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According to mainstream society, that is :)

  • I don't wear make-up, really.
    • And beyond a little stroke of mascara, I'm really at a loss for how to apply it.
    • Some days, I do really wish I was better at make-up but I have no patience for it and can't really bring myself to care.
  • I cut my fingernails down to the nub and never paint them.
    • I think any employee at a nail salon would be abhorred at the sight of my cuticles.
  • Diamonds are not this girls best friend.
    • I have never desired jewelry as a gift. I feel no special attraction to shiny rocks. They mean nothing to me. I always said if I ever got married, I would want a neat, historical old ring with an amber setting with a bug in it or something.
  • I dislike shopping and absolutely HATE trying on clothes.
    • I mostly wear my older sister's hand-me-downs and if I buy something myself, I will take the risk of it not fitting and having to return it rather than try it on.
  • I have illegible, chicken-scratch handwriting.
  • I rarely wear jewelry. I usually put earrings in only to prevent my holes from closing up.
  • I love to burp.
  • I can eat large quantities of food, extremely fast.
    • Usually resulting in a case of the hiccups.
  • I fail at the following hair-related activities:
    • Braiding.
    • Using a curling iron.
    • Teasing.
    • Pretty much anything besides brushing it.
  • The come-hither look, hair-flip, lip-pout and all other aspects of the feminine mystique were purposely designed to make me look even more foolish.
  • I'm not a huge fan of all things sparkly, shiny and/or pink.
  • As a child, I didn't play with Barbies, play "dress up" or "house" or participate in other similar girlish activities.
    • I played indians in the woods or played flashlight tag with the neighborhood boys.
  • I like bugs, snakes, bats and other creepy-crawlies.
    • In fact, I have a beetle collection that I have carefully pinned and arranged in a shadow box.
  • I spit.
  • I trip in high heels.
    • I don't even really own any really high heels.
  • I honestly can't give a good, high-pitched horror movie-esque scream. My voice refuses to go that high.
  • I've been known to snore.
  • I smack and pop my gum loudly. Obnoxiously loud, by some standards. I apologize in advance.
  • If I were to see a rat/mouse, I would be more likely to pick it up and make it a pet than jump on a chair and squeal.
  • I love playing sports, getting dirty and sweating.
  • I'm what some might call a "plain Jane".
    • As evidenced by the above, I don't own much, wear much or generally care about make-up or jewelry.
  • I get my hair cut about twice a year.
    • And I've never really been to a proper salon.
  • I have not been dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl.
    • Marriage is something that I will welcome if I feel completely certain that it is the right thing for me, but being single or married will not define me as a person or affect how I feel about myself.
  • I don't purchase or generally read fashion magazines.
    • They are usually pretty vapid and half-composed of just advertisements anyway.
  • Rather than smooth, soft and lotioned-up, my hands and legs usually consist of various cuts and scrapes, scattered with bruises.
  • I like to crack my joints. I can crack my knuckles, my knees and my toes and will not hesitate to do so in the presence of others.
  • I do not possess the cooking/baking skills that many women seem to.
    • I don't have the patience to gather ingredients and really take the time to prepare a meal. When I'm hungry, I'm hungry and it's easier microwave something.
jan 20 2008 ∞
sep 3 2016 +
user picture Mike: Great list. nov 6 2008
user picture Bliss: why thanks!
user picture gnillib: I am exactly the same as your list, with just two or three exeptions. God, I thought I was the only girl in this world who didn't like shopping... jan 25 2009
user picture Bliss: it's awful. i wish i had enough money to hire someone to do it for me!
user picture gnillib: Yep, as I see it, there are three options; either a) getting a crap job where you can wear sweat pants without being seen as weird (you'd still have to buy the sweat pants though), or b) getting a job where you wear some kind of uniform/outfit, or c) get a kick-ass job so that you can afford a personal shopper. I think I'd prefer c), because in the other alternatives you still have to buy clothes for your spare time... And shoes... Ugh, I hate buying shoes! jan 26 2009
user picture the import model: Hear hear to "no make up"! & to burping. & to no diamonds. & to tripping in high heels! (but I daresay, you missed out on playing with Barbie dolls. ha)
user picture Bliss: haha i dunno, i could never really get into dolls!
user picture the import model: ah well, still. haha. btw i'm new at this and i went through almost every list you have up here..i'm incredibly inspired. you've got some creative omg-why-didn't-i-think-of-that ideas. kudos to you :)
user picture Meghann: I hate shopping, have ugly writing, I used to love earrings but now just wear them so the holes don't close and as a child I never wanted to play house or pretend like I was the mommy to some doll. feb 20 2009
user picture Bliss: yeah, i'd much rather be playing in the mud than playing house! feb 21 2009
user picture amycaroline: I completely agree with this list. It's like you've infiltrated my brain and written a bunch of lists for me. jul 30 2011
user picture Lisa: I am the same on a lot of counts according to this list. Makes me feel less alone. Haha. sep 3 2011
user picture Diana Kathrina: you make me want to be your friend. I absolutely like this list! (hello from a stranger) hee jan 6 2012