• 6/28/2012

Back at Millsaps, taking Math, Art, and Geology. Couldn't quite understand the math, although everyone else could. Walter was with me. We went to Art Class, saw Sandra and her two baby boys- one said, "We're sickly." Were going to be late to the next class because we had to get breakfast at the Caf. Candy mountains were built up- some boy put them there as a prank. Drove around to confront him- he said, "I don't know what you're talking about". Many swirls of taffy. I looked at 3 different flavors. Someone said, "He's going to get in big trouble for this." Later, arrived to Geology a little late- Sandra was teaching this too at first, but then turned into Dr. Harris and Dr. Galicki. We were in a cave, looking at formations. He told me to look at a rock that was layered and find the aquifer- a pale blue, waxy layer was wet when fingered. A boy who was with another boy who were both in a grade below me at St. Joseph were asking me about what else could be in an aquifer besides water. I told him any liquids which infiltrated- oil, pesticides. Thought about saying, "syrup" but thought that would discredit it. Then he said, "Even syrup?" and I said, "Yes, syrup mixed with water." Then was distracted- Dr. Galicki and all of us were in a field on the outskirts of campus, digging. Dr. Galicki found something special- asked everyone to crowd around and wanted to know if we knew what it was. I raised my hand and said, "Coprolites" and he said, "Yes, Corprolites...Coprolites." Then I tested out the word under my breath, trying to imitate how he said it. Then we were all excited, carrying back the famous fossils to the building. Some were walking, Dr. Harris was driving. I was on a hand glider, gliding very close to the ground, with the coprolites tied to the bar with string, they swayed back and forth as I glided back to the building. We went along a river, on the other side were hills hacked to bits, all muddy and eroding from the ravaged land. Trees were removed, and we saw a path leading down to the river, and we were all worried, because Dr. Harris and Dr. Galicki were saying that those people were coming to dig up our land and take all our fossils. Frances was there, we talked a bit as we walked back, friendly. Can't remember what it was about. Then I was really very thirsty suddenly, kept trying to drink out of the fountain, but it didn't touch my lips or tongue no matter how hard I tried. Woke up, had to get some water.

• 7/4/2012

Katie Hawkins was pregnant and was getting married. We were all there- including Katie Caskey who was jovial to me, to my surprise. We found out that Katie had been injured by Oz- scratches or bruises along her back and somewhere else. We were trying to convince her she did not have to marry him. As usual, she was upset and trying to do the right thing.

• Old dream from June 2003

Unknown Date in early June 2003

Walter's related to the Coffee family- Ronnie's brother looks like Walter's Dad in a new way. Next chapter, camp site- horror movie, we're in it, but know what will happen because seen it. Go down to campsite with sorority girls, can freeze time with batter on calendar. Ask them to help me, they push me in the Jetta and make me go offroad two times- one becaues of eighteen wheeler.

• Old dream from 2003

June 5 2003

Sheba needs round-the-clock surgery. I know how to help her, but she's very angry- claws blood-red. Towards the end she can understand me. The procedure is very complicated, and on a touch screen. Then our house is under watch, and our house is surrounded by police vehicles and trucker trucks. We get away down luckney road by Henderson, and come upon a village- but it's equated with going left out of my driveway, under the pines at the hill. I find two lizards- but there are tons of them. They are electronic and ways to bug the world. I bring two back to the car. They are so awesome, trust me! We lose them, find them as kittens on the side of a ledge.

• 7/6/2012

Had lots of dreams. First, lots of stuff happened that I can't remember. Julia, Coralie, possibly Walter, and I were going along a highway on foot- kept almost getting run over, so went into the median which was woods and cliffs and things. Then Coralie had a stomach problem,so we stopped at a roadside place, looked for medicine. It was strange and had weird items. Kind of reminded me of some of the Native American stores... anyway, we couldn't find anything, so we were leaving and talking about it. Then we were in an area outside the store that looked like one of the outside covered walkways at St. Joe leading up to the Principal's building. A boy who I was sure I already talked to overheard us and told us to try asking for a certain kind of medicine- had a name, but I can't remember. She went back, I smiled and said, "thank you" and he looked interested. He put out a hand and said, what's your name? Then I realized I had not talked to him before. He was youngish and dark blonde. Then I went back in to help find the medicine. Found a glass bottle with blue pills, got one, and some powder from the crushed meds spilled on a wooden cabinet/table. I brushed it back into the bottle and gave it back to the lady. I don't think I was interested in buying anything, but looked around.

Then I recall going through stairwells somewhere- similar to dorm rooms that were connected, possibly in a castle-ish setting. There were some boys and me and maybe some others? We were running from something- it was dangerous and there were gunshots. (Reminded me somewhat of the Divergent series that I've been reading lately.)

Then some other stuff happened that I can't remember. The dream shifted and I was arriving for Katie Caskey's birthday party... I think. It was at a fancy hotel. We were going up the stairs- Katie Hawkins and I, with Katie Caskey and her Mom leading us up to the reserved room for her party. Maybe I thought it was for her baby shower, not birthday, at any rate, later it shifted into her birthday. So, we got there, and apparently there was a big audience- rows and rows of people, possibly 1000s of people. There was an orchestra/symphony behind us. We were supposed to sing 5 songs. So the band started playing, and we started lining up in front. I was one of the second to start singing- the others were a bit confused. At this point the POV was blurry, scared, like you get when you're on stage. Moving around and the room spins, as we got into position. We had to move closer.

That's when I realized two things: the other folks who arrived to the party were Hawkins, Jennifer Harkins, and some others who I couldn't really tell who they were. And also that they were all dressed up fancy in dresses fit for Christmas Eve. I was just barefoot in my black yoga pants and a dirty light green t-shirt. My hair was down and I was vastly out of place. [Random memory of dream and not sure where it goes- living around somewhere, like a dorm room. On the kitchen table, Katie H.'s diaper cake that I made her was slowly being taken apart as she used the diapers off of it.] I cannot remember what we were singing, but I knew the words. Then Cory B. got there late, dressed fancy too, and stood next to me. We kept singing, then we had to dance - we joined in a circle and danced around the orchestra, I was behind Katie H. We had to move our feet like strange rabbits kicking, and then the music got faster and we were moving very quickly.

As we came around the edge of the stage again, my kicking dance moves got out of hand and I flew over the stage below, rolling and landing unpainfully. The orchestra stopped playing, the girls stopped dancing, and the audience was silent. Then I wanted to laugh, but it looked like crying to the audience. Then someone said something- a commentator, and all eyes were on me. I waved at them and said, "Keep going!" and everyone in the audience started laughing, then the orchestra started back up to finish the song.

