Just how insufferable do you have to be to get thrown out of Hell? Apparently, just as insufferable as these two. Rumour has it demons who get sent 'upstairs' never come back. Nobody ever questions why though... They... probably should.

• Levvita (Levv) ("Levi Smith")
  • '31'
  • 5'8
  • 208lbs
  • Who cares, and, uh, who cares. (He/him)
  • """English""" (Londoner)
  • Hates people. Hates work. Hates being on Earth. Literally the only thing keeping him there is, as the title would imply, you can't get the internet when you're downstairs.
  • Can only hold his disguise for a couple of hours tops, purely bc he's too lazy to focus his energy on it, so he got a job at a year-round carnival so his appearance is excusable
  • Googled "most popular surnames" and chose literally the first one for his "human" name
  • Insults Val often enough that it's like "asshole" is a pet name
  • Their demonic house cat (who was actually meant to monitor them but they both spoiled it so it got real comfy) sometimes sleeps on him and it makes him fall asleep too like immediately
  • Actually quite the chef! ...When he can be bothered to cook.
• Valnarus (Val) ("Valery Hargreaves")
  • '33'
  • 6'4
  • 162lbs
  • Literally Anybody and... Demon. But like, a masc demon. (... also he/him)
  • Also """English""" (they're from hell there's no regions in hell!!! Still sounds like a Londoner tho)
  • Thinks he's suave. He Is Not. Gets sad when he finds out one of his coworkers that he finds hot is in a relationship and goes home and sulks about it.
  • ... May also sometimes beg Levv to give him attention to make up for it but SSH
  • Is extremely self-centred. That's mostly why he got kicked out. He's just intolerably vain.
  • Genuinely thinks being 6'4 is a personality trait
  • Wears almost exclusively suits, or at the very least some kind of button-up. Only really wears other things if he's sleeping or working out. Gets super pretentious about his presentation.
  • He's getting on as a successful salesman! Because, as we all know, the number one skill you need to be a salesman is the ability to lie through your teeth.