2021

O1. 13 days !!; opened my fitbit; swam, got sunburnt, fried chicken and spicy chicken bites with dad; titans binge with mom

O2. 12 days !!; sleepy @ work; life overhaul soon (i think)

O3. 11 days !!; return of my very strange and ugly feeling of not wanting to share again; disappearance of the girl (me); small research into comp het (again) and divine feminine energy; i feel like running why is my heart racing; how will you know if you never try; ♪ summerland; new playlist - tastes like summer heat; i feel so lonely; i want someone to fall in love with me; i wanna get on twitter do bad but ive been so good (1 week !!! without getting on there)

O4. 10 days !!; busy day!!! luncheon. gotta pick up macarons. LOBLOLLY IS SOOO CUTE. luncheon went smoothly!! now i dont wanna work. rock climbing with k. tonight. endless summer playlist

O5. 9 days !! its cold in the office. its always cold in this damn office. im in a cute outfit though. need!!!!! to do a life audit today >:| whatever subgenre of alternative pop ive discovered im loving so much. tastes like summer heat is making me crazy im in love with this music it makes me wanna be in love and be a girlfriend; applications open for an alternative indie pop boyfriend. (write love songs about me) wish i could be a cute little creative with my in home studio. waking up at 9 where the sunlight pours in on me. i work until as late as i want probs 1-2 am, white fluffy duvet… idk. the dream life. i wanna spend moneyyyyyyyyyy. smores ice cream w a. ♡

O6. 8 days !! gonna go climbing tonight again!!! its friday and we got ice cream for the office and im really really looking forward to that. kinda thinking about making a newsletter and making it my lookbooks ??? im not sure. ♪ just a heads up, i think im in love ♪ miiiiiight of gotten mr k in trouble bc we were chatting this morning but cmon mr wa its fridayyyyyyyy (sorry mr k :( )

O7. & 08. worked all weekend! not bad all things considered

O9. 5 days !! i wanna be bad. i wanna dance in the bedroom of my newest fling, laughing and kissing as we listen to tastes like summer heat. want it to feel very movie like. tried orange theory and it kicked my ass but i had a lot of fun w k!!! then i went rock climbing and i BEAT MY PROJECT FINALLY!!!! the incline 5.7 route has been kicking my ass but i FINALLY DID IT AYYYYYY

1O. 4 days !! remember z, youve been off socmed for 12 days now!! youre doing awesome. going back is not worth it. you know that. you can always iso the jafar pin and im sure that it was a mistake on the wha pin acct. REMEMBER THAT YOURE LIVING A BRIGHT AND VIBRANT LIFE OUTSIDE OF TWITTER. THE WORLD DOESNT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. MAIN CHARACTERS ARENT OBSESSED WITH SOCIAL MEDIA. feeling very frazzled and overwhelmed today. i dont want to go to work after this but ah. ill have the rest of the week off. im so hungry man.

11 | UGHSHSHDJSHDKSJD I FEEL LONELY. I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT; nevermind by valley on REPEAT ♪ i have to redo my numbering scheme or else listo puts it in a list and this is a paragraph entry ONLY; i dont wanna do work GOSH. walks away to maintain decorum walks away to maintain decorum walks away walks away walks away. CANT STAND HER SOMETIMES MY GOD ITS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. i dont wanna hear about how my food looks gross its chicken and sauce my GOD KEEPS YOUR RUDE ASS COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. im gonna be fuming about this for a bit ugh.

12 | omg last night was so much fun. climbed w a. l. k. and ax !!!!! i was laughing literally the whole time and im just AHHH IM SO HAPPY IM LOVING LIFE SM!!!! i feel so bright and happy :) this morning tho ive forgotten bad boy in my workout bag so no music </3 ill probs have to sign into my spotify on the computer so i can listen LOL. i think im gonna go out for lunch and go to three fold? im hungryyyyyyyy i wanna eatttttt. but i didnt bring my lunch box bc i plan on going out for lunch. i got panseared dumplings and boba tea for lunch and omg it was literally so good. i went to target to buy a headlamp and cake stuff to make frog cupcakes and they didnt have a headlamp!!! so i just bought cake stuff LOL. anyway. im current trying to cool my cake faster so i can start forming them into cake pops but i literally made the most beautiful cake it tore apart so easily and it crumbled so nicely!!!! idk the logistics of actually eating one of frog balls but its ok i am having fun making them ;D its 10:10 now. will update when i decorate them… but before i go! i want to start a pic a day kinda deal i think! or like an aug photo collection set

13 & 14 & 15. so much to say but im a lil lost in my own thoughts. i want someone to want me. i want to be needed and appreciated too..

15 - 19 journalled physically. some new obsessions.

20 well yes i suppose that if any time is time to put a fitted sheet on the bed it is 0110 in thw morning and for my phone to decide to update at 111. “the art of the fitted sheet- dealing with trouble and an understanding about mothers. night one of parents vacation. interesting

22 - GAHHHH I MISSED THE MOTM ESTER HOWL/SOPHIE V7 AND IM MAD BC I DRAGGED MY FEET ON IT GAH DAMN IT. itll be fine ill just be patient and good and ill get it in the future its FINEEEE. anyway i felt a little lonely this weekend :/ classes start tomorrow and i need to make sure i start off on the right foot and be focused and ready to go for tomorrow. my tummy feels a lil restless but eek. i think im also excited. i dont wanna go to bed yet. im still mad at myself for not getting in my order DAMN IT. i think im only upset bc i watched it go away you know? wahh anyway moving forward a couple of things on my mind: 1. need to make a big ole brain dump and then a subsequent cup list. 2. draft out some passions trials. 3. pare down what socmed and apps i use: write.as, are.na, listo, notion, toyhou.se. what are the uses? what are the functions? do they actually help you? 4. think about the actions it takes. make it happen. ///// guhhh universe please, let me get the stupid pins on my iso im so dumb for being fixated on this. right now the biggest trouble im having is listo vs write.as. i think itll ultimately come down to blogging/publishing vs personal exploration and list making? but right now i kinda use them both? idk. thinking about making write.as more goal and progress oriented w bigger more well thought out things while i use listo to keep track of gritty details-write.as will house reflections and longer edited things while listo is just a catch all kinda deal? notion functions as a store house for other stuff- particularly writing and crafting and potentially digital planning and notetaking? toyhouse is a coding and oc warehouse and just generally fun. are.na fulfils scrolling and moodboards to a degree. // am i really happy? why do i want so much stuff? will those things make me happy? // feeling a teeny bit sad on this sunday night. i kind of want a hug. // i have been considering, semi seriously, deleting twitter and a lot of the more personal info i have about myself online? or at least, making it harder to reach out to me. i dont think im quite as obsessed with the idea of online popularity anymore as i once was, and the way i used twitter in the past isnt really as attractive to me anymore. i honestly just want to create for myself for a while and just have fun documenting and creating and living my dream and ideal self/life. if ppl come then ppl come. its not so much about being someone else its about being me and being happy with that. on the same vein, id really like to do some challenges for myself and really make some changes and do some self discovery