I later apologized to Katie about ruining her party and being dressed so awful, basically I told her I was just not right. She came to my old bedroom at my parents' house- like she was walking me home. I told her again how sorry I was. Then I said I had a birthday present for her, and started going through my jewelry boxes looking for something she would like. I couldn't find much, everything was a jumble, and I had multiple jewelry boxes. I was lying and saying I knew I had it here somewhere. I didn't really have anything for her, but I thought I better give her something. Walter, as typical, almost revealed my lie when he kept asking as I furiously went through several jewelry boxes "What did you have for her?" I moved from box to box, but she said she had to go. I said for her to wait just a bit, but when I turned around, she was gone. Then I decided I'd just keep looking and would give it to her later. So, I kept looking. Mostly found old costume jewelry, boring garnet or gold earrings, other styles that were ones I knew she would not like. Found a cross that was ugly. Then decided to move to Coralie and Julia's unused jewelry boxes. They were somehow in my closet, which I just realized Mom had redecorated. Firstly, she took down all my clothes, and put them in boxes. She apparently left me a note. Then on the right side were lots of Julia's clothes and shoes- evident by the vast amount of purple. Then on the right, she hand hung several outfits from Talbots to look just like store displays, and I realized there were not many other clothes. When I looked back up to the left side, I noticed she had had Mark install some wooden cabinets below so that not many clothes could hang- but moments before this is where the plastic tubs full of my clothes were. It didn't phase me, as it never does in dreams. Then I found Julia's jewelry boxes and started looking through them, only to find hardly anything except for glowing necklaces, and other gimmick-y items.

• 7/7/2012

I dreamt several different dreams. In one, I was slathering on the Veet hair removal cream, and removing it only to realize it wasn't working. I'd slather it on again, still to no avail. I couldn't time it right, because I was just using my mind as a timer and in a dream you can't really do that.

I also dreamt about ... I cannot seem to remember. I think I was at a party thing at Beth's house- but it wasn't really her house. She was mad at me for some reason. Baby stuff happened, potluck type stuff. Curbside residency stuff.

• 7/9/12

Lots of disjointed dreams of images and happenings, similar to the night before. Can't remember much. Remember we crashed into a vehicle- Richard and I in the hybrid. The guy got out and was really angry. Because in reality we're traveling to MN for work- driving the long way.

• 5/7/2012

Mom, Julia, Coralie and I traveling in car. Mom sat on Julia's book wet. Got to park- but it was mud flats that were hard to walk in. Captured all our broken, unwanted silver jewelry fr Dad and presented it to him. He had a job where he had to round up silver. Looked happy, becauseit was finally done.

• 5/9/2012

Leika's- had babies getting ready for some party (because thought about her while driving in Denver today?) Also at opera with two kids and Sandra showed up with her babies. Then in my house- but big, amazing house. The kids both turned into cats and were hard to round-up.

• 7/11/2012?

Dreamt about many things- recorded as audio file on white phone.

• 7/18/2012

Dreamt about many things- not sleeping well. Lots of mis-matched songs and dialogue over images. Some real dreams.

Dreamt I was traveling somewhere, but had to get a few files off Richard's desk- for some reason he had all my college notebooks, so I took all of them. Then I was walking to the airport.

I can't remember... I know I was doing something, like flossing or putting on face cream. Something mundane that I do every day.

I have the vague feeling of not being able to remember meeting or talking to lots of people. I think... I was in college again? Or something. I was talking to someone, or showing someone around. I was with someone when I removed my notebooks from Richard's desk.

I tried to think for a while and then finally remembered. I think I was traveling, but can't remember much about that. I had received a letter from Keith Dudhnath, who wrote to tell me his watch that I had given him broke. Even though I didn't give him a watch in real life, and in the dream I didn't recall giving him one, I had only to imagine the look of the watch on his wrist, and I struck the feeling of true recall, as dreams are wont to make you feel. It was a large steel watch. He had included a picture of it broken, because in the letter he said he was disappointed because when the watch face broke, there wasn't even anything exciting or mechanical inside to see. Then I somehow saw a series of the watch on his wrist, as if he were on concrete in a strange area, laying his wrist out, stretching it out and showing along it different watches that were really the same watch, just at different stages of reflecting light, or being broken, can't remember. I was trying to think of something exciting to write back.

• 7/19/2012

Mishmash of dreams again, hard to hold on to it. Was woken several times in the night to actions that made it difficult to remember dreams. Was back in high school? Not sure. But it seems like I was with Cory B. and Joseph Hemleben for some reason. We were talking, and I was in control of something, or in charge of something, making plans.

Also, I was driving with my Dad somewhere at night- he was driving, I in the passenger seat. I was talking to him about something, and slipped into an Australian accent, and then decided to just keep talking in it, so I did, but I was worried he'd think it was stupid, but I didn't look at him the whole time, just concentrated on the road- looked like the MS interstate I-55.

Also, I remember that I was somewhere with Frances, possibly traveling. We were in a house and we were eating some food. She let me have some more of her macaroni and cornbread?

• Sometime in June or July 2012

Had a dream, remembered part of it. I was in a cave or something that was a mall maybe? I was going through a big bin of free stuff- was getting lots of bottles of hair spray.

In another dream, was in a dorm room or hotel room, was with lots of other girls, was in the bathroom going through all the hotel amenities, and was picking all the ones I wanted to keep and putting it in my bag before the other girls got there to take stuff.

• 7/20/2012

Disjointed dreams. Can't remember well. Had one where I had put a rainbow symbol up on a door or something in my office, signifying that I supported gay rights or something, and then the gay lady from across the street at the rental house came over and was trying to hit on me. But she was younger, less fat, less mean, and way more attractive. When I first woke up, I remembered other dreams, but I can't remember those now. The only time I remembered the one about the neighbor was when I was eating breakfast on the couch, and heard yelling from the street. Then it came back to me.

Then, in the middle of working, another flash of a dream came back to me. Rachael Danforth was in my dream- she was not really herself, but really beautiful. And I remembered RHC telling me she had an opperation and looked really pretty. Then I tried to remember if her sister was that pretty, but I couldn't quite picture her. I remember in one part, I was supposed to be looking at something, but looked at her out of the corner of my eye, and she got mad at me or was upset about it.

And I might have been babysitting a young girl- possibly a curly haired girl. There was some job we were doing, but I cannot recall. Now I recall we were moving things... or traveling. Or setting something up.

