- Testing boys by not responding to their texts to see if they text again.
- Doing crunches while watching Say Yes to the Dress.
- My phone's text history could ruin lives.
- The only "granny panties" I wear are the ones that come sewed into my norts.
- Picking a polish based on the name on the bottle.
- He knows I'm wife material, more importantly, his parents know it too.
- If you don't focus on your ass, no one else will.
- Always packing the perfect pool bag.
- Aside from diamonds and pearls, hairspray and teasing combs are my best friends.
- Keeping only my head in the shade while tanning for a perfectly tanned body and a freckle-less complexion.
- Planning drunk texts before you ever go out.
- Looking like mama but drinking like daddy.
- I never want to get to the point in my life when I look better with my clothes on than without them.
- Using one hand to cover your pearls while using the other to spray hairspray.
- Deleting the evidence, one text at a time.
- If his name doesn't end in a roman numeral, the evening won't end with my pearls on his nightstand.
- Wine : how classy people get shitfaced.
- If my voice is pitched higher than usual that means I am only pretending to be nice.
- City girl, country soul.
- Matching my norts and oversized t shirt. Not like you can see my norts though.
- My daddy's been taking me out on "Daddy/Daughter Dates" since I could walk, all so I'd know how a real man is supposed to treat me.
- My family lives in the house with the fleet of BMWs in the driveway.
- Not needing a fake ID cause you never have to provide your own alcohol.
- On gameday, I shotgun Natty's in my grandmother's pearls and a $300 Lily dress.
- Even though my closet could double as a shopping mall, all I wear are oversized tees, norts, and chacos.
- I know my parents' credit card number by heart.
- Pearls with tshirts.
- I have separate closets for sundresses, norts, date party tshirts, and cowboy boots.
- If it's before 8 am it's a stride of pride.
- Marked the Democratic ads on Facebook as offensive.
jun 7 2011 ∞
jun 7 2011 +
jun 7 2011 +