- I tell everybody, I'm tired of being jerked around. Okay? So let's just not pretend. I don't have fuck for a heart. You people are not going to make me feel anything. You are not going to get to me.
- Nobody's going to trick me into feeling Christlike.
- I'll prove to her I'm not Jesus Christ. Anybody's true nature is bullshit. There is not human soul. Emotion is bullshit. Love is bullshit. And I'm dragging Paige down the hallway.
- We live and we die and anything else is just delusion. It's just passive chick bullshit about feelings and sensitivity. Just made-up subjective emotional crap. There is no soul. There is no God. There's just decisions and disease and death.
- What I am is a dirty, filthy, helpless sexaholic, and I can't change, and I can't stop, and that's all I'll ever be.
- And I'll prove it.
- The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.
- Without access to true chaos, we'll never have true peace.
- Unless everything can get worse, it won't get any better.
- The unreal is more powerful than the real.
- Because nothing is as perfect as you imagine it.
- Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die.
- But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.
- And I say, "Please, dude. Tell me the truth."
- I'm not good and kind and caring or any of that happy horse-shit.
- I'm nothing but a thoughtless, brain-dead, loser dude. That I can live with. This is who I am. Just a puss-pounding, seam-reaming, dog-driving, fucking helpless sex addict asshole, and I can't ever, ever let me myself forget that.
- I say, "Tell me again I'm an insensitive asshole."
- Just keep asking yourself: "What would Jesus NOT do?"
- Never mind.
- What I want is to be needed.
- What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention.
- Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
- It's the same way a drug can be something good and something bad.
- Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it.
- I'm not loved. I'm not a beautiful soul. I'm not a good-natured, giving person. I'm not anybody's savior.
oct 7 2008 ∞
jul 22 2014 +