• 7/21/2012

Long, strange and scary dream. Involved Katie's family and some event. Walking single-file to a car, going inside. I was spending the night. I was looked down upon a bit. Guilty. Had to go back out to get my bag, Mrs. Hawkins came with me. All Katie's family was there except Patti- just Debbie and her family.

There was a scene where folks were trying to get rid of the devil. It was horrible. It was crowded, and there was the devil- I watched it close up as someone destroyed it, it was rotting and falling apart in front of me. The man who destroyed it was reading from a book, and had to bite the devil's face. I recall a cat being the devil later, and I threw some things to make it leave.

I recall later talking to Rebich- was packing up some work, and he came to talk to me about the other work I had to do. I kept talking to him about how scary the devil scene was, and just kept focusing on how horrible it must have been to bite the devil's rotting face.

There was also a dream with Keith in it- it was like home movies films of him with his new family, only I thought of myself as really young, and him as really old. He almost looked middle-aged. He was really weird-looking, and kept making weird hand signals, like thumbs up and stuff.

Also I remember I was part of the scene to get rid of the devil. We had orders. I can't remember much about it.

• 7/23/2012

Dreamt finally long, plot-laden dreams. At home at my parents house- with Mom, Julia, and Coralie. We were looking at Tigerlily, but only up close, and like, as if we were looking through her skin, and could see lots of wriggling tiny worms. We were talking to Mom about how they were parasites and needed to be taken care of, but she said it wasn't a big deal. Julia was upset. Coralie wanted to press matters further.

Then, inexplicably, there were a few young folks in our house with us. We were all joking around and decided to go get some breakfast from a restaurant. I don’t remember who they were- I know I’ve never met them before. There was a young man who was Hispanic, a young white male with dark brown hair, and possibly some stubble or a bit of a beard (who I remember being very attracted to), and some girls, I believe. We talked for a little while. Then we were deciding where to go for breakfast, and Coralie said she wanted to go to like 5 different places, including McDonald’s and Burger King.

We were traveling in separate cars from the young folks. I told Mom Coralie always wanted to do complicated smorgasbords, and she nodded. Then we went to Burger King. Only it was not a Burger King- it was an amazingly large restaurant with a huge breakfast buffet. I found the options a bit worthless. First we ordered, and I didn’t see anything I wanted, so I went to get more food at the buffet. I remember finding some blueberry pancakes, getting some, and then there was a sloppy mess of chocolate pancake bake- a man was getting some and there was an awkward typical buffet moment while you wait on someone and try to be polite.

Then I realized the blueberries I got earlier were now also chocolate chips, and I was striving to find something healthier to eat. I got some blueberries, then on my way back to our table, I took a circuitous route which I did not take before. It led me outside to a pavilion where there was a jungle setting- hanging gardens, etc. There was an older couple who had caught a parrot- and I saw in the jungle stream that was very turbid and full of plats, there were two baby parrots in the water- a very small one and a somewhat larger one, though still small and newly hatched.

I tried to save the birds, but the man told me they were already dead. Upon studying the birds, the little one did look dead, but the larger one looked like it was still struggling, and every so often it would bring its beak out for some air. Still, I believed the man and left it, strangely. I’d never do that in real life. I’d just grab them both out to be sure. I took my tray of food back to the table, and apologized for getting more, said I just needed a big breakfast these days. Mom said it was Ok, and I planned to try to pay for it myself, knowing she’d want to pay. Then somehow the two young fellows worked at the restaurant we were at. I talked to the Hispanic one about something- can’t remember what. Maybe about the birds.

A young girl who worked there was asking about what to feed the parrots. Another lady was stirring up some sugar water and was filling a hummingbird feeder- a red typical one. The girl asked me what to feed them, and I said although I’m a scientist, I’m not a biologist, but that I’d feed them with lots of flowers, and alpaca fur. I don’t know where I got that from, but I think someone else mentioned it before I did. I was in the kitchen at this point- just passing through. Then I talked again to the attractive boy, I believe. I don’t know where we were.

Possible influences: Western Sizzlin’ from MN trip, Discussion of 7 Ancient Wonders of the World (Hanging Gardens), Hunter’s diseases.

• 7/24/2012

Dreamt I was at some institution with a few folks. Lauren Spann was there, as were Joe Sweeney and Kevin from Millsaps. Kevin and I talked- caught up in a friendly but not really real way. Kevin asked Joe if he were gay, but he used a different word, don't know it- sounds like I made it up.

We were in these strange contraptions, like roller coaster cars, side-by-side. I was with Lauren, and the boys were in their car. We were talking, and I was looking at some toothbrushes I had gotten for free- a 2 pack that had flavored bristles. One was mint-flavored, the other was a weird name that started with an "S". Like... Spirus or something. I asked what the heck flavor that was, and Joe happened to have a bottle of the same flavor in a small mouthwash bottle. He passed it over. I took some into the cap and swished with it for a very long time. We couldn't see each other. I tried spitting it out gracefully and passed it back, making some comment about it, trying to be funny and cool. I remember no one cared or responded back. The flavor was like... that yellowish brown mouthwash that my grandfather used to use. It was spicy, stingy like mouthwash often is, alcohol was probably the main ingredient. It was also kind of sweet. Kind of had a fluoride taste too- or is it a tang? I can't remember fully.

I remember we also went to a restaurant. Maybe it was like a dorm cafeteria.

There was a section of the dream in which a drill sargent made us do all these moves, and then do a choreographed dance. I was doing them all right, but she didn't pay attention to me. She didn't like me, though I was a slacker.

There seemed to be a scene in my car with Julia, at night, parked at Millsaps- like in front of Bacot. But I can't remember.

I remember having to wake and be somewhere at certain times. I don't remember much else. I just know it was strange.

The feeling I got, was that I was trying to be cool and fit in, and that it wasn't working. I was enjoying my time with Lauren.

• Unknown date, earlier in 2012

I had a dream where my family (Dad was driving, Mom in back with me, Coralie and Julia in front) were driving in the new Camry that my Dad bought. We went to turn on a bridge, which was really thin, and looked like a railroad bridge across a big river. But there was a slow Kangaroo hopping across it, and instead of slowing or stopping so we wouldn't run it over, Dad jerks the wheel and we go over the side. Mom and I held hands and screamed.

I thought I'd wake up as every single dream I've ever had where I was falling (even once when I was on a skateboard on a curb) I had woken up. Like the time my family and I were driving the grey suburban across a canal in a city, only there was no bridge, but a big log. The suburban fell off and as we fell, I woke.

But I did not wake up. I just felt a major jolt as we hit the lake, and got out and started swimming. There were some Native Americans who were after us- in Comanche garb- so we had to swim to the bridge and hide under it.

