- dear next door neighbors, is there a way you can do quiet kegstands after 1 am? thanks
- dear UL streakers, you are flabby. everyone sees that you're flabby. you probably shouldn't be naked.
- dear tall girl, blow your nose. no one wants to see that.
- dear boy in class, clear you freakin throat like a man. just do it. i don't need eight million little coughs, just clear it once and be done.
- dear girl who showers before me, stop moving the shower head so that the water sprays me in the face and gets all over the floor when i turn it on. you're stupid and i'm tired of having squishy wet rugs.
- dear mailer-daemon, i don't know what kind of evil mastermind you are but stop blocking my emails. you've obviously acquired AI and should be terminated immediately.
- dear crazy cousin, married and divorced in less than a year? wow it sure is fun being 22 ain't it?
- dear other crazy cousin, don't ever write that you are "sluttin with my hoes 2nite, watwat" in your facebook status ever again. you are tarnishing my good name. and my intellect.
- dear New York, you already have Times Square to secretly poison my subconscious and sear images into my retinas; you do not need to put tvs in the taxis too...
- dear policeman, i hate you for catching me and secretly wanted to get on COPS.
- dear Twilight-fans, thanks for reminding me that humanity is doomed.
- dear boy i like, i will resort to kissing lesser men if you don't ask me out soon.
dec 7 2008 ∞
jul 31 2009 +
jul 31 2009 +