A list of everything that will guarantee that I will either avoid in a fic, or make me backspace out of it, or at least roll my eyes at it.

Trigger / content warnings everywhere.

___________________________________________________________________ Hard Nopes (Refuse to read / actively avoid)

• RPF
• Incest
• Non - con
• Abuse = love
• Rape = love
• Underage
• MPreg
• Alpha / Omega, knotting
• Furries or Cloppers
• Anything (cartoons) I watched before I was twelve in adult / sexual situations
• Bodily fluids

___________________________________________________________________ Soft Nopes (Earns a backspace or an eye roll)

• Magic healing cock
• Castiel Milton / Novak
  • Angle, Cordeilia, Zander, Tera, Druscilla
  • No one names their kid Lucifer
• Dirty talk usually embarasses me
• Cas or Dean calling each other "Baby"
• "Lover"
• Spelling errors / hasn't been beta'd / beta'd badly
• RomCom crap
• “Love canal” / channel / tunnel / passage / button / pole / "member" / "Meat stick" / "manhood" / "womanhood" / "glistening folds" / "mound" / "nubbin" / "bud" / "flower" / "her sex"
  • THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE EUPHEMISM FOR A DICK IS DISCO STICK
  • The following are also acceptable: manaconda, sword / staff of Eros, Prince Everhardt of the Netherlands (totally what Gabriel calls his dick), the Cock Ness Monster (what Crowley calls his), Sonic Screwdriver
• "Fucked into"
• "Fisted the sheets"
• "Carded his fingers through his hair"
• Not considering real life implications (high school teacher or professor / student) or potential for abuse of power (boss / employee, slave / owner)
• "Alright", "Alot", "Suddenly"
• Accents written out ("Spoike")
• Awkward positioning. I am spatially challenged.
• Cas being described as skinny and weak
  • Have you seen dem thighs?
• Just about anything to do with mental health / "asylum AUs" unless the author has worked or been involved in the field.
• Coffee shop AUs. Why?
• Most AUs in general
• Past Perfect
  • I think it has to do with "show, don’t tell" and exposition.

________________________________________________________________ Squicks

• Rape
  • "Born Under a Black Sign" may contribute to my distaste for sexytiemSam. He's shown to be sexually aggressive at times and that freaks me out a little.
• Torture
  • Especially when they tortured both Ruby and Meg on show. Naked. (When all the guys got to keep their clothes and it was strongly insinuated that Meg was raped with Ruby's knife in "Caged Heat" WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK)
  • No, season nine, do not have the boys freely torturing even if Dean is slipping.
• Sex work
  • More often than not, exploitative and badly written and involves abuse.
• BDSM
  • Often exploitative and poorly written.
• Abuse, especially child abuse and abuse of power
• Self harm / mutilation / self destructive behaviour
• Self esteem / abandonment issues / BPD (I will read but it may take me some time)
• Parent deaths
  • Why the fuck do I watch this show.
• Car accidents
• Body horror - pulling eyes, teeth, fingernails NOPE
• Insects
• Bodily functions / fluids
• No condoms / dental dams / LUBE
  • HOLY JESUS DO NOT GO IN DRY AN ASSHOLE IS NOT SELF LUBRICATING HOLY SHIT
  • Not just for birth control.
• High school AUs because I feel old and creepy
• Significant age differences