• Marist Women's Basketball
• The Poughkeepsie Journal dedicating an entire section of the newspaper to Marist Women's Basketball
• people taking a video of you when you think they're taking a photo, and you're standing there posing like a dipshit
• journal-entry Facebook statuses
• minute-to-minute Facebook status updates
• the saying, "this too shall pass"
• ke$ha's 15 minutes
• being told not to do something
• feeling bad for inanimate objects
• the new pop caps on Tropicana Orange Juice
• American Idol, America's Got Talent, Dancing With the Stars, America's Best Dance Crew, Survivor, The Bachelor/ette, and the rest of the reality TV competitions
• Lost
• Grey's Anatomy
• CSI:(any location)/David Caruso's stupid facial expressions
• every show currently on the Disney Channel
• Miley Cyrus
• all members of the Kardashian family
• TWILIGHT
• Robert Pattinson
• the time it takes to sign up for anything online and/or provide my shipping/billing information
• girls who think treating their boyfriends like shit deems them "independent" or "free spirited"
• Mara Wilson's voice
• writing in blue ink
• when people say I need to eat more
• Lindsay Lohan, obviously
• Brad Pitt looking like a homeless person for the past 3 years
• Jennifer Aniston's love life
• Heidi and Spencer
• the feeling of your parents being mad at you
• Lady GaGa
• people using the word "bestie" to describe their best friend
• the color purple
• The Color Purple
• Extreme Home Makeover
• groupies
• peas
• bologna
• sugar-free anything
• 2% milk
• bias cut shirts
• bubble dresses
• destroyed denim
• trucker hats
• Dennis Farina being the voice of Unsolved Mysteries. just because Robert Stack died, doesn't mean they shouldn't still use his voice
• sore throats
• kitten heels
• girls, and straight men that call wine vino
• small hands
• goatees
• crew cuts
• phone conversations
• customer service
• action movies
• having to repeat myself
• winter
• people putting candies in decorative bowls on their desks or living rooms tables... for the sake of it being DECORATIVE. WHY WOULD YOU JUST LET CANDY SIT AROUND LIKE THAT
• hearing people moving stuff around or walking around downstairs and not knowing what they're doing
• anxiety attacks
• over-plucked eyebrows
• T-9 word not recognizing the word "fuck"
• medications
• parents that don't discipline their children
• children
• not seeing my brother nearly enough
• alarm clock sounds
• people not knowing how to take a compliment
• loud people
• flip-flops (especially Old Navy type ones)
• the feeling when you have to force yourself to stay awake
• guidos/guidettes
• the sound of cellphone typing
• the universal online trend of tpying "U" instead of "YOU" what's the argument against typing the two extra letters...?
• the word "ya'll"
• those drawstring-strap backpacks
• crowded places
• unoriginal hipsters
• being interrupted or talked over
• clothes getting ruined in the laundry
• religious zealots
• dressing rooms with only one hook
• girls taking pictures of just their lower half when on the beach
• unnecessarily fast drivers
• anyone that pronounces "supposedly" as "supposebly" IT'S A "D"...
• WHEN PEOPLE USE "OF" INSTEAD OF "HAVE" IN A SENTENCE. ex: "I should OF paid attention in English class."
• that God damn Little Orphan Annie
• anyone wearing sunglasses indoors
• slow walkers
• receding hairlines
• gay abbreviations like "totes", "sesh", or people typing out regular words phonetically, casually conversational, like leaving "g"s off the ends of all "-ing"

words.

• when people don't say "Thank you" for a service or courtesy I've just provided them
• when people get mad at me for being late for something... but that's probably because I have been late for pretty much everything I've ever done in my life
• not really knowing where to direct eye contact on the subway
• school buses
• sitting in a chair that's warm after someone just sat in it
• tongue rings
• people that use big words in conversation strictly to prove intelligence
• driving past a hitchhiker/homeless person
• people equating swearing with being unintelligent
• stray hairs, and when I can feel them on my skin, and not knowing the proper etiquette for getting rid of them. Is it or is it not acceptable to discard them on the floor?
