• I don't do well when someone is on me and when I have to update a lot, also bad with deadlines
• Best when I have a work to present, physical mainly, a write-up, photographs, a portfolio, website, something of that nature to be judged.
• I hate to be judged unless I feel completely prepared and then I welcome it.
• I have a hard time finishing projects, and sometimes getting started up on them after initial stages of excitement.
• To deal with the above bullet point, I suggest to myself the following:
  • Clear head- put on music, straighten desk for 2 minutes, write errant ideas down for later.
  • Set a timer to make a plan- goal broken up into small tasks
  • Set a timer to work on either the first task listed, the task that needs doing first, or the easiest task so can start checking off my to do list
• Think about life like this:
  • Remember how fast time goes? It's been 10 years since graduating college, and 15 since high school. Langley can already talk, basically.
  • So it's best to have my actions led from the future. Obviously living in the now isn't working for me. I'm miserable (kind of) and disappointed with myself and feel badly about it all the time, unless I'm escaping.
  • I can imagine what I'd be like if I had a certain routine that I stuck to for 5 year increments. For instance, if I chewed xylitol gum after eating candy, or if I did push-ups every day.
    • whole foods plant based diet
    • daily dozen
    • intermittent #28dayreset
    • regular exercise
    • regular sleep
    • plan time for fun
    • get better at managing time for work
  • From that I can decide how I want to be, especially now that I'm aging, and decide my daily life from there.
  • Am starting to feel more awoken. Don't want to be foggy and fatigued all the time.

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• New realizations:
  • Need to do bare minimum first, then do extras after (e.g. USACE presentation with intro slides)
  • I feel really good when I set a goal/intention and carry it out, so I need to be vigilent
  • I have to be more active in things I want, such as going to a meditation workshop to distress instead of just writing 'destress' on my to do list.
• Might be better to just start instead of making lists all the time and ... what's that word, deliberating? AKA Just do it.