Edit: I have since moved out of this hole!

• The fact that I can't have pets.
• The fact that I could easily sneak a rabbit, cat or other small mammal in but my roommate would rat me out.
• The rent.
• Having a carpet that who knows how many people's feet touched before mine.
• Having a bathroom that who knows how many people took care of their hygenic needs or did not take care of their of hygenic needs in before me.
• The maintenance man who has loud cell phone arguments in his New York accent and cusses incessantly. He also has a teardrop tattoo on his face so I'm pretty sure he was in prison at some point.
• The fact that I can't paint my walls or put up anything permanent.
• Having roommates.
• More specifically, my roommate who shall be called "Penelope":
  • Her annoying 90's funk music blaring when she gets ready in the morning.
  • The short, ratty nightgown and shower cap she insists on wearing without underwear around the apartment.
  • The odd hours she keeps.
  • Her maniacal laughter when she finds something funny on tv, which is ALL THE TIME. Accompanied by loud hand claps when it's extra funny.
  • The fact that she's a hoarder and can't throw ANYTHING away so the living room is infested with her belongings because her room is too full. Not even kidding.
  • Her ultra-conservativeness.
  • The fact that I can't use the living room because she's made it her second room and sleeps on the couch every night.
  • The fact that she constantly asks me if I want to eat the chicken/steak/lamb etc. that she cooked when I've told her countless times that I'm a vegetarian.
  • The fact that I can't bring a guy over without her scrutinizing and judging me for "shacking up" with someone I'm not married to.
  • She was in some kind of accident when she was younger and it has severely affected her short-term memory, which is unfortunate, but it causes her to forget what food in the fridge is hers and frequently eats things I bought for myself.
• Paper-thin walls mean I can hear:
  • My neighbor's headboard banging against the wall and her loud moans during sex.
  • The tinkle of the neighbors peeing above me.
  • Drunk people gallivanting through the hallways in the wee hours of the morn.
  • My neighbor belting out songs as if she were trying out for American Idol.
• Having to have separate keys for my door and for the parking garage door which is particularly unhandy when my arms are full of groceries.
• The fact that there is a speaker for the doorbell right outside my bedroom door so I can't even pretend that I didn't hear it.
• The extremely loud creaking stairs that let me know the comings and goings of anyone and everyone.
• Walking out my front door to find dried puke splattered everywhere from someones escapades the night before.
• The ear-splitting fire alarm that will go off if I so much as think of lighting a candle.
• The fact the my room is right above the entrance to the parking garage so those extra considerate people with giant bass speakers in their car give my room a good vibrating shake when they drive under.
• The fact that my front door locks automatically when you close it which has caused me to lock myself out on several occasions. Once, in my pajamas, in the rain, at 3AM.
• During holiday breaks when everyone goes home and I stay here because I have to work and it get's incredibly lonely.
• The shitty thermostat and heating/cooling systems. Record temperature inside: 98 degrees Fahrenheit.
• The ghetto refrigerator that has no light with drawers that are cracked and broken and impossible to open.
  • Having the smell of my roommates nasty leftovers permeate into my food as well.
  • Because of my roommates afforementioned short-term memory problem, she often forgets what food she already has and when she goes to the grocery store she buys an unbelievable amount of unnecessary shit and our fridge is BUSTING at the seams. 95% of the food inside is hers, 2.5% is mine and the other 2.5% I allocate to the family of Fraggles who are undoubtedly living in the far recesses of the fridge and feasting regularly.