• "Aha, look at Emma's face! It looks like she's in the fall moon." (shining a flashlight at me)
• "This vet, as you know from meeting him, is Mr. Bizarre Head."
• Trish: "Ellen, you have something in common with giraffes. They are strict vegetarians and pacifists."

Mom: "Oh, I'm not a pacifist."

• Mom: "I always want to sit down to put my socks on."

Uncle Neal: "Or to take them off." Mom: "Or to put one on and take one off."

• On our house: "Too many walls in that house."
• "I mean, I like him, but he's a dullard."