CURSED KIN

Associated emotions:

• Depression, longing, guilt, misery

Shift notes:

• Not a very good shift to be in
• seriously this shift sucks
• This shift gives me a lot of physical symptoms, especially at night. Muscle twitches resemble the feeling of glitching, in a very mild sense.
• You might see me talk more slowly, or stutter, if I'm in this shift. I probably won't make eye contact and might get a little drifty.
• I've had several very vivid dream shifts, and memories come disturbingly easily

Canon notes:

• Okay actually I'm going to put a trigger warning before I start because this gets detailed
• In life, I was very close with Yuri. She was a really close friend of mine. She confided in me when she realised she liked (-----), the person across the street from me. She trusted me with that, and more.
• Yuri actually trusted me enough that she shared her poems with me before we joined Monika's club. After we joined, she became withdrawn about her writing but she was still one of my dearest friends.
• Before I died, I made a bunch of reckless confessions to as many people as I knew. Maybe I was fishing to see how much people cared. But ultimately dumping that information made me feel even more ready for what would happen next. So I went to my room, wrote the last of my feelings into poems, and tied myself to the ceiling fan.
• After I died the universe tried to reset itself. I was stuck on some weird, broken plane, where I could do nothing but look in and try to bring myself back, or at the very least see what was happening. I could see into Yuri's thoughts, and Natsuki's. But it would only make bad things happen in their world.
• I feel responsible for Yuri's death. Me looking in seemed to amplify all their emotions. Her self-injury habits wouldn't have happened if I was still alive, but since I wasn't there she had nobody to replace that so all she had was her pocket knives.
• Natsuki had an abusive parent relationship in both worlds. She had to hide her manga collection in our room because she was trans, and her dad didn't want her to enjoy girly things. She had more trouble hiding it with me dead, because the universe resetting itself made her more forgetful. She forgot to change out of her skirt a few times. She'd get beaten for that.
• I couldn't see anything of Monika. She was a different being entirely. She seemed to know (-----) quite well in a disturbing way, but that's all I knew.
• Yuri's pocket knife collection wasn't at all a danger to her while I was alive
• Glitches caused everyone else physical pain, which I could feel the same way as them, and they were my fault, but they were extremely difficult to pull away from in those moments
• it was all my fault