- Have a cake that looks like a wedding cake or children's birthday cake, then after it has been eaten reveal that your blood has been baked into it.
- Have a few friends pretend to be dead, and do a guess who activity.
- Hire a clown eulogist.
- Have a fake policeman burst in, run towards the casket, say "damn it! I'm too late!", look at all of the attendees, nod, and run out.
- Be buried with a friend!
- The coffin opens to reveal someone other than you, who opens their eyes after noticing the stunned silence. Then, they sit up and say something "oh sh¡t! Wrong funeral, sorry!" and get up and leave. Next, you have 3 options: A) Your coffin is carried in, and the other coffin is taken away (this is the most bland option, only do this if you want to bore your guests to tears). B) A curtain pulls back to reveal your ashes (or bones) in a pile (or in a container, if you wish.) OR C) The blood of 100 virgins seeps out through the cracks in the floor, as your lifeless body is revealed to be on a slowly rising podium. The clown-eulogist begins to recite dark spells in ancient latin, and noxious fumes fill the room. Your body begins to twitch, the life drained from the attendees flows through you. The clown grows massive, ink black tentacles. You inhale deeply, the dark lord clown eulogist has blessed you with a second life.
- hold the funeral at an ice cream parlour.
may 20 2023 ∞
apr 30 2026 +