- Physically my official diagnosis is PCOS, a hormone disorder that messes with pretty much everything. Best treatment would be a full hysterectomy, but I can't afford that or the hormone replacement meds that would come after and since I'm under 50 I can't find a doctor willing to do the procedure for a non life threatening condition because "What if you want to have kids some day?" regardless of how hard PCOS would make that and my repeated insistence that I do not want children.
- I also have a diagnosis of severe tendinitis due to flat feet. In short the tendon that runs along the arch of the feet, behind the ankle and then up the back of the leg is really messed up because my feet are flat and have no cushion. This makes standing, walking, or otherwise being on my feet for an extended period of time extremely painful and 2-3 hours of standing and walking can leave me literally bedridden for 24 hours or more afterwards as standing and walking become too painful. Physical therapy could at least reduce the amount of pain I'm in and let me stand/walk for longer, but it's expensive and I can't afford it.
- And then of course comes the most annoying one; auditory processing disorder. If I'm doing dishes and someone is standing 5 feet behind me speaking at normal volume I cannot understand a word they just said because the sound of clanking dishes and rushing water is closer and therefore 100x louder. I have trouble watching stuff without subtitles, and am often made to feel dumb because I have to ask people to repeat themselves or wait until a noise quiets down to say it again so I can actually understand them.
- Mentally speaking officially I've been diagnosed with severe unipolar suicidal depression, severe general anxiety disorder and severe social anxiety disorder. Fancy speak for my depression doesn't cause mood swings but does cause me to be suicidal and pretty much everything gives me some measure of anxiety and if I get too much anxiety I'm prone to just shutting down completely for hours or even days. A mental breakdown for me means I go nonverbal, and I only type to talk to people if I need to let them know I won't be able to attend an event or otherwise do something I had previously agreed to do because I'm in a breakdown state.
- There are thoughts that I may or may not be ADD/ADHD, OCD, and/or somewhere on the autistic spectrum, but I've never been able to see a therapist long enough to get those officially diagnosed.
dec 5 2019 ∞
dec 7 2019 +
dec 7 2019 +