i'm fifteen years old (just kidding i'm 16 now) (nope 17) (holy 18???) (wtf i'm 19) (well hello there i am now 20) (EEP!! i'm 21 now) (sorry it's been 3 years apparently?? i'm 24 big yikes) (a big quarter century now)
it's 15 days into the new year and much has happened
because apparently i decided to ruin my life by hurting one of the people i love most in the world
today i spoke to a care partner with a new mental health service
and i'm feeling... hopeful?
hopeful that i can fix my broken brain and fix my broken self and fix the way i love him so i can make us better
i do not wish to be at war with myself anymore
and so i will make the radical decision to better myself
while i could sit in self-pity and hate myself and despise my guts and wish that car would hit me so that i may be absolved of responsibility, i do not deserve that