According to mainstream society, that is :)

• I don't wear make-up, really.
  • And beyond a little stroke of mascara, I'm really at a loss for how to apply it.
  • Some days, I do really wish I was better at make-up but I have no patience for it and can't really bring myself to care.
• I cut my fingernails down to the nub and never paint them.
  • I think any employee at a nail salon would be abhorred at the sight of my cuticles.
• Diamonds are not this girls best friend.
  • I have never desired jewelry as a gift. I feel no special attraction to shiny rocks. They mean nothing to me. I always said if I ever got married, I would want a neat, historical old ring with an amber setting with a bug in it or something.
• I dislike shopping and absolutely HATE trying on clothes.
  • I mostly wear my older sister's hand-me-downs and if I buy something myself, I will take the risk of it not fitting and having to return it rather than try it on.
• I have illegible, chicken-scratch handwriting.
• I rarely wear jewelry. I usually put earrings in only to prevent my holes from closing up.
• I love to burp.
• I can eat large quantities of food, extremely fast.
  • Usually resulting in a case of the hiccups.
• I fail at the following hair-related activities:
  • Braiding.
  • Using a curling iron.
  • Teasing.
  • Pretty much anything besides brushing it.
• The come-hither look, hair-flip, lip-pout and all other aspects of the feminine mystique were purposely designed to make me look even more foolish.
• I'm not a huge fan of all things sparkly, shiny and/or pink.
• As a child, I didn't play with Barbies, play "dress up" or "house" or participate in other similar girlish activities.
  • I played indians in the woods or played flashlight tag with the neighborhood boys.
• I like bugs, snakes, bats and other creepy-crawlies.
  • In fact, I have a beetle collection that I have carefully pinned and arranged in a shadow box.
• I spit.
• I trip in high heels.
  • I don't even really own any really high heels.
• I honestly can't give a good, high-pitched horror movie-esque scream. My voice refuses to go that high.
• I've been known to snore.
• I smack and pop my gum loudly. Obnoxiously loud, by some standards. I apologize in advance.
• If I were to see a rat/mouse, I would be more likely to pick it up and make it a pet than jump on a chair and squeal.
• I love playing sports, getting dirty and sweating.
• I'm what some might call a "plain Jane".
  • As evidenced by the above, I don't own much, wear much or generally care about make-up or jewelry.
• I get my hair cut about twice a year.
  • And I've never really been to a proper salon.
• I have not been dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl.
  • Marriage is something that I will welcome if I feel completely certain that it is the right thing for me, but being single or married will not define me as a person or affect how I feel about myself.
• I don't purchase or generally read fashion magazines.
  • They are usually pretty vapid and half-composed of just advertisements anyway.
• Rather than smooth, soft and lotioned-up, my hands and legs usually consist of various cuts and scrapes, scattered with bruises.
• I like to crack my joints. I can crack my knuckles, my knees and my toes and will not hesitate to do so in the presence of others.
• I do not possess the cooking/baking skills that many women seem to.
  • I don't have the patience to gather ingredients and really take the time to prepare a meal. When I'm hungry, I'm hungry and it's easier microwave something.