ㅤㅤboy from school —

• i feel sad because regardless of what i do at school, i know i'm not part of the class. and the most annoying thing is that ever since i started trying, it started getting worse.
• i feel like people want to use me, and not knowing what for makes me a little impacient, inferior/powerless. or when i know what for, i can't fight it.
• people can be so bipolar. is not that they do not notice me, is that they remember me as quickly as they forget, or maybe they forget me more often.
• there's a spider the size of my thumb inside this very bedroom and i don't have the guts to kill it.
• no matter how much i fight it, i adore living like a rat, buried in my personal pile of trash/mistakes/unfinished/ongoing *whatever interest i was into back then* and no, i can't have a colored notebook filled with post-it and markers cause that's not me that's not me i dont have control of my brain i cannot fight what i am.