• Some random remembered dreams from long ago

Slapping a 3-year-old Dustin from St. Richards. He was in our back seat.

Catching a boy who was trying to harass Julia- at St. Richards.

Mossy cave

School lockers and hallways

Thrift stores- looking for toys, ponies

Cave-like place, bathrooms

• 7/25/2012

Can't remember many dreams. Know that at one point Smokey had walked up to the side air conditioner at my parents house, with a small, Siamese kitten on his backside, hitching a ride. Smokey took the kitten in his mouth and dropped him on the air conditioner. I reached out the window and grabbed the kitten, who was scared and bitten and injured, and was growling, biting and trying to get away. I kept holding on and took him inside to a small, white bathroom that was kind of grubby. I fed and watered him.

It seemed like there was something going on. Like a group of people together in a building unit, planning something, or waiting for something to happen. Seems like I've had a lot of group dreams lately, where I'm in a group and we're planning something, or waiting for something to happen. Strange.

• 7/26/2012

Couldn't remember dreams until went outside to fill Smokey's water bowl. Used the hose, and as soon as I turned the spigot, I remembered my dreams!

There is more to it than this, but this is what I can remember.

I was at home with Walter, but we weren't really home- in a cabin in the woods. I saw our neighbor's house start to smoke on the edge outside. I thought "Oh no, it's catching fire, but oh well. I don't really care, they're bad people anyway." Then I realized how fast it was catching and that it could spread to ours, so I grabbed our hose, turned it on, called to Walt. I started to put the fire out. It worked at first, but then I saw the inside was blazing. That's when I realized our house was on fire too, so I went back to my house to put the fire out.

For some reason, it was huge, a boarded up, old cabin that we were not supposed to go into, even though it was our house. Julia was suddenly there with us, and we were scurrying up into ductwork to put the fire out- it was only inside the house for some reason. We came to a wooden crate blocking the way, Julia looked behind, said it wasn't safe. We turned left at a fork in the duct, and put the fire out there, then we turned around. I was afraid we'd lose our way, but I realized we could just follow the hose.

Then I wanted to go past the wooden crate, they told me not to, but we had to. I hoped the hose would reach- it did. We came upon a big forum, with lots of creatures- humanoids, I never actually saw them, just knew they were there and that they would not welcome us. I tried to spray the fire out, but it seemed an impossible task with a small garden hose.

Dream shifted. I was in Minneapolis, possibly. Michelle Phan was giving her fans a tour of her apartment, which I've actually never seen before. She had moved, and it was empty, but she wanted to have a party for her fans there. As she showed the empty apartment, I somehow was able to imagine where all the pieces of furniture went, even though now I realized none of it ever existed. I especially remember the foyer through the doorway, there was a mirror, an orchid, and some kind of blue tile work.

Then we were there- the fans. We were in the apartment, at the party. We were about to watch a movie. Julia was with me, but she got sick and wanted to go back to our hotel- see we were staying at a hotel within walking distance. I walked her to the door. I asked if she remembered how to get there. She looked uncertain but not like she didn't know. I told her verbally- mostly the taking a right thing. However, that hallway was set-up just like the ductwork in my previous dream. I said "hang on, I'll take you there." I went back inside to get my purse and to tell a girl there that I was going to be right back.

When I got outside, she was gone. I worried for a moment, then I was in a car with Dad, Mom, and Coralie, headed back to the hotel or something. I all of a sudden remembered that I should be worried about Julia, and really hoped that when we got there she'd be there.

• Years ago. Maybe 2006 or 2007.

I dreamt that I was on my period. When I looked at what came out of me, it was a small, undeveloped fetus. Like... the size of a nickel. I got really sad thinking about my dead baby.

I think another time I may have dreamt that I was pregnant and looked in the mirror and was surprised at my belly size.

• 7/27/2012

Dreamt lots of dreams, but not very long ones, I don't think.

Hard to remember. I know in one I was putting on makeup- I had a powder compact with three different colors, and was trying out contouring my cheeks with the darker shade.

In another I was worried because I got to work to film Mike's reaction to the birthday surprise in his office, but it was empty! I then was so confused and said, "I'm so confused" and felt woozy and like I couldn't see good or stand up straight. His sister and brother and Richard were across the hall in Jeannie's cubicle, they had moved the decorations over there because they thought they could get a better angle.

More stuff happened, I just have to remember what. Maybe something to do with a cat... or a gathering of people.

• 7/28/2012

Dreamt many things. Remember certain parts. For instance, was on my street with David Burt and someone else. We were working. Hand Drive was really long, and kind of abandoned- on the part where the hill is and the artist's house, and the field. I did something to make David B. mad at me, and we were not going to continue to be friends. I felt bad.

Walking on Hand Drive by my house, said hello to the neighbor- Mr. Perkins. He was doing yard work, and was very overweight and sweaty. I walked down, and started to do some things by the big pine tree. I remember, Coralie gave me several things. I started to play with the board game, on the street. Then began to gather it all up. There were lots of game pieces, it was previously used. The pieces were many, the box old and crumbly, and many pieces were worn or broken. There were plastic coins- see through and shattered. Then, Daisy, Mom,and Dad walked up in the grass. I continued putting it up. Then, Mom spotted a $50 bill, and told me to give it to her. I noticed it, thought it was awesome, and picked it up. It was an old bill. Then Daisy said, "Give it to me" but Mom said no, give it to me. Then I gave it to her. Found a few crumpled $1s and gave them to Daisy. Went back, found a $5, gave it to Daisy. Then, found some odd ones, like a $9 bill and gave it to my Dad. Then found a few tens, gave them to Daisy.

Back at my parents' house, I was walking around. Mom was feeding Beth's baby- who incidentally was a younger girl baby, and was for some reason dressed in a snowflake candle holder. She thought she was so cute. I was going through the fridge for some food. Then, Sarah and Alex and Aunt Beauvais were there. Sarah had a toddler girl, with blonde curls, who was running around. She was hungry, I tried to give her some meat, but Mom said that it was for Beth's baby. Then I got some carrots- 3- asked Sarah if I could feed them to her daughter. She said yes. I dropped them, found two, gave the orange one to the toddler. Then, fed her the whiter, drier carrot.

Before all that, I was in a rice field working on a project for Richard Rebich. I had to strip the rice leaves (which were not at all like rice leaves, but more like flexible palm fronds) and I had to make a waterfall type shape for a film or something- maybe a photo. We were discussing it. He asked if I knew there were also white rice leaves, and I told him I had just found out about them about 3 days ago, and was really excited about them.

