I saw a deer yesterday

Bleeding in the road

His life coming to a close

A human in the world remains

I wonder if the guilt eats them

|

I saw a girl yesterday

Reaching for her mother

Who pushed her away

And told her no one would love her

I wonder if her heart remains unbroken

|

I met a boy yesterday

He wore glasses to hide

His bloodshot eyes

From the nightmares that plague him

I wonder if he's ever told anyone what he has told me

|

I saw myself yesterday

Tired of the same story on repeat

Of a good man dying

nov 24 2017 ∞
nov 24 2017 +

I take to comfort whispering

Secrets to myself

Knowing I will always

Respond

|

The light conversation

Quickly dies

Once I make my presence

Known

|

Am I really so

Unlovable?

|

An aching heart pleas quietly

Begging for a heart

That finally listens to

Her cry

|

It's a thing that shakes

My very core

To know I'm so

Easily ignored

nov 14 2017 ∞
nov 14 2017 +

Maybe if it slowed down

I'd be able to catch my breath

I can keep up with you yet

Even if I crash in the end

|

And I know you resent the crash

You wonder why my eyes always sag

I never act like I'm feeling bad

But it's festering quietly

|

The voices in my head

Telling me it's all my fault

The unavoidable assault

And I can't speak a word to you

|

I'm afraid you'll forget

I'm human too with needs and healing

I haven't dealt with my feelings

Because of the lock on my lips

|

That I placed there while you slept

Keep all the words never said

nov 14 2017 ∞
nov 14 2017 +

Hello, my name is Skyler.

Female she/her

20 YO

Feel free to comment on this to say hello

nov 14 2017 ∞
nov 15 2017 +

Hello little me

Can you believe we've made it this far?

When we didn't even think we'd

Get to Junior High breathing

|

Hello little me

Can you believe how much we've grown?

When we didn't even think we'd

Ever change

|

Hello little me

Can you believe the path we've taken?

When we didn't even think we

Were ever truly lovable

|

Hello little me

Can you believe how sad you are?

When we didn't even think

It could get any worse

|

Hello little me

Can you believe how much we've done?

jan 17 2018 ∞
jan 17 2018 +

How to soothe a sore throat

Things to do at night near me

How to talk to people

Dream meanings rabbits

Therapists near me

How to make a line chart in excel

Where to get therapy dogs

What to eat with sauteed mushrooms

Whole Foods near me

jan 17 2018 ∞
jan 17 2018 +

How will I ever describe

The raw emotion churning at my core

And how will I ever describe

What purpose beats in my heart

|

Who knows where we'll end up

How can I get in contact with them

I want to know where I'm going

Please, tell me

|

But I'll never receive an answer

And I know it.

Despite this, my chest still cries out

For something. For someone. For action?

|

Why do my thoughts always trail back

To the peaks of mountains

Or the thought of forest floors

Dotted with tears of an emotion we can't comprehend

|

There are no words for this

jan 17 2018 ∞
jan 17 2018 +

Bite your tongue, child!

You know not what you speak

Your breath has never contained this fire

And you do not yet know how

To control it.

|

Eyes closed, breathe

Learn to influence rather than

Demand results. Nurture results,

Only then will flowers grow

In the field you have tarnished.

|

This is a learning experience for you

And it will take time.

The first lesson is to know

What you speak

Can injure many without a bat

Of your eye.

jan 9 2018 ∞
jan 9 2018 +

Safety is a gentle curl of a baby

tucked in it's mother's womb.

It's tangling with your lover

On a winter afternoon

To escape the bite of the cold.

|

Safety is your identity,

The curl of your fingerprint

That could be no one outside of yourself.

No one can impersonate it

Or leave it behind like you.

|

Safety is an artists brush

Curling across the canvas in waves

Etched from something deeper than memories

Something that can't be buried in graves

Something from the soul

jan 8 2018 ∞
jan 8 2018 +

You made yourself of paper

And played with the Big Bad Wolf

And though he loved you with his heart

He tried to keep you away

|

When you asked why

He explained you were delicate

You would fly away on his breath

You made yourself of paper and

Called yourself strong

|

And now you're upset

He finally has someone made of

Steel

To hold tight to his chest

To endure the raging storm in his heart

And now you're upset

He loves her closer than he ever could you

But when you tried to get close

And he blew you into the air

You blamed

jan 8 2018 ∞
jan 8 2018 +

I often dream of stabbing wounds to my stomach, or brittle nails digging against my chest and into my flesh to tear out something that never belonged

But I'm not sure what I'm grabbing for

I often believe I deserve to be locked away, kept uncomfortably in a box three sizes too small for myself to be cramped inside. I want to keep the violent pieces of me from the public

I never wanted to hurt anyone.

I often dream of a hero to come to my aide, someone who will hold me tight until I break into a thousand pieces in their arms

But now I have him

And I often believe my actions are insane, that maybe I'm being driven to a cliff of something crazed where I will drop into the sea and drown in my own thoughts

I am almost always terrified of getting lost

jan 8 2018 ∞
jan 8 2018 +

They'll wonder where I am one day

When my chair at work remains empty

When it should not have been

And the work is not done for them.

|

They'll wonder where I am one day

When rent has gone unpaid

And my laundry is still piled

I'd have been gone for a while

|

They'll wonder where I am one day

When my footsteps don't crunch into

The forest floor

And the trees don't sing anymore

|

They'll wonder where I am one day

When the payments stop coming in

To keep the bills up to date

But, they'll think I'm just lazy and late.

|

They'll wonder where I am one day

jan 5 2018 ∞
jan 5 2018 +

The wind screams her voice hoarse

Hollering at my window

Begging for me to greet her

And allow her to tangle my hair

|

She reminds me of the many

People commanding my attention

Blowing up my cell phone

Leaving voicemails I'll never hear

|

Sometimes I envy the dead

They have no obligations here

The corners of their mouths are not

Tied in forced smiles

|

I stare at my blank paper before me

And convince myself I'll never

Be worth anything

Just like the mountain of mistakes in my trash

|

My friends encourage me I'm trying

jan 4 2018 ∞
jan 4 2018 +

The frail string of my favorite sweater

Was torn, and began to unravel

Today.

|

The soft yarn pulling away

To create a weak spot in the fabrics

A hole.

|

I don't seem to notice until

There is obviously something

Missing.

|

But then,

It is all too late.

|

They have already gone.

jan 3 2018 ∞
jan 4 2018 +

-He always apologizes. We have learned it this way.

-It's always in my chest, a blooming rose there so beautiful to see and so painful to live. Thorns hid beneath my skin, waiting for someone to dare reach close enough only to poison them with a simple prick to their finger.

-Why can't I be normal?

-Why do I reject certain strategies of healing? Maybe I think I deserve it.

-Life is about learning. There's no point in living if you believe you know it ALL.

-Why do I always have to fear something? Only this time, I'm afraid of my own actions rather than the violence of another

-

dec 21 2017 ∞
jan 17 2018 +