If I get married, that is!

• Shoes. I plan on being barefooted.
• A veil. I plan on being bareheaded. I find them very old-fashioned. Especially, when women cover their faces coming down the aisle and have their fiance lift it as if she's an object being unwrapped.
• Expensive jewelry. I plan on having a pretty natural look and bodily canvas. I am not into overt and guady displays.
• A pastor. I plan on a non-denominational wedding. There will be no mention of God in my wedding.
• A church. See above. And also, I plan on an outdoor wedding.
• A cheesy DJ. I plan on live musicians.
• Multiple bridesmaids. Less people, less dresses, less money. Also, I don't have many close friends!
• Traditional vows. I plan on writing my own.
• Fancy invitations. I'll get away with email invites if I can.
• Chocolate cake. I will have an angel food wedding cake. No ifs, ands or buts.
  • Also, said cake will not be white and multi-tiered. I wish that old-fashioned notion would go away. Be creative!
• Gift registry. I don't want my guests to have to buy me things. It's supposed to be a celebration of love not commercialism.
• A giant diamond ring. I plan on a simple band. Maybe with some kind of engraving on the inside.
• A limousine. I think they'yre kind of tacky. I'll find a more unique way to arrive and depart. Perhaps horseback or in a cool 50's car.
• A videographer. I think photography is a classier, classic way to preserve memories.
• For my boyfriend to have to ask my father for permission to marry me. So old-fashioned. And it's kind of up to me, not my dad.
• A first dance. We were already the center of attention at the ceremony. I just want everyone to have fun and dance when they please at the party.
• A white dress. Or at least not a traditional, completely white gown. I'd like a pop of color and a unique shape and style to my dress.
• The whole "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" thing. I don't know where that tradition came from but I'll pass. It doesn't seem to add anything to the day.
• The stress. Nothing is or will ever be perfect so there's no need to dwell on every tiny aspect of a wedding. I think I'll be happiest if I let go of expectations and have fun in the moment. I've seen the show "Bridezillas" a few times and those women are pretty insane to me!
• "Here Comes the Bride" playing as I walk down the aisle. Again, too traditional, too played-out. It doesn't mean anything to me. I'm not sure what song I want but it will be something unique of my choosing. Maybe Bach's Cello Suite No. 1?