dear jess,

happy birthday dearest! i hope that you have a wonderful day today and make sure to go and get yourself some alcohol now that youre 21. sorry that we cant celebrate together, but i figured i would do what im best at and write to you.

im so glad to have met you back when i was still in missouri with you. im glad for all those late nights we stayed up playing minecraft or talking together and for our streak that we always manage to break. im glad weve been able to make time and i hope that we can continue to make time to see each other every year. im glad to be your best friend and your qpp.

i feel like this isnt cheesy enough so we need to change that.

jess. i love you so much. thank you for everything. thank you for all of the advice youve ever given me. thank you for listening to me and my crazy ramblings and schemes and everything in between. thank you from the bottom of my heart for constantly being there for me.

im glad we exist at this moment in time together. i really wouldnt trade you for the world buddy. i hope you know that. i hope you know how much i cherish and love you, even when we dont talk for days. im thankful for all of the laughter and memories and inside jokes and memes we have together. i cant wait for our next oc night or our next long conversation. i hope it comes sooner rather than later.

i hope that one day, you will be able to see yourself in the way i see you- a strong and inspiring individual. someone who is trustworthy and easy going with a good heart and a good head on their shoulders. someone dependable and goofy, and with a heart of gold that no other rivals. i hope that we can continue to grow together in this world and be friends for a long time. honestly, i dont really hope that. I know that we will most likely be friends until the end of time. you really get me like no one else has (with the exception of rhys but i digress).

i still feel like im not really getting into the things i want to tell you but i guess thats just an indication of how deeply i feel about you. good things take effort and youre worth all my effort honestly.

i wish we could be together. i wish i could give you a huge hug and a huge cake and see your bright smile. im thinking back on all of our memories together and i just. the happiness you bring me. im so glad i have you in my life. im so glad that i can call you my best friend and im so glad that we are able to experience this life together. you really mean so so much to me and im having a hard time really describing it and i feel like i just keep repeating stuff over and over again but MAN. i just really fucking love you and im just. im so glad we are best friends.

like, im thinking back on all the times ive gone to you and you never fail to make me feel better. you never fail to bring a smile to my face or to brighten my day. sure weve been frustrated with each other and sometimes we dont talk for a couple days but really those things dont matter. youre so fucking special to me and youre so close to my heart that i dont want to change a thing about you. i love you regardless of your flaws and faults and i want to do so many things in the future with you. i really cant imagine my life without you buddy. youre my number one and youre someone i care so deeply about. (for some reason, "whatever it takes to see you smile," popped into my head and im like pretty sure its a one direction lyric but idk! its true.)

also this feels like a love letter but ik youre gonna see the feeling in it. idk it kinda feels weird but MAN I LOVE YOU. i love you so fucking much.

im thinking about the time we hummed lazy afternoons together in texas and how we laughed our asses off. im thinking about all our trips to the zoo, all the snap memories we have and that call we had a while back where i stayed up to talk to you. i miss you. i love you.

i hope youre having a good birthday. the world sucks right now but today is your day. dont do your homework and make sure you do stuff u wanna do regardless of what it is. your present is gonna be late but whats new with that am i right. anyway. you mean a lot to me buddy. im glad i have you and cheers to many more. i love you.

yours truly, zoe