• 7/29/2012

Lots and lots of dreams, trying to remember them all so I can record them.

Not sure the order, but here's what happened:

Was in a shop with Coralie and Mom. They kept trying to buy these plush G1 ponies for me, but I told them I didn't like plush ones and didn't want them. It was 3 plush- but they were not stuffed, they were empty and had to be sewed back together. It was G1 Diamond Dreams and 2 of the same pink pony I didn't know who it was. The shopkeeper said we could have all three for one particular price, or get Diamond Dreams for $10, and she'd throw in the other two for free. Coralie opted for that choice, despite my pleas for her not to waste her money on it.

Then was filming with a flip camera or something a pile of ponies. Was showing the string that held in their tails- only it wasn't what really is like. Instead of a washer and such, it was a flat, clear plastic twine. And I showed them a wad of replicate twine, but wanted to show them the real stuff. Searched through my ponies until I found the one I knew I'd find- a pony with a bit of the twine poking out of the tail. Don't have one of those in real life, but can't remember. Was mainly looking at my childhood ponies. The one that had the twine sticking out in the dream was Erica, or MGR Sparkle.

As I filmed her twine tail, I saw something else. I saw a curled up tail inside her body. Then, It was as if I was not filming anymore, looking at her chest which had a latch. Inside I realized I had placed all sorts of her accessories, so I opened her up and took out her baby- who was a ballerina pony instead of a MGR- they didn't make baby MGRs. Then found out that was my childhood one, and I had bought two others- two because they had different coloring on the tutus. Mismatched. Now had three, only my childhood one had very frizzy hair!

Other parts of dream were this: In a compound with religious nuts. Was with someone- pile of trash looking for things. We were cold. We found a wrapped up dead baby. There was like... a TV announcer or something saying how sad that was. I began to unwrap the bundle. The baby was dead, but I rubbed it just like in 101 Dalmations to bring it back to life. Rubbed it until it warmed up, and then became alive. I passed it to the mother. The alarm went off at the compound- saying, "A blooming occured, a bloom forever, a bloom forever." or something like that. A blooming was when a baby was born. Apparently it was bad to have a birth in the cult, or maybe even in that world.

Other parts of dream, I was on the phone and the girl on the other end (reminded me of Jessica Sawicki) said I'd never believe who was on the back cover of a magazine. I said who, then all of a sudden had the magazine in my hand, turned it over. She immediately began laughing, I didn't realize who ti was, but started laughing too to cover that up. There was a lady on there, with a name titled like, "Iso" or something. I realized finally that it was one of the Russian princesses (out of twins or triplets, or the royal family) who had undergone a sex change to be male. I mentioned to the girl on the phone that she still liked mascara and lipstick.

Then I was outside at a parade, lined up with Richard Coupe and possibly other workers. The Russian prince was there next to us. The parade was over, but she/he seemed upset and was gesturing towards it. There were a few vendors still going by, the opposite way back to their shops. Very fast! I saw a donut one with tons of donuts still there for the taking. I began running after it. I was gaining, but someone shouted at me that I'd never make it. Ran anyway, and as I was catching up, another vendor with donuts out started shaking his head at me and waving me back like he wasn't going to give me any of his donuts. Then I was so surprised that I paused, and by then it was too late to catch the other cart with the donuts.

But, then I dreamed that I was daydreaming, and that I did catch up to the guy with the bagged donuts. I dreamt that I pretended to know him, gave him a hug and a kiss, said it's been forever, how are you? Do you mind if I take a few bags of these donuts back to my friends? I then grabbed 3 bags, gave him another hug, and ran off. Instead of the daydream ended, it became real. I got back to the folks, gave Richard a bag, myself a bag, and one bag to the Russian prince. I showed him they were tasty by biting into one, he then started to eat.

Also dreamt that I was experiencing a spy mission- Michael Westin had to help some evil guy. He cleaned the pools, but then had to wait until they looked a little dirty, because the guy coming to meet them wouldn't belive that they'd clean their pools.

Also, had dream that I was riding a bike in the rain to work on a major freeway, but not many were around. When I got stopped by a cop, I realized I lost my USGS hat and light blue marmot rainjacket to the wind. I reported them lost and kept on my way, imagining circling back to pick them up, but it was 9 am and I was already late to work. Then for some reason had to babysit these two boys- who were about 10, until noon. Decided to take them to the Museum of Natural Science. Julia was there, as she was a guide. There was also a swimming pool, we went out to that, which overlooked some nice scene like in Miami.Then I found them a few goggles and snorkles and stuff and was putting on sunscreen on them. Put the spray kind on Julia's face, then put the lotion kind on her body, but got way too much and it wouldn't rub in. I had to slick some off with my hands. Then this other kid showed up at the pool.

• 7/31/2012

Dreams remembered. Traveling with Mike and Allen. Planning to get breakfast at hotel. Made joke about bringing tupperware so we could also pack a lunch. Big breakfast buffet, grabbed a bowl of oatmeal- tested it and it was really good! Looked at the name of the packet, started with an I, like Iso. Was grubbing around for a few other things, put a packet of chocolate pretzel snacks on my plate. Almost grabbed some almonds and dried fruit, but had that in my oatmeal anyway. Was searching for milk, but couldn't find it anywhere. Asked a lady, and she was British. I almost couldn't understand her, but realized she said to check with the barista. But those weren't free, for sale so gave up.

Later I was playing some songs in a weird way- well, one song really. I don't know if it was a guitar or a violin, but I was looking at it from the opposite direction, and was not strumming, but hitting the strings, above and below the bridge. I was playing for someone or some folks. Can't remember. Then, I was inexplicably in a big bed with Fiona from Burn Notice. We were talking and laughing. I can't remember about what. Then I picked up her keys and made a joke about how she could play Iron Man, the song, for Michael Westin on her little key with a string on it. It was a joke because she hated that song and he always made her listen to it, but she didn't think it was funny. Then I put her keys back. I was looking through all the little things there on the top of the bed headboard, and found some tomato-red nail polish by L'Oreal that my Mom was raving about. It had two little metal tomatoes on the front. I was thinking about putting it on my toes, held it near them, then my Mom came in. We were in her bedroom.

She was dressed in shorts and I told her how much I liked the color. She said she loved it too, but that when she bought it, the sales lady was rude and told her you have to tan your knees when you wear it. She did an imitation of the grump, and it was funny. She looked very skinny and frail. She said in a pinched voice, "You really need to tan your knees, especially when you wear that." And I can't remember what else happened then.

Way before in the middle of the night, I was dreaming about a body who needed a shot of this or that because it was forming improperly.