• people talking on their cellphone in a quiet place
• dogs that head for your crotch
• spitting
• people that to to dress and act like a hippie because it's "trendy"
• girls that never leave the house without makeup or perfectly styling their hair
• UGG moccasins or any other kind of moccasin (male OR female)
• people trying to teach me stuff when I already know it
• naive/gullible people
• people using their children as a Facebook photo
• watching people flirt
• other people wearing my shoes
• Ed Hardy and anything resembling it
• hearing "shut up" because my mom always hated for us to say "shut up"
• people driving less than or equal to the speed limit
• the occasional unsuspecting fatty/chewy part of meat
• people being arrogant about "not watching TV"
• people talking during movies
• designer children's clothing
• when peoplee add extraa letterss to everyy wordd theyy typpee
• *tYpiNgG LyKe DiS* 0mGzS LoLz (goes without saying)
• dripping faucets
• girls that don't like to mess up their hair/makeup
• sponges and having to use them to clean anything
• blow drying my hair
• girls that are MY AGE that are already married, having a mortgage, being like, kindergarten teachers, and baking pies for their "hubbys" when they get home from work. relax june cleaver, we get it, you're "mature"
• the sound of silverware against dishware
• old people assuming I'm incompetent because I'm young
• excessive public displays of affection
• when a customer comes up to order coffee beans, and the three essential pieces of information to successfully place said order are not given to me all at once, requiring me to engage them in a 21-question type situation
• strollers/parents who insist on bringing their infants/toddlers everywhere
• people that are scared of/don't like dogs
• colored dress shirts with white collars, especially on men
• baggy jeans on men
• bossiness
• the phrase, "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" because the image makes me uncomffortable
• going in for a hug when the other person is trying for some cheek action or a simple handshake
• men's khaki cargo shorts/pants
• feeling uncomfortable with saying "gay" "God" or "retarded" in public whenever I have the urge to say it because of political correctness
• awkward silences in elevators
• groups of girl friends that call themselves some shitty name or acronym
• the startled/anxious/disgusted feeling I get when I hear someone cough
• homesickness/whatever the depressed nostalgic feeling I get is that I can't ever articulate
• body hair on bars of soap
• fruity pet names for your signifigant other, especially "wifey/hubby"
• Filet O' Fish commercial
• the feeling of wearing makeup all day
• having to go the extra mile using cold cream to take off eye makeup
• actually, I'll just put all beauty regimens in general
• online acronyms/when people use the term(?) "DILLIGAF" in a real life conversation
• any occasion requiring me to use hairspray
• having a big fight with your boyfriend and waking up the next morning and remembering he is/you are still mad
• the tiny caps on the eco-friendly water bottles
• long sleeve polos and the fucking idiots that wear them
• Republicans
• people who talk to you condescendingly about their hobby or interest
• the sound of people not picking up their feet when they walk
• bluetooth headsets/those who use them in public
• the sound of children throwing a tantrum
• people overusing "prayer" or giving God credit for trivial shit that God, (if he does exist) wouldn't waste his time on anyway
• not having the balls to dye my hair Kat Von D red
• not being Kat Von D
• Kat Von D
• most, if not all facebook status/photo "game" trends, whatever you want to call them
• really butch lesbians
• breaking in new shoes
• really shitty handwriting
• watching a movie I've already seen with a person who is seeing it for the first time, because I want them to pay attention to every single second of it and that causes me a lot of anxiety
• shopping for pants/trying on clothes
• people who stand idle on escalators
