• pretty

i do suppose that at some point you will read this, and i can only hope it's legible, enough for you to understand.

i haven't yet forgiven myself, for what? i'm unsure. i find faults in myself, and i hold these faults at fault for all that has happened to me. for there is no perpetrator, there is no accountability, and its absence manifests as an entity, desperately. clinging onto a dejected self-presence.

my desire to be near you feels like a desperate cry for help. like the sorrowful, guttural sobs of a young child left alone. nothing could come close to my naivety

i choose to keep you in the ever-driven organ between my ribs,

i rely on commas to give me breathing space, if you haven't noticed.

• the craft box + gingerbread house combination (mom)
• capo (fran)
• my purple best friends t-shirt (ayesha)
• hand-stitched guitar strap (maaz)
• pickguard (mik)
• orange amp (harmonix)
• mini orange (mik)

reading:

• norwegian wood
• the diving pool
• before the coffee gets cold

to read:

• kafka on the shore
• crying in hmart
• a little life
• my dark vanessa
• on earth we're briefly gorgeous
• know my name
• the secret history
• notes from the underground
• art heals: how creativity cures the soul
• philosophy of osteopathy
• thinking, fast and slow
• dr. fulford's touch of life: the healing power of the natural life force
• the DO's: osteopathic medicine in america

• write you letters, as many as you are willing to read
• always give you something handmade
• show you the songs that make the gears in my head spin

• skateboard - LEARNING! ty ley for board
• crochet
• play the cello
• be his wife

• when the sun is shining too brightly in your direction and you see everybody put down their car visor mirrors so they can see better