WHITE CARDS

• Harvey Keitel's nude scene in The Piano
• McDonald's Filet-o-fish sandwich
• Miranda Cosgrove
• Uggs
• A Human Centipede
• Jehovah's Witnesses
• Lil' Wayne
• Crocs
• Billie Joe Armstrong
• Low-brow jokes about Justin Bieber's gender identity.
• The Saw franchise
• Internet Explorer
• Lindsay Lohan in five years
• Snooki's autobiography
• The Apartheid
• Ramen noodles
• An IMAX screening of Showgirls
• Jennifer Lawrence
• Fiats
• Bob's bitch tits
• Steven Tyler
• Mitt Romney
• Marsellus Wallace
• One Direction
• Sarah Jessica Parker
• Tumblr feminists
• Veganism
• Motel Internet
• Michael Bay films
• Uwe Boll films
• Quoting Mean Girls
• Meryl Streep
• Marrying a Kardashian
• The one-armed drummer from Def Leppard
• Direct-to-DVD movies
• Autism Speaks
• The Dave Matthews Band
• Nicki Minaj
• Christina Aguilera's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner
• Channing Tatum
• An abundance of outrageous gore
• Bacterial Vaginosis
• Cheese sauce
• Tim Tebow
• The puppet sex scene in Team America
• Iggy Azalea's superhuman ass
• Katherine Heigl romantic comedies
• Ariana Grande bragging about her sexual prowess.
• Tomi Lahren
• Your Problematic Fave
• Dr. Oz
• The Iranian Hostage Crisis
• Mel Gibson
• Christian Apologetics
• CBD Oil
• Kristen and Bethany from Girl Defined Ministries
• Tapas
• Minions
• Gender Reveal Parties
• Liam Gallagher

BLACK CARDS

• First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ___.
• The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that ______ didn't exist.
• Life, liberty, and the pursuit of _______.
• Tonight on Dancing with the Stars, _____ will pair up with ____ to perform a sensual rumba.
• Attention restaurant customers, _______. That is all.
• Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by ______.
• Enjoy Michael Buble's brand new _____ album. Fun for the whole family!
• Cosmo sex tip #28: Before you orgasm, scream "________" at the top of your voice.
• I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING ________ ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING ________!!
• Did you see Lady Gaga's outfit at the VMAs? It was made entirely out of _______!
• Taylor Swift's latest single is reportedly about her breakup with ____________.
• In Quentin Tarantino's latest historical revenge thriller, _____________ plays a persecuted Jew who vows to kill the Nazis with _______________.
• My anaconda don't want none unless you got _________ hun.
• Joaquin Phoenix dedicated an awful lot of his Oscar acceptance speech to grandstanding about ________.