoshioka-san is in a bad mood
• a delinquent girl's first love
• valentine's day and white day
• her special seat
• sakamoto days
• creepy cat
• the story of a cat that has lived for 100 Years
• the day before summer vacation

• smile brush
• smile brush: my old pictures
• cassandra comics
• miki's mini comics
• wheresmybubble (debbie tung)
• my giant nerd boyfriend

I just want to put this list on my main to see what i've accomplished. I often feel like i don't accomplish enough or that my goals aren't big enough but this list is reassuring.

• have internet friends
• learn how to play kalimba
• learn hiphop dancing
• become a cheerleader
• snorkeling
• kayaking
• visit a bird sanctuary
• visit a retro-themed museum exhibition
• sew felt food/flower crafts
• make a terrarium
• crotchet
• learn photoshop
• build a book nook
• paint
• visit an aquarium
• try building mini lego

watching

• doraemon

reading

• six crimson cranes

june

• spending time rewatching movies i love
• reading
• therapy

may

• failed job interviews
• crying at night
• exploring the possibility of studying communication design
• trapped in a comparison loop
• felt unmotivated
• created a self care board, checked a few things off, felt a sense of success
• overthinking, exhausted
• feeling like i'm just going through the motions
• positive self-talk
• did one small thing that shifted the momentum
• finally feeling that joy again from readi...

Hi, i'm gonna slowly share bits and pieces of my lifestory in different places. Sharing it helps me feel less alone. I'm not sharing everything ofc- just the parts that i feel okay to talk about right now.

Lately i've accepted that me and my family are different. Like, i care a lot about emotional connection but they don’t really go there. It’s a lot of small talk and surface-level stuff. You know- weather updates, "what's for lunch" type of conversations.

For a while i kept trying to go deeper with them, but honestly… it’s just not how they are. So i'm learning to connect deeply elsewhere— whether it's with a therapist or with a person who likes connecting deeply as well.

I keep catching myself comparing myself to other people. Like... when someone else gets the attention, the praise, the spotlight, and your brain goes, "what about me? what don't i get that attention too?"

I don’t really know how to stop the feeling from popping up— it just does. But i'm learning not to let it spiral like it did in the past. I allow myself to just sit with that emotion and do body-based practices- like stretching, pilates, walking, running. These practices has helped me release the tension and emotions that get stored in my body before they build up to a breaking point.

For me, stretching has become a way to interrupt negative thought spirals/mental patterns. The moment i sense myself slipping, i move my body- i stretch. I’ve learned that when i hold the emotions in for too long, i eventually crash and i don’t want that anymore. So doing body-based...