Also remember dream. I was at work- but it was pretty dark. I think Marcia was in my office and we were visiting. David S. came back to work after he left for Florida- it was Monday. He was supposed to be moving, but he came in to do some stuff on his computer. He was extra short, extra bald, and had lost lots of weight so he was a major shrimp. He came in my office and asked what two codes were- he was going to be doing some things in qwdata on nwis. I wrote them down for him in red pen on a piece of white lined paper. I handed it to him instead of answering. I can't remember what the codes were...

EWI? GH?

One was the volume of water I think, or something. The other was something about what sampler we used maybe? Either way, they were things we didn't normally record. I told him that he shouldn't imput them because we don't record them and half of them will be wrong. I was stern with him, he just turned around and laughed his annoying laugh when you're trying to scold him.

Then I found out from Richard that he failed at his other job and begged for a job here again. I found out and was really mad, but Richard said we couldn't do anything about it. I was thinking to myself how Mike would be really angry when he found out Schueller had acess to qwdata.

• 8/1/2012

Horrible nightmares. Dreamt on a beach with Walter, friends, etc. Lots of people there. A giant came and started terrorizing everyone- he knocked down a building (it was only 3 rooms thick, and I joked that it was such bad architecture that you could poke through it with a sword). Not a very funny joke, but everyone laughed. I think Jeremiah was there too, but I can't remember the other friends very well. I was alone, trying to retrieve a cat- maybe Geneva or Pinky- in a building close to where the Giant was. I went over there because he started heading the other way. I saw him being attacked by dogs, but it didn't do any good- he picked one of the dogs up, a large poodleish one. He made like he was going to eat it alive. Everyone was yelling, "no no no!" I covered my face. He said, "OK" and I looked up, just as he dropped the dog from on high. It landed very hard on its legs. I thought it was dead at first, but it got up, bleeding at the mouth, looking confused.

I was making my way through one building with my cat- it was really dilapidated. He then changed his mind and began to tear down my building, and something separated me from my cat. Then I was down and he caught me. I had to make like I liked him and had to kiss his horrible face. Then I was down and was looking at Pinkerton, who had been injured by the giant. He was laying on a towel, his tail was ravaged, as if he had been held up by the tail- the skin was torn off, the muscle and bone a bloody, sinewy mass. I wanted to pick him up, but knew I couldn't.

Everyone on the beach was being herded. It turned out he had henchmen- more giants, but they were smaller than him. I found Geneva and Lance, and on the beach, a bit inland, I found some scrub brush. I placed a towel underneath, and put them in the little thicket. I told them to stay, that they'd be safe there.

Then we were all herded up somewhere. I think I was separated from everyone. I was like... turned into Fiona for a little while. I was in a boat I think, called the giant, and pretended as if I was his girlfriend and asked if he left me. I asked where his family was getting through to our world, he said, "Nice try" and got his henchmen to blow up the bridge we were near. We almost died and drowned.

Then the fellow and I were traveling in stealth, we were tracking the giants and their herd of humans. They took them to a train station, and we said, "A train station?" and sounded really ominous, for some reason. (Now thinking about it, it reminds me of the holocaust.) Then I was alone, in a building- it was a medical facility, on extreme lockdown. I was afraid I'd be found out. I kept picking up phones to call Walter to get back to him, but they didn't work. I can't remember if I actually dialed his real number or not. I tried one phone, then found another off the hook and glowing. Then I realized that the giants were taking over the whole world, not just our area.

I was trying to find a way out of the facility, but was trapped. There were soldier training. They were grabbing guns, I tried to walk away nonchalantly. Then I filed in with a group of civilian-dressed soldiers. I had to do a strange march which involved weird arm movements, and doubling back and interspersing in the line. I was terrified I'd be found out. I never was.

Then I got to the train station where everyone was located. The giants were ambling around eating folks, and feeding them food. Whoever ate the food would be eaten. Lots of folks were so hungry, they agreed to eat a little food, just so they could have some before they died. I think the giant got progressively bigger throughout the dream- at one point he was so big he was holding like, ten people in one hand, but they were all jumbled together, holding on to each other so they wouldn't fall.

I somehow made my way to where Walter was. The henchmen were spraying people with high-powered water guns. I was hiding behind one guy so I wouldn't get sprayed, but they said whoever is acting like a coward and hiding, they will spray, so I sat normally in my seat. Then, they kept spraying me, my face, my feet, my body. It was painful, and really terrifying.

Somehow we ended up in an outside amphitheater, and I was separated from Walt again. Somehow, I had the remote control and was watching either Lost of Burn Notice. I accidentally skipped to a section with dinosaurs chasing the folks, and realized I went to far and other folks wouldn't know what happened. Walter said something from the middle of the crowd about the show, and I found him. I climbed over folks to get to him, and sat next to him, even though it was a squeezed fit and I was sitting too close to the boy next to me. I gave Walt the remote.

Then Walt and I broke away from the people, and went for the woods. We were going to escape and warn people so they could come help us. But if we got out of the woods, the giants would see us. I had to coax Walter back into the woods because he was too close to the road, where folks were driving by, looking out their windows at us. We got in the dark woods, and found a sort of radio transmitter for emergencies. Walt hit the right button, but I realized the giants might be able to track where we were. We had to get on the move, and sure enough, we heard them over the radio saying our location, and sent two henchmen after us.

We were trying to escape, but we were in a building and there was no place to hide, and they were coming for us.

One of the most terrifying dreams I've had in a while. The weirdest thing about dreams is you don't really realize it's a dream, you're not part of the creation, but you're inside of it, like you created yourself. But then, you'll have certain times where you'll think to yourself something, and then your dream mind will take it and say, "hey, good idea, I'll incorporate that" and the next thing you know, your fleeting dream thought has become part of the dream.

Such as happened when we called for help on the radio. I just worried that they'd track us, only to find out that immediately they could.

• 8/2/2012

Dreamt I was at camp- it was kind of like a christian church camp thing for 12-18 year-olds. I was in it, and I had been in it a few years before, so had Julia, but she wasn't this time. When asked why, I said she was at Zoo Camp, or maybe Camp Wild. I can't remember.

We had two teams, and had to stay locked up in a facility for a certain amount of hours- and you could come and go only for certain reasons. I was with a girl, we left, and were coming back in, but had to run because they were locking the door. There was a time when a flash went off, we realized we were being filmed. We started looking for the camera in the rafters above us- dusty,scary place. Didn't find it? Lots of different things that looked like cameras.

