• "Nothing sexier than a man wearing a fine cravat." "Nothing sexier than a woman who appreciates a fine cravat." "How about we just call it a tie?"
  • "But yeah, I met Stanley Gault and he wasn't that great of a guy. I expected someone who donated so much to Wooster to be a nice person, but he was actually kind of a jerk." "Really? Because I heard he had nice Manors."
  • "Yo, Pig... you met the new owners of the diner? That's Tina and that's Archie. They renamed our diner 'Evitas.'" "Hi, Tina! Hi, Archie!" "Dude, you've gotta taste their toasted rye bread and coffee." "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah. Before they serve it to you they dunk the corners of the bread in the coffee. Tastes great." "Oh, boy! I want that!" "Well then tell them." "DUNK RYE FOR ME, ARCH AND TINA!"
  • "He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends!"
  • "Sir, you've made your feelings clear on France, but where do you stand on other issues? For example, are you pro choice?" "Oh, no, no no, no, no, not at all." "Why is that?" "Because in high school, they made us read 'Ulysses' and it was the most incomprehensible crap I've ever read in my life."
  • "Hey, Pig, want to play 'Bobbing for Seeds'?" "What's that?" "You hold a watermelon and suck as many seeds as you can out of it in one minute." "Oh yeah! Let me try." ... "Not bad, not bad. Alright, now we'll try a new game called 'Farce.' It's like 'Bobbing for Seeds,' but instead of a dry watermelon, we make it harder by oiling it up." "It'll be too hard to hold." "Yeah, that's why it's called 'Farce.' It's just a huge comedy of errors." "What if I can't do it with the oily one?" "We'll go back to the other game." "So if at 'Farce' I don't suck seed, try dry again?"
  • "Yo, Zeebs, whatcha doin?" "Fixing some old vinyl records I have." "Fixing how?" "Oh. I heard if you rub 'Vick's Vaporub' on the record and let it sit overnight, you can get rid of some of the scratches." "Really?" "Yeah, but who knows. I'll tell you though, this is a lot of work. If you could help me a little, I'll pay you." "How many do I have to do?" "Right now, I just want my old Baroque albums. They're the most scratched. We can put Vicks on the other ones later." "Oh good, so I don't have to do any of these jazz ones?" "No, no. If it ain't Baroque, don't Vick's it."
  • "Your chores are to tend the garden and feed your pokémon. Which are you going to do first?" "Pokémon, of course. Slowbros before hoes." (courtesy Dueling Analogs)
jun 17 2010 ∞
jul 1 2010 +