I think that fears can develop over time, or it can happen in an instant. I do know that, I never use to always have any of these fears, but now...life happens and this happens and hopefully one day I will be able to cross these fears out...one by one.
- The dark. No, I am not scared of the dark itself, really, but more what my imagination says is IN the dark. You know how "they" say "the evil resides in the dark" yeah, I guess in my huge imagination I scare myself. So I know it's all in my mind, but it's like when the dark catches me unaware or when I am in a situation where there is no light, my imagination has a mind in it's own and I shut down.
- Spiders. Not the tiny spiders. Not even the daddy long leg spiders. I'm talking about those spiders that can literally eat you. Those big, hairy, dark spiders that are bigger than your hand and can run faster than you can move. I see one of those babies and my heart stops.
- Crowds. Especially since I'm SO short. And the majority of the people are way taller than me. I get this closed-in feeling and and I start to panic. As long as I have someone next to me that I know...and I feel comfortable with. And that's rare.
- Commitment. I get this claustrophobic feeling that losing something very valuable to me-independence. And I can't get serious about a guy because of it. I run the other way whenever I feel like something is happening. I end up feeling bad...but I stop breathing whenever I feel like my independence is being taken away.
- Hurting someone's feelings. I am always constantly wondering if I did something to hurt someone's feelings. And I hate wondering. I also constantly wonder what I did to get you mad at me.
- Confrontation. Oh goodnesss. I hate confrontation.
- Trust. I feel like it doesn't exist, and when it quite possible can...I can't be there to experience it coz I know that it's going to blow up in my face.
- Swimming somewhere where I can't see the bottom. I don't care if it's miles down, as long as I can see the bottom, I can swim there. But if it's like 3 feet deep and I can't see the bottom, that's where my fear comes in. I know that I swim in the ocean a lot...but that's because I'm trying to get over my fear and I love the ocean...but I always feel like there is something under the waves that I can't see that looks at me as a tasty morsel. There is no way in the world that I can EVER out swim a shark! AHHH!!!
- Getting in an accident. I have been in one to many car accidents and every time I get behind the wheel I get this overwhelming feeling that my turn is up.
- Being in a crowd. I feel like I'm going to get lost and never find my way out. I try to avoid them at all cost. This is also when people crowd me...and I feel like I can't breath anymore.
- Shallow water and coral. oh okay...I LOVE...simple adore snorkeling...but when it comes to the coral being within 2 1/2 feet from me...I start to freak out. I start feeling like I am going to drown or something...something about coral though and huge rocks...if it was sand...I couldn't are less...but not coral. Yes, I don't like.