5 | 99 days !! been feeling very blue the last couple of days. not sure if its pms, the planets, or myself. hmm. new moon plus pms? probably why im so mopey. anyway. its the kind of vulnerability where i just want to be held and have someone rub my back. cocoon me up in a blanket. probably cry and then pass out for the night. the kind of vulnerability i dont feel i ever get to express. i have such a hard time talking about my feelings sometimes. i feel like i can never share what i want to say. i feel like i can never achieve what i want to achieve. i feel so so lost. i feel so so lousy right now. im afraid no one will ever care for me the way i care about everyone else. i want to be special. i want to be needed. i need them to pull their weight and let me know they want me.

4 | 100 days !! messed up my counter and this entry yesterday. little bummed i lost whatever i had written. :/

3 | 102 days !! no vcc today, kinda liking these fridays off :’) listening to hoodstar+ and WOW SASARAS AND ROSHOS JUST HOLY SHIT I LOVE DOTSUHON SO MUCH I MISS HYPMI!!!!! anyway life as has been busy!! watched some interesting vids that made me realize some stuff and now im cleaning my rooomm wahhhhhhh CUZ ALL I HEAR IS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT IT STARTS TO ME NOTHING WHEN MY HEART IS SHUT. i feel a lil lonely i wanna talk to someone about goal setting and plans and stuff GAHHHH

2 | 103 days !! CHIK FIL A LOST MY ORDERR but its okay it all got worked out! got my student id :0 procrastinated homework in favor of newsletter stuff :’)

1 | 104 days !! first day of september! new hobonichis came out!! i need to look at them. going to try and stay off of socmed all month again. the days i broke my own self imposed challenge made me feel pretty frustrated with myself. having a going away party for miki later on, and i have a cpc chapter meeting tonight! committing to the idea of a newsletter “in public pursuit”! i want to use my hobonichi more…