"Extinction" editing a friends book so silly

• too many adverbs?
• suggestion's?
• does it need more scenery description?
• is the story making sense?
• is it hard to follow?
• it is moving too fast or too slow?
• are character traits apparent?
• are they too exaugurated or not enough?
• past tense
• are the chapters too short or too long anywhere
• are there chapters i should combine?
• does Dylan need more inside thoughts