- This guy gets on the train while we're stuck at BK Bridge. Doors won't close. He's sittin there kicking and punching it til the conductor fixes it. When the train starts to move, he starts talking to this one girl seated in front of him. Pulls some NY State license plate keychains out of his pocket and tries to give them to her. They say "I <3 YOU" "SWEET" and "SEXY." and keeps saying "I love you....sweet and sexy...." here take em take em! then when we pull up to grand central he goes wild, screaming about obama and how we now have to have a black president on the dollar bill.
- sitting on the train. it's the middle of february. this asian guy in a nylon jogging suit gets on and stands in front of me. his fly is open and penis hanging out!!! you don't feel the draft?
- crazy crackhead on train. i didn't realize it until i sat down next to him. i started to read my book, he asks me what i'm reading what it's about. then asks me to read it to him! then asks for my number!!
- puddle of liquid shit on the R train. no one is sitting over there. people who get on look all happy until they go over and see what's in the seat. guy across from me is dying. "what you see over there?? what's over there?? HAHAHAH!!"
- asshole on bike follows me home and cuts me off on the sidewalk right outside my apartment. whips out his dick and tells me to suck it.
- walking home from the flea market, we are stopped by older black woman who says we should do dna testing on dog poop so that owners who don't pick up can be identified and punished. then goes on to say black people would never leave dog poop on the sidewalk and that she teaches a history class (a REAL history class) and hopes to see us there. what??
- 3 gay emo thugs practicing some dance moves on the platform, then train. train lurches and one of them screams like a girl as he falls into a seat. they get up and keep dancing but also yelling at each other for messing up. hilarious.
- super stormy rainy day. we board the train at w. 4th and one stop later, an old lady gets on. i didn't hear any of the exchange that went on until she shrieked "I SAID NO!!!!!!" at the younger latino guy who offered his seat to her. i started to giggle, then looked at my seatmate. we made eye contact and started DYING. the old lady kept grumbling about getting a/c in the subway stations. she looked like a drowned lhasa apso.
- coming out of grand central on the lex/41st side, there were a lot of people in that little arcade hallway. man in front with a laptop bag. man walking towards us in a yarmulka. they sideswiped, and laptop man's bag accidentally hits yarmulka. yarmulka yells, "hey what the fuck is your problem, asshole!" laptop man doesn't pay attention, he didn't do anything. so yarmulka comes running back and smacks laptop man's bag full force. "what the fuck asshole!" and then runs away. good morning!
- just recently, i woke up on saturday morning to go to the store. i crossed the street at a blinking stop. the lady at the stop light was digging like hell for a deep booger. the light changed as i reached the other side, so i decided to cross over. it must've pissed her off that i wasn't walking right in the crosswalk because she started honking at me. so i turned around and threw up my arms like "what the hell!" so she drives past me and shouts "BEESH! STOOPID AHHHS!!!" uncalled for! i yelled back that i had the walk signal, asshole. what a way to start the weekend.
- this morning on the train there was a guy who had memorized all the announcements and was repeating them, complete w/ door sounds. BING BONG! please stand clear of the moving platform. BING BONG! please keep your belongings in sight. if you see a suspicious person or package please contact an mta employee. BING BONG! and then he even did old train sounds vs. new train sounds. with some sort of instrument. BING BONG!
- best homeless person's sign ever: FUCKED. seen by my friends, not me, sadly.
aug 27 2008 ∞
nov 7 2008 +
