Credits [http://www.jerseyshorequotes.com/]

Pauly D

• There's no way i'm going to Jersey without my hair gel, can't leave without my gel.
• In a weird Snookers world, like me and Snookers would make the best, like, little guidos and guidettes, little poofs and blow-outs on our little kids.
• She just doesn't want to feel like a trashbag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue.
• My hair didn't even move an inch and I was in & out of the water. My hair's windproof, waterproof, soccerproof, motocycleproof. I'm not sure if my hair's bulletproof, I'm not willin' to try that.
• It's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women.
• Someone threw a drink and then all of a sudden it was like WWIII or something.
• Through the scuffle Snooks gets hit in the face, again. Poor girl… she needs to take some karate classes or somethin’. She needs self defense. Somebody’s got to teach her how to fight or duck.
• I just met this girl and she already stalks my whole life.

The Situation

• You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off.
• Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal.
• Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation.
• Angelina was like a half-ass firecracker. It just fizzled out real quick and made a loud noise.
• I’m like “chill out, Freckles McGee.”
• Everybody should take each side of my plate and walk it to the garbage.
• G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.
• I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn’t want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house.
• That hater-juice is best served cold.
• It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.
• Snooki’s outfit is crazy, she looks like a birthday cake, she’s all decorated, dressed up, with the pink, boobs all out up in her face, I guess she wants to go out with a big bang, literally.

Snooki

• My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guy and live my life.
• I am a princess at home, like, I am the f*cking princess of f*cking Poughkeepsie. Here, I am nobody, I'm like emotionally exhausted.
• Pickles is my thing.
• Mike can be a nice guy like, he shows his good side then he shows his jerk off side, that’s what I like: a good guy and a jerk off, it’s all in the same.
• That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that cause they're alive when you kill it.
• I tried to eat but I couldn't get it in my freakin' mouth 'cause I'm disabled.
• I hate guys. I’m turning lesbian. I swear.
• This one girl starts like charging me like a f*ckin’ hippo.
• I’m not pissed off that they put pickles under my bed as a joke, but I’m pissed off that Mike and Pauly wasted two pickles.
• My boobs are so tight I can’t breathe, is that normal?
• Where are the juice-heads? I don’t see any f*cking guido juice-head, you woke me up for nothing.

Sammi

• Yes, I had sex, like hello, you're gonna have sex if you're into somebody. It's natural.
• This little shrimp thing is like bopping all around, on the circle and like doing her thing, doing backwards flips with her thong hanging out; her whole crotch is in the air.
• Go home. You don’t belong here. You don’t even look Italian!
• You just f*ckin’ traumatized me.
• Don't call 911, I think that's emergency.

Ronnie

• Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point. Seriously, he would.
• Schnickers is like crying 'cause she got punched in the face and like The Situation is creepin'.
• Pauly pulled out his DJ equipment. He's got the Italian thing on the equipment, he has another Italian flag on his book bag, another Italian flag on his laptop. He's the ultimate guido, he really is.
• I would give her dick in bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum & say 'chew on this'.
• J-WOWW's p*ssy must bring rainbows and pots of treasure!
• You’re a stumpy bastard, too. Listen, with your Flinestone big toe, with your doorstop big toe.
• Me and Sam actually leave around like 4 o’clock, we’ve been here since 12 o’clock, 5 hours is like enough.

Jwoww

• I left the club early because I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I felt like eating ham and drinkin' water. Ham.
• It's gorilla central out there, get the f*ck up, juice-heads everywhere!
• It’s juice-head central right now, I’m in heaven.

Vinny

• Guys with the blow-outs and the fake tans, and guys that wear lip-gloss and makeup, those aren't guidos, those are retards.
• These kids are robots... Gym, Tanning, Laundry... that's how they make the guidos.
• She’s Mike without a six-pack. She looked like Mike with a wig on. I was a little bit freaked out.
• How do I taste, bro? How does my d*ck taste, bro? Congratulations on my sloppy seconds.
• Yo, Pauly D has a little situation on his hands.. she's definitely a stage 5 clinger.

Angelina

• I am the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island baby.
• I feel like this job is beneath me, I'm a bartender. I do, like, great things.
• Yo, I will cut your hair while you're sleeping!
• How do you go in a f*cking jacuzzi with a thong and a bra? Wear a thong bikini , that's a little bit more classier if you're gonna wear anything at all, ya know what I mean?