• the intensity of car commercials
• the person(s) that get that one last clap in after the applause has ended
• people describing themselves as "random"
• socks getting wet while wearing them
• the smell of metal or coins on my hands
• the word panty
  • moist
  • throb
  • supper
  • quiver
  • succulent
  • bequeath
  • dollop
  • yummy
  • pustule
  • tender
  • belly
  • ripe
  • milky
• Ugg boots
• deadlines for anything
• public speaking
• feminists
• volunteer firefighters
• cheap dates/cheap people in general
• homophobic males
• iTunes song prices
• licorice
• white chocolate
• not being able to buy clothing/garments incorporating lace/embellishments/beading because I don't have time to hand wash
• not having chapstick
• when minorities highlight their hair/dye it unnatural colors
• people asking me if I'm okay when I'm clearly okay
• fluorescent lighting
• someone asking me "Can I ask you a question?" or "We need to talk"
• Crocs
• tomboys/female athletes that wear sweatpants everyday
• frosted hair/highlights
• 1-800-CONTACTS commercials
• animal prints
• Facebook application invites
• falling asleep with the TV on, and waking up at 3AM to infomercials
• one-word text messages
• the feeling of falling out of love with someone/someone falling out of love with you
• the sound of the telephone ringing
• British accents, I think, sometimes
• how raspberries get moldy in like 2 minutes
• people casually calling their parents by their first names
• girls with raspy man voices
• anyone waaaay too obsessed with the military and military related things
• Desperate Housewives
• Sex & the City, and especially that slut Samantha
• Sarah Jessica Parker
• males and/or females that are obsessed with the perfection of their significant others and it's all I have to hear about everyday of my life
• adult cartoons
• trying to stock the cases as customers are constantly disorganizing and removing things
• the feeling I get as ^this^ is happening and I'm being really rude and impatient with them, and then they say sorry, and I feel bad
• weekend TV scheduling
• Thursdays
• polka dots
• going to bed hot and waking up cold
• anything that is craftily bedazzled or bejeweled
• lip gloss
• forgetting specific details of good dreams
• people offering me gummy or sticky foods/candies with their fingers, so it gets warm, or I can see their fingerprints in it
• women with men haircuts/Dorothy Hamill hair
• the sound of buzz saws
• girls turning up the contrast way too high on their photos
• the sound a whisk makes while whisking
• people having babies
• short/fat fingers
• pretentious fucks
• two-tone hair
• males whose pants don't fit them right/baggy jeans
• men with unnaturally large behinds
• men who wear brands such as stars & straps, fox, young & restless, or any other cheesy pseudo-skater/pseudo-bro brand
• men and/or womens graphic tees from American Eagle or Abercrombie or Hollister whose shitty eagle/moose/seagull applique and vintage/preppy/beach-y logo obnoxiously advertise to everyone:
  • A.) "I really could give two shits about good style, but I'd still like you to think that I put in an effort since I spent $50 on this t-shirt."
  • B.) "I'm too chicken shit to experiment with making my OWN fashion statement, so I'm gonna buy whatever my friends like."
  • C.) "My mom purchases my wardrobe for me."
• having to fill ice trays
• hunting, and the assholes who post photos of themselves with dead deer/various other woodland creatures... no need for a picture, I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. YOU KILLED A DEER, COOL. YOU'RE DICK IS HUUUUUUGE. CONGRATS.
• backseat drivers
• being the only one not laughing in a group of hysterically laughing people
• yup, definitely British accents
• the Duggar family from 19 Kids and Counting, specifically the creepy dad
• Katy Perry
• kids from upstate that live/go to school in the city who condescendingly refer to their homes as being "upstate", to make themselves sound better
• any name followed by the suffix "Jr."
• people pronouncing shit weird, example: "al-BAN-y" no.
• never knowing how to spell the word "weird", and the fact that the "i before e" mnemonic device NEVER WORKS FOR ME
• double-taking a person that's double-taking you at the same time/having a stranger catch you staring at them more than once
• Hey, Soul Sister
• being told I'm too quiet
• St. Ives "Head Shoulders Knees & Toes" commercial
• America's healthcare system
• being asked stupid questions
• looking at my cellphone phone and not having any messages... for hours
• sitting in the waiting rooms of doctor's offices
• Family Guy
• people trying to make small talk with me for the sake of talking
• counting the hours until I have to wake up the next morning and realizing it's less than 8
• people that don't understand the basic rules of punctuation or general grammar
• people who drink too much
• people who don't drink enough
• someone talking while I'm trying to listen to someone else talk
• the dreams that feel really real, and then you wake up and you're life goes back to sucking
• car dealership commercials (both television & radio)
• guys that act different around their friends
• any male or female hairstyle that requires hair gel
• young couples that like the idea of playing house way too much and take themselves and their relationship way too serious
• girls with way too much boy drama/life drama
• really shitty tattoos, ie: girls' tattoos incorporating flowers, birds, or butterflies and guys' tattoos incorporating their last name, anything tribal, or really shitty phrases
• the idea of TV dinners
• Italian pride
• that feeling you get when you realize your computer has a virus
• Jake Gyllenhaal dated Taylor Swift
• adults trying to discuss past/present/future school/life goals with me
• when the person driving in front of me comes to a complete and unnecessary stop before making a turn
• 98% of the female population doing the winged eyeliner technique improperly
• ants
• Anne Hathaway, and not being able to come up with a good reason why
• the couples that put themselves as "engaged or married" on Facebook when they're really just dating
• girls who put themselves as "married" to whoever their best friend is
• people who list 50 people on Facebook as their "family members" but they're really just their friends
• people whose whisper voices are the same volume as their regular voices
• the amount of jealousy that I harbor against that stupid couple chosen to be on the 1,000 Things To Do Before You Die TV show
• having hair
• fake nails
• Fran Drescher
• women having to have dinner ready for their husbands when they get home from work
• really shitty pick up lines and the men that genuinely believe they will work
• ladies pants suits
• short men
• any person at a bar, club, or concert who feel like they are VIP and obnoxiously push to the front of the line because they "know the bartender/owner/band" WOW, I just can't hide it: I. AM. SO. IMPRESSED.
• tacky cliche weddings
• fat girls that don't like skinny girls
• skinny girls that still diet
• names and/or nicknames like CeeCee, KiKi, MiMi, DeeDee
• spam e-mail
• ulcers
• those icebreaker games on the first day of a class
• sleeping in unfamiliar places
• boyfriends who are whipped
• momma's boys
• going into a public restroom to use my phone, or take a break, or do something unrelated to going to the bathroom or touching anything, yet still feeling obligated to wash my hands because other people will judge me
• both male and female mustaches
• weak handshakes/obligatory handshakes
• deadlines
• really picky eaters/won't try anything new/won't expand their horizons to anything aside from, like, spaghetti or BBQ chicken
• folding a fitted sheet
• the little piece that detaches itself and sticks to you from the handles of plastic grocery bags
• the sound of someone banging the excess off a spoon/spatula/etc.
• the rattling sound of the small broken piece in every TV remote control. What IS that?
• the anxiety of turn styles
• the year of my life in which I had an industrial piercing
• people chewing with their mouths open
• people smacking their gum
• pedestrians in the crosswalk while I'm driving
• always feeling obligated to say my area code when giving my number, and never really knowing if it's already implied
• dropping something round or circular on the floor so it goes on rolling and spinning and you can't pick it up until it stops
• people sitting directly in front of, next to, or behind me in a movie theater when there are plenty of other seats around
• anyone named Richard who feels comfortable with their nickname being "Dick"
• that mid-40s man or woman still hanging around by themselves at the bar at like 2AM, just looking at everyone
• PEOPLE CONSTANTLY TYPING IN CAPS Or At Least Capitalizing Everything
• people who walk around the grocery store like it's a haunted hedge maze
• adults in college
• know-it-alls
• spotty dishware or silverware
• men that are way too macho
• gorgeous women with really grandma-type names
• people pronouncing mozzarella as "MOOT-za-RELL" or ricotta as "ri-GOTE" what in the fuck?
• cops
• some fraternities and definitely all sororities
• friend requests from douchey bro guys with 10,000 facebook friends