There were other activities- we had to go through a facility, get our things (books, other things- I read the cover of a few books, and the bookmark within, that was like a library receipt, which had the title of the book and the name of the patron. I picked up 3 books, read them all, and gave them to the appropriate owner- Olivia something... Olivia Smoot?

Then we had to tour a book facility, and buy from just that little bookstore. We had to go downstairs, I stopped to grab a few magazines on gardening (one was gardening to make it look like the ancient greeks- and had plants grown into the shapes of columns, arches, and other greek architecture). I grabbed like 4 magazines, and one was on healthy eating I think? Or maybe on literature? I read the titles of the magazines, but I can't remember what they were. A girl asked what magazines I got- I think it was supposed to be like she was Sophia from high school.

We continued on to a room, where we had to watch a film. I sat by a younger boy, who I think might have been William from Youtube's Kid's React. I can't remember what the video was, at first I was really far behind, but I had a fine shot of the video. Then Micky was there for some reason- and I thought him seeing me at church camp would make him like me more.

Then we had to do activities... me and two other girls were late and were called by our counselor lady. It was swimming on a boogie board, then swimming back regularly, and some other task. We were the last because the others started. And I remember a young girl had to give me a shot as I ran, I was scared she'd do it wrong.

I left a bag in one of the counselor's cars. I lied about being 18, because I didn't know you had to be 12-18, my Mom enrolled me and I guess they didn't check.

I think I also remember Michael Lefoldt being there. And we talked, but I remember nothing beyond that.

• 8/3/2012

Dreamt that at work Richard told me in his office in the dark that MDEQ said if I don't have the coverages and their names and numbers by Monday, they're cutting my funding. I said, "I know" but I didn't, and got really nervous. Also, for some reason Amy Hurley was there, and we were going to take her to lunch for some reason. Richard made spaghetti and salad, we were in the lab getting it all ready. However, she came in to my office to tell me she was going to lunch with Katie Hawkins and her Mom and maybe Caskey. I got worried but didn't say anything about our lunch, and said, OK... was nervous.

At one point I was at someone's house- maybe Theil... Matt Theil. His parents were there we were in their house and in their backyard. Something was going on. I can't remember what. They looked kind of weird.

Then I had traveled down to Hattiesburg to some kind of zoo musical exhibit with Amy and friends. Coralie was there, she was really upset to see me because she said I never come to see her, but here I was for this. I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't hear it. I watched part of the musical, then later, stuck around to look at the animals. I think one animal tried to attack us... can't remember what it was or how we dealt with it.

• 8/4/2012

Had dreams about being somewhere. Mom and Coralie and I made pottery, I went to pick mine up from the store- the molded ones were cheap. I told Cor and Mom about it, we went to get theirs, but weren't there. Then we stopped by the pottery studio, but the lady said she didn't have them. THere was something mysterious going on.

I had to help Mom move her bed to the den, but it was a bunk-bead and it was hard. She pushed the top one off and I caught it and dragged it downstairs to the den and was resituating everything- there was no tv.

Then we were visiting a boy who was a cousin our ours, but he didn't like us much or something was wrong. He was sandy blonde hair with a soft face, boyish but humble. Can't remember his name... but I knew what it was.

Then we were at Cousin Beauvais' daughters place. Think her name was Rachael. Can't be sure. We were in an orchard, she was upset. Told us some things about Walter Raleigh too.

Also, had long dreams, can't remember much.

One sex scene with Keith? Can't remember much about it, but it was good.

There was more stuff going on, but I cannot remember.

• 8/5/2012

Dreams from 8/5/12 Sunday

Hotel sharing with grumpy skinny lady with two little kids. Change the TV channel because I thought she'd think I was a pervert. Talked about how we couldn't believe all those common items that people buy from the store have so much something... some kind of chemical. Was it....nitrate? Then Cor knocked on the door and came in. She was really hyper and I thought the lady would get annoyed. She brought an aluminum can- empty. The littlest girl started playing with it in the bathroom. She fell down and started to spin on her face several times in a cirlcle. I stopped her and picked her up, told her she was ok. She had cut her finger on the aluminum can.

Then Brad Pitt was in a white shirt, he was evil, we were trying to catch him. I was a man, outside, waiting for him to meet with someone- his accomplice. He saw me, so he knew to be careful. He almost got away, but we set up something, and someone died, so three cops were praying by a wall and a dumpster. A skinny drug lady was supposed to help us catch him, and we had a helicopter. Can't remember...

• 8/6/2012

Lots of weird bits of dreams- did not sleep well.

Put on sample of nude liquid foundation- in front of mirror. Looked horrible! Mom was there, felt critical.

Keith sent me a video he took on his phone of him in a car, driving by a cab with his Mom, and two brothers. They waved.

Then I was basically staring at a fabric pattern with bamboo and the Mom was talking about how much she liked her flower.

• 8/7/2012

Had dream that I was in a house with Coralie and Julia. Mom came to visit us. Weird neighborhood, or maybe Walter.

There was a new neighbor, or maybe we were the new neighbors. I think it was them. A lady, plump, long blond hair, 50s. Nice. Introduced ourselves. She had a very strange animal in her yard tied up. Coralie kept saying it was a baby donkey, but it looked more like a yak or something.... it was enormous and kind of scary.

We had a party? Maybe... I was in the bathroom and Cory B. came in- she was playing a gig with a band- she and I caught up and decided to go out on the town. I was supposed to ask Mom if I could, and there was some weird stuff. Then she told me while tying her shoes not to invite my sisters because she didn't want to bring her sister.

We went on the town doing things we used to do, visiting places we used to. At one point we were in a building with nothing but a stairwell. It was just a bunch of time magazine photos pasted to the wall, but it was supposed to be a museum. Then at the very top, a guy had left a sandwich on which he had sliced his testes and he wanted his exgirlfriend to eat it because he was very mad at her. She took one bite. He also had cancer, a newscaster was interviewing him and apparently he had testicular cancer, and now that his girlfriend ate a bite, she has cancer too.

Weird!!! Can't remember all scenes. Very interesting.

• 8/8/2012

Dreamt was with Coralie and Julia, and maybe Mom too. We were driving. Can't remember. I think we were visiting someone in a neighborhood. Julia, Coralie and I stayed in the car. Mom was dropping something off, like a present to a lady.

Dreamt I was at work- in the lab we had a snack machine. When you buy one snack, you open the door, like a newspaper vending machine. I started taking a bunch of snacks, chips, cookies, chocolate popcorns.

Also, dreamt I was at home, in the bathroom with Lance, was looking in the mirror that was broken and I thought I threw it away. So real, I had to check to see if I kept the mirror when I woke up. Also, dreamt I got up in the middle of the night, went outside to the cats, to feed or check on them. Realized when I really woke up in the middle of the night, that it was a dream.

• 8/9/2012

Can't remember.

• 8/10/2012

Dreamt lots of things. Transferring things to new, slim wallet.

Driving up to drop off Julia or someone at Church- St. R, but not St. R. Mickey was there, watching us for some reason, judging us. It was raining, it was the Camry- the old one. I had an umbrella and was arguing with Mom about who would drive and park and who would go in. I was trying to get her to let me park so she could go in. But she won, even though when I lost, I got in the Camry and drove off. I had to park very far away and it took like 10 minutes to walk to church, by the time we got there it was over. Julia had gotten in a fight with some little kid. I kept asking her about it, how it happened. She said the kid kept touching her with sticky hands. There was also a toy involved. We all walked back to the car.

We got to some place to eat breakfast, kind of like a rest stop, mixed with a hotel free breakfast. I was getting free stuff- like pens, wet wipes, lotion samples, heating pads, and then there was this little thing you could spray with oils that when you cooked them, they turned into buns and pastries. I made a set, while Mom and the others got other things to eat. I accidentally almost took another woman's spray pastries, then put it back and got mine.

• 8/11/2012

Lots of dreams.

Around 5 am dreamt that I was at school again. Was in the library walking through. Saw Cari Trudeau and she was her high school self, with the short hair. I hugged her we talked about how good it was to see each other, then I had to keep going, to get to class. I walked in, feeling really cool. It was one of those dream walks, where it's pretty hard to control. You're kind of bouncing and anyway, I walked down the first aisle of desks, at the end was William from youtube's Kids React. He watched me, I continued on, felt him watching me as I chose a desk in the middle at the back. Then, I remembered I had forgotten my backpack, so went out to search for it, couldn't find it, so came back in with the same weird dream walk. Threw my pen down, said, "where is my backpack" to myself, exasperated and then went back out again in search. I think I finally found it in the library near where I was talking to Cari. Don't remember much else. The cats woke me up.

Then, I was at Katie's and we were getting ready for her wedding. I think we were at her parent's house... only it wasn't really there, it was in some strange place similar to North Carolina- it had lots of rocks, mica, exposed soils, a lake. I can't remember exactly what we were doing to get ready for her wedding. I think part of it we were in her bedroom, and then for some reason it started to focus on me. We went outside and Katie's Mom gave me some soil collection tubes that her geologist late husband had, but her late husband wasn't really a geologist- although Nicole's granny's was. The tubes had many parts. There was a regular tube, with a quarter-inch slit in the side, where you stick the soil in, then you put it into a bigger tube and cap it. There was also a tiny red worm inside the smaller tube, and it was all pre-weighed so that you could do bulk density and things. We began collecting samples, while Katie's Mom oversaw. She and I were scouting around the yard, looking for good soils to sample. Suddenly, she had two little cousins who were helping us- nice, but rough little boys of about 8. The first sample I tried to take, I accidentally let the worm out, and was trying to get it back in, but it was squirming something horrible, and was getting soil stuck to it. Katie's Mom mentioned that it would ruin bulk density, so I tried to wash him off, but he got away.

I remember the tub with the tubes- there were only 6 or so, and they were pre-weighed so we had to keep our tops and outer tubes separate so we knew whose was whose. Then I stepped out on the veranda, to see a snail shell with a snail having been pulled out. It was very strange looking. It looked like .... really creepy. the first part was a normal snail, then he had three fat, slimy legs and a very long, segmented tail. I think as I looked I had a flash of a much larger, scarier version. Then the boy squished the shell and I told him how horrible he was. That he pulled out the snail and then crushed his home, only to leave him to suffer and die. He didn't get it.

Then Katie and I were collecting soil samples, looking under bushes, revealing chunks of micas and sands mixed with ground mica, we were avoiding plant beds because I didn't want to test non-local soils, and was afraid topsoil may have been added to the beds.

Then we were stopped by some authority figures- I think MDEQ or MSU who were expecting some soil analyses, and were wondering why I started on these- I tried to explain that it was just her late husband's and we were just testing it out.

Then we were back inside, and I was saying goodbye. Was trying to tell her how much she meant to me, thanking her for everything, started crying. There were lots of ladies there, it was so decorated and large and party-ish and almost christmas-y.

Can't remember the transition, or if there was one. However, I was at a cabin in the woods. Walked into a crowd, similar to my cool dream-walk into the classroom earlier that night. Radiohead were coming to play!!! We went up to the ceiling to see them arrive. Lots of vehicles, for their families were with them too. Lots of folks were protected from prying eyes by wearing suits of armor or other large whole-body costumes. Then Thom actually spoke to us on the roof, in a welcoming way. Can't remember what he said. Don't remember the show, although I do remember following Thom's car... it was a silver SUV. Then I followed Colin's car, which was a black SUV and he had many family members inside. I decided to turn off before he realized I was following him, but he turned off and parked next to me too. I took out my checkbook to pretend I was preoccupied, but he unrolled his window, and indicated for me to do the same. He asked if I saw his father, I said no.

Then I asked what he looked like, and where he expected him to be. Colin came with me in my car in search of him. We were driving around, I looked out and said, "Is this where you expected him to go?" Earlier he pointed in strange directions of where he thought he'd be, very far off, and kind of scary- didn't know if I'd be able to find them. We were driving along a river. I saw a short, stooped man with shaggy black hair, and another one beyond. We stopped and got out- the stooped one was his father. He was kindly. The other was a body guard.

His father said some things to me, don't remember. Then we were back, I was invited to family supper or tea since I helped. There were so many family members! I was sitting at a table with some cousins. A little baby was drinking sample-size cups of lemonade. He wanted more, he wanted ale. I took the cup up to ask Colin if he could have some ale. Don't remember what happened.

There was one time when I was in bed with a laptop of the family, watching them somehow. Not proud of this next bit, but I planned on masturbating to watching Colin. Like, laying facedown, with a pillow under me. Then next thing I remember, I was going to a cabin with Colin. We were breaking in, I mentioned breaking a window to be dramatic, but he said basically no, it's LA we'd be in the public eye. So we went in a window a'top a doorway. When I was going in, there I was ahead of myself, climbing on the top of the bunkbead. So I became a voyer of myself, and but I wasn't the one I was watching - it was someone else more beautiful. Then Colin moved the bunk beds closer to the wall so he could climb up. That's all I remember.

• 8/12/2012

Dreams moved to google docs because they were too long.