• A Sociolinguistic Analysis of Epenthesis in Academic Convergence

There were a lot of jobs worse than being partnered with world-renowned Absent-Minded Professor Kim Namjoon, but Professor Kim Seokjin couldn't think of what any of them were at the moment.

• a sugar coated pill and a pick me up

As Namjoon stood slightly removed from the scene, bemusedly watching the six-year-olds swarm around his cooler (which he had borrowed from his mom), he didn’t even notice that someone had sidled up next to him until he heard the tiny, but undoubtedly exasperated, huff.

He followed the sound, turning his head to the right. A guy was standing there, arms crossed, lips pursed. He let out another huff, louder this time, but only slightly.

Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?

One more huff from the guy.

He was beginning to think this guy’s lips were just perpetually pursed and would simply never, ever unpurse themselves, when he, the guy, finally unpursed his lips to speak.

“I just think it’s pretty irresponsible to bring Gatorade to a soccer game for first graders,” he said, huffily, “No offense.”

• Imprints, For the Boys in the Back

Seokjin is not looking for a relationship – he’s been there, done that, lesson learned. So when he somehow ends up in a fuck buddy arrangement with supposed one-night-stand Namjoon, he knows that he needs to handle the fling without emotionally compromising himself. He’s definitely got this! (Dear reader, he did not have it.)

Namjoon dropped the used condom onto the floor – gross – and said, “So, you have issues with sex.”

Seokjin blinked at the virtual stranger whose bed he was in. “What the fuck? No, I don’t.” He processed the words. “Hey! Fuck you!”