- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
mar 11 2009 ∞
mar 11 2009 +
mar